Dimebags of Funk

1th

So 9-11 came and went. But not without an absence of fanfare. And of course the NFL was out there, with their mullets and ‘merican flag tee shirts. Brainwashing, a la ‘merica right there.

For real, at one point some dude, no clue who he is,  was interviewed with the caption “Cleveland Browns Tight End Coach on 9-11-01.” Fox Sports just grasping at straws. I’m surprised they didn’t interview me with the caption “Poorly performing student on 9-11-01.” It probably would have been more poignant and compelling. Right up until I mentioned the plane getting shot down over Pennsylvania by USAer F-14 fighters..

Anyway, Conspiracy Me is also thinking that this is an effort by the right wing  to make September 11th some sort of holiday. September 11th will, from now on, be the new end of summer. It’s cool, we’ll get rid of Labor Day. That’s not an American holiday anyway. Assholes.

2rd

Woman in bar: Do you remember where you were on 9-11-01?
Rumorator: I was on a flight from Boston to LA.

That joke didn’t play well. Assholes

3st

Pretty cryptic telegraph coming in from DanVan3000 in DeepEar.
Regarding the Boundary Waters Area Forest Fire that is causing smoke to drift over all over the great state of Wisconsin.

It’s so bad we are wearing wet handkerchiefs over our faces [STOP]

and that’s just to get around in the house[STOP]

We would not even consider roaming outside for fear of the acid rain potential[STOP]

The locals are taking up a collection to build an Ark at the mouth of the Fox River[STOP]

in order to save the few remaining animals [STOP]

They hope to float it down Lake Michigan to the Illinois River [STOP]

in order to cross breed some of the animals with the dreaded Asian [STOP]

Carp. [STOP]

We can only hope and pray that we some how survive this painful ordeal [STOP]

Gotta go for now, the ashes are starting to eat through the vinyl siding [STOP]

Yours in Christ,
DanVan3000

4nd

I’ve got a sweet new voice mail message. All you MFers should call and listen to it. You know the number.

5st

Truckhoused

GarbageTruckHoused

6th

Thanks to KatieG with the bumps for this one:

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One Response to “Dimebags of Funk”

  1. a says:

    that was great!

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