Chapter 1: WINTAR
Seriously, where is this shit? Both coasts are getting hit. First it was the Tahoesies and Cololame-os getting some, and then UMS became CMS in a wicked blast of winter weather. SHOUT OUT TO NAT V!
Where the shit is my wintar weather?
Maybe this is for the best. I still need to find some boots. Actually, I don’t even need to find boots I just need to get them or something. Salomon Fdueceduece, where you at?
On the other hand, I got the winter ride ready to go. Just need to pop on the studded tires and fenders. But this did happen over the weekend:
I don’t even know where those GT toestraps came from. Clay Davis says “Sheeeeeeit.” Just a pile of parts, all stripped off.
But now, $100 in, I’ve got this:
Clearly, I still need to peel off some stickers and all, but it’s pretty much theft-deterred right now. I say that but someday I’ll come to find my radio missing and battery gone. Ahhh…not really. I’ve got indoor bike parking at home and at the office. This is just how Madison rolls. How are you not going to have indoor bike parking?
Seriously, I don’t even lock that shit up. Just lean it against the rack. It’s like Micheal Moore’s Canada up here. Plus we can carry guns now, so there’s that.
In other news I have no trivia on Tuesday nights anymore, so that has me lost. I’m lost-aez bru.
capítulo uno: papá
Twas poppa vRs birthday on the 26th. I missed it. I’m a horrible son. So Imma let him buy me dinner tonight to make up for it.
Also, it was halloween. The greatest thing I saw, apart from Murs making raps, was a panda, sans head, getting real raw with a slutty nurse on the dance floor (street, as the concert was outside). I should also note the slutty nurse was wearing the missing panda head. It was fucking amazing. I want to go back in time, take acid and watch it all over again. Of course if the was the case I would also go back in time and stop freshman-in-college Rumorator from getting down with like 4 of the first 5 girls I got down with. Just pull him aside and let him know, “It gets better, kid. Your gonna stop wearing those Phish shirts soon, and watch what you’re drinking, you’re getting college fat.”
Dan Savage could have had an “It gets better” campaign for me regarding the women I surrounded myself with. Shudder.
I also would then say “Listen to this album with a candle burning and you’ll see your entire future,” just before handing past-me a copy of Dr. Octagon’s The Octogonecologyst.