I’m pretty sure we have entered the end of days for my wallet. It’s been a good run. I think I picked this beast up sometime in the mid-nineties. Someone told me Kenneth Cole was the heat. I even had a pair of shoes the company made. They were shoes with a monkstrap. I knew this. The fact that I knew this probably had something to do with me not helping some broad get a role on Teen Mom.
But it was a shaky time. I needed an unchained wallet. Madre and Padre Rumoratario wanted me to look respectable. They thought my size 40 pants were an abomination. But they let me roll around on 39mm wheels like it was totally acceptable. Where was the good parenting then? C’mon dad, you couldn’t have pulled me aside and been like, “Child, get yourself some respectable wheels, like at least a 55. Also those jumbo trousers aren’t helping land any broads on Teen Mom, if you know what I’m saying. ”
PhlawsyPhiles is telling me to get on board with the Yobeat dollarClipse, but I’ve tried and tried again with those clipse. I don’t carry enough Hondos or Benjamins. Shit, I don’t even know what the cool people call one hundred dollars bills. So clipse are just right out.
Jheff JHamlett is suggesting I go with one of these Tanner Leather bifolds. That’s feeling much more my style, and you gotta admit that that natural leather has potential for long-term radness.
But, since we are now in the realm of artisan leather goods, shouldn’t I be keeping it close? Hitting up this Cap City Local? For real I could probably bike to homeboy’s tannery and get the goods. But I think the idea of having a wallet worth more than what I carry in it is hilarious. Honestly look at this mess:
I’ve got $23, a couple of debt-makers, a AAA card (I don’t even drive) and like 60% of a free slice of pizza at Ian’s. Given what I’m rolling with, I’m best off going with this:
I watched Red State. Holy shit! Granted, I’m a touch of Kevin Smith fanboy, but it doesn’t matter. This movie is crazed. I’ve seen horror movies, even a few Asian ones, they’re creepy, but Red State, that was kind of a horrifying flick.
I like this: