Jussi vs Rumorator Precap #2

The hype is growing around the Jussi vs Rumorator Table Tennis ’10 match of the friggin’ year. Saturday At SPiN Milwaukee. It will be huge.

I can only imagine that people are starting to place bets. Wagers are waged. It’s probably falling pretty heavily in my favor right now. I can understand that. But I think I really need to level the playing field, so I’ve compiled these stats:

Jussi Oksanen

Age: 31
Experience: Travels the world to snowboard. World Class Athlete.
Movie Parts: Optigrab, Afterbang, Follow Me Around, Bigga B videos, and countless other bangers.
Awards: 1998 Finnish Olympic team, 3 Air and Style Podiums, 4 Global Open Podiums, 4 World Snowboarding Championship Podiums. 3 X-games podiums.
Strengths: The dude is a professional athlete. Slays mountains, parks and everything else. Probably has amazing hand-eye coordination.

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Weaknesses: He’s got a shaky knee.


Age: Fat
Experience: Went to Chicago once. Red Dot Trivia Host.
Movie parts: Un-credited extra in No God No Master (Unreleased).
Awards: 2nd Place Wisconsin Academic Decathlon–Economics.
Strengths: Rides a bike. Booze.
Weaknesses: Fear of Alligators.

Study up folks.

Sharks or Jets.

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2 Responses to “Jussi vs Rumorator Precap #2”

  1. a-man says:

    aZns and euros kill it at table tennis. Amurkan playing ping pong ™ really has no chance, ever.

    I’d like to say I’m pulling for you (ayo), but the dude is euro. Yer dunzo.

  2. rumorator says:

    Jussi will not be ready for me. I’ll give him the old Wisco hustle.

    Game on. Game over.

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