I Think We Have a Shaun White Issue

*This entire post was made possible by Jeff over at Ocupop and by the number 12.

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. I mean, for real, this is troubling. I’m not seeing one Burton, target, HP, Red Bull or Oakley logo on him. His handlers must be pist!

I can only assume Mr. Blanco is coming directly from some sort of Thai ceremony where he played the role of Davy Crockett. That shirt is just blowing my mind right now. I really want it to be held together with safety pins in the back. Or may just shredded fabric. And that racoon tail. I’ve seen dudes on bikes try to rock that shit in Riverwest and they always give up after a few days. Even the shitbag/scenesters are like “you just went too far Fess Parker.”

Man, we’ve seen akshin sport styles go this way before. Gator? And what did he do? Oh yeah, he killed his girlfriend and dumped her body in the desert. This only lends credibility to my prediction as to how we can make snowboarding cool again. Check #9 it’s in there.

Ah Shit.

And where is Senor Blanco off to? To see the prez of course. Can you imagine Brobama and Blanco getting together. The ego in that room is going to be mega. They’re going to have to measure ‘em for sure.

This is how it’s going to go down.

Obama: Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That honky muf’ be messin’ mah old lady… got to be runnin’ cold upside down his head, you know?
Blanco: Hey home’, I can dig it. Know ain’t gonna lay no mo’ big rap up on you, man!
Obama: I say hey, sky… subba say I wan’ see…
Blanco: Uh-huh.
Obama: …pray to J I did the same ol’ same ol’!
Blanco: Hey… knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in’, man!
Obama: Hey, you know what they say: see a broad to get dat booty yak ‘em…
Both in unison:…leg ‘er down a smack ‘em yak ‘em!
Obama: COL’ got to be! Y’know? Shiiiiit.

True facts. Though really I could have written this whole thing in WindDings 3,  as I imagine these two wont be speaking about anything of importance.

Meanwhile, over on Sean’s Facebook page we have this mess:

Man, white folks is angry.

Follow-up: This might be part of Burton’s elaborate “Keep Snowboarding Rich and White Campaign.”

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One Response to “I Think We Have a Shaun White Issue”

  1. Im just gonna go grab some popcorn and wait for the folks that dont know about the Airplane quotes to start goin batshit crazy ….

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