Voter Depression. Or, Sheep!

Hey it’s that time of year. Time to squawk the vote. I‘m not talking about politics, this is not nearly as important. But just like politics, and Dancing With the Stars, it doesn’t really matter how you vote, the lame-os tend to win and your shit gets fucked anyway.

So with that, you should probably get over to the Shepherd Express and vote for the best of Milwaukee.

Start your voting off with:

C’mon. Fucking For Real? Best place to pick up your shit rag print medium. I guarantee every one voting for this category picks the BP station on Bluemound in Brookfield. Lame-ass suburbanites. They pick up the old ShepEx to see what people in the city are doing, and to feel edgy. CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY HAVE A COMIC CALLED “LIFE IN HELL.” WE CALL IT “LIFE IN HECK” IN MY HOUSE. The only people who even pick up this paper in the city are those looking to do a crossword puzzle while they opt to get truckhoused alone at Red Dot. I know this.

Whatever establishment wins this category, I will drop by that joint every week and piss all over their stacks of shepex papers.

It’s like the USA Today and Legends of Rock magazine had a child on a local level.

Lets move on:

What funny is 4 seasons is a skateboard park. For skateboardering, and I guess theoretically, rollerblading with your mom. The rest of those going are for ice skating. Genius. Shitbags.

Keep it going

Menswear

My boys at MODA3, have got some stiff competition: JCPenny, Jos A. Banks, Urban Outfitters. This is great list as I’ve been looking for some new Union Bay jean shorts. I’m also pretty well surprised Kohl’s isn’t on the list. That’s where 90% of this city goes to get their khakis for casual Fridays or weddings, depending on your place in the caste.

Don’t stop

A Master’s in Geography

You do realize UW-Madison and Northwestern are not in Milwaukee. And Kaplan and University of Phoenix are not real schools, right? And Carroll College is in republican Waukesha so that’s not really an option. Which leaves you with 4 of the original nine. Granted they are 4 legit schools, it doesn’t make it okay for the ShepEx to pump out hackwork.

Services Rendered

This pages is the best. I hope the ShepEx has soft hands for all the dick rubbing they are doing with these categories.

Honestly no one, NO ONE, has a favorite internet provider, cell phone provider, or lawyer. What people have is the one they are stuck with. They have they got hooked up with when they were 19 and living outta the dorms for the first time, or when the one with the coolest phone at the time their last contract was up, or they had to call when the police wanted to search their house because they had a basement of weed. But all are willing to take your money. At least the lawyer provides some sort of legit service.

I think it’s pretty clear who pays the bills at the ShepEx.

DOS

Here’s a little something brighten your day:

Tags: , , , , ,

One Response to “Voter Depression. Or, Sheep!”

  1. a says:

    lawyering is as illegit as anything in this whole world

Leave a Reply