Snowman Cometh…

Ellipsis. Suck it old boss. This is bloggerism and your Religious fanatacism has no sway here. Imma ellipsis in blogs for ever. IRL, I just SMH.

While Yobeat is over there hyping up the latest vids to be released (I warned you in the spring, it’s all cutting room floor crap), Imma gonna keep you on top of shit right here. You can officially quit glimpsing split second clips of Burton decks and Capita’s creepshow army, and gawk longingly—it’s catalogue time, MFers

So get with it, 2011 shrad is on the way. Case in point, I picked this beast up at MODA3 today. You could also read that as MODA3 2day, or MODA-Kevin McHale-day. Brand standards just went right out the window with that one. Anyway I grabbed the 2011 Burton Catalogue:

I have placed it here next to a quarter and a rumorator.com business card, for scale. First thing you’ll notice is that it’s much bigger than last year’s bible concept (assuming you can remember that far back). But oddly enough I think the weight is roughly  the same. Lighte-weight paper stock, no embossed cover and fuck those foiled edges.  It’s nice to see that after dropping about $5/catalogue last year, running short on them , and raising a ton of speculation as to why the board prices went up, Big B opted to go for something a lot less conceptual. The irony of it is I think it’s a lot better catalog, in that there aren’t themes fighting throughout, like last year, and only the premium lines are differentiated. That damn bible had a new theme every seven pages.

So lets flip it open.

Oh look, Mason Aguirre isn’t mentioned anywhere. I guess he’s cut this year. Nico gets mentioned but doesn’t get pics. Nike doesn’t own Burton, but they are kind of owning them.

The price on Jeremy Jones board dropped by about $100, or as I like to think of it $10 less dollars that is going to some lunatic pack of MOMOs. And of course he has got some motorcycle/americana motif happening. FUCK BURTON, HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE A SHITTY MOTOCYCLE THEMED BOARD BEFORE YOU REALIZE IT’S OVER? Remember when Ride was making those motocross themed KH series or whatever they were. Well, they learned their lesson.

T-minus four years until he dumps a broad’s body in the desert and they track it back to him because of the bandana.  The Gatoring continues. Brought to you by Target.

Oh look it’s the “B by” line. Great. I hope a lot of lades love this line. But most women don’t bother to try and look like girls whilst getting the shrad. So this is really made to appeal to the guys who buy their ladies new clothes. And if that is the case I’m going to make the entire “B by” line more appealing with one, masterful cut and paste.

You see what happened there?

Okay now lets move on. The women’s outerwear line has three vest options. The guys? Nada. WTF Bigga B? All I want is a vest like the AK ones you used to make. Can we make that shit happen?

Also The Nug. Fuck that. It’s called The Lunch Tray, and Morrow made it in 1992-ish.

Lastly the women’s Lipstick.

I think they forgot to highlight “Inspired by Capita” in the features. Right next to Infinite Ride, Bro.

Speaking of Capita: Click it!

And know you might be saying to yourself, “Oh but Rumorator that shit is kind of blurry.” Doesn’t matter broder. They got a zoom  and all you really need to look at is right here:

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to prop up this closer from the Burton Catalogue:

Buy local, because we would hate to see people in your community lose their jobs. Besides we outsource enough for everyone. FACT: Not one item in the new B catalog is produced in the US.

BUY LOCAL SUCKERS!

In closing, you might want to watch the latest Knife Show video if you haven’t seen it.

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11 Responses to “Snowman Cometh…”

  1. pablosson says:

    can we get some more pictures of shawn???…….cmon!!!

  2. pablosson says:

    oh and mason aguire wasn’t cut…..he just got too blunted with louie vito and danny kass in their van in the parking lot at mammoth and missed his appointment get his face sketched like a shitty cartoon character

  3. rumorator says:

    I prefer to do the slow drip on pics of shaun

  4. rumorator says:

    AND Mason isn’t even listed on the team page. I’d hate to seem him go the way of Molly. Burton hates the midwest.

    PS. Support your local Zumiez.

  5. A MAN says:

    GROSS THE SLOW DRIP EWWW

    BURDON WHY HAVE U 4SAKEN ME???

    MITIGATING FACTOR: MIDWEST LOL MIDWEST

  6. empco says:

    “FUCK BURTON, HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE A SHITTY MOTOCYCLE THEMED BOARD BEFORE YOU REALIZE IT’S OVER?”

    I am dying at my desk laughing at this. fucking classic. couldn’t be put better!

  7. rumorator says:

    Emp-co, I know that you know that I know that you know that they are going to keeping pushing this motorcycle crossover appeal thing for-fucking-ever (10 points for the tmesis). Three things Bigga B is not going to let die: Motorcycle-inspired crap, Baseless-bindings, and winged hi-back.

    I still have no men’s vest.

  8. nastyjames says:

    I hear next year Burton is partnering with Harley Davidson, to make some shitty snowboard themed bikes too. Yeah and outerwear will be waterproof leather, including Jeremy Jones’ signature jibbing chaps. Leave it to Burton to make motorcycles lame. At least snowboarding still has travis parker, who can take lame and make it awesome
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJY4-oLgjZQ&feature=player_embedded

  9. TTG says:

    Didn’t Moe have a Lunchtray? And we cut our old shit boards to conform?

  10. rumorator says:

    Shit, Moefaniel didn’t have a lunch tray, we all just wanted one. I think you’re thinking of the sauce board that was modified black snow.

    Fucking $35 snowboard that we put $120 of paint, t-nuts and p-tex on.

    And kemper highbacks.

  11. Dixon Pooseh says:

    Gator = Flying Tomato. I really think your on to something here. Homeys in a pressure cooker that will surely crack soon. Thanks for the props. Appreciated.

    PS. I looked thru the whole catalog scratching my head. Restricted, B, White Collection, AK…Jesus. What’s wrong with the name Burton? Shits got a 40% market share. Roll with it. Whatevs though.

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