I Don’t Talk to Strangers, But They Talk to Me

The following is a list of things said to me by random strangers as of late

  • If you really loved America, you’d give me a couple dollars.
  • You look like you might be up for a fight. Come with us.
  • Hey
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    baby, you ever suck a white man’s dick? (this may have been addressed to the girl walking ahead of me.)

  • Oh now you’re gonna walk?
  • Fuck You.
  • Fuck you, asshole.
  • Go fuck yourself.
  • Get fucked.
  • I will piss on your leg, mother fucker.
  • Take your ass back to Showbiz pizza with that act.
  • Really? People over 16 still do that?
  • Where’s Canada?
  • You’re kind of an asshole.
  • How did you know we were here on Earth?
  • I mean, it’s a good size.
  • Fuck off.
  • Shamrock Shakes? It aint even Easter.
  • Oh, who the fuck are you Rahm Emanuel?
  • I will throw a fucking brick at your head.
  • You mean you’re not gay?
  • License and registration please.
  • You owe me the souls of seven virgins.
  • Oh! Fuck this guy.
  • Did you just fart?
  • Sir, can you please put your shirt back on and take your seat.

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3 Responses to “I Don’t Talk to Strangers, But They Talk to Me”

  1. Steph says:

    “Shamrock Shakes? It aint even Easter.”

    LOLZ!

  2. mr. chantha says:

    a few weeks back i was asked what i would do when the ground isn’t there to walk on. then the same man told to wipe that shit off my lip. that is when i realized the man was insane and homeless. the first part really stuck with me.

  3. Leslie says:

    only fair since I spent a fair amount of time harassing you about yours. Funny shit, really. Now you can see me whine about being vegan for a month. (Note: I am not vegan)

    In other news: a man once leaned out of a doorway toward me and told me assertively, “I’m going to fuck the mayor!” Too wit sir, too wit.

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