I was able to get out for my first mountain bike session of the year. I was at the John Muir Trails to lay down 12-14 miles and a little time in the skillz course. I was originally thinking of heading to Blue Mounds State Park, but the trails there aren’t even open yet. Which is probably a good thing. I’m not ready for that place. One thing I learned on Saturday is that I am wickedly out of biking shape. Had I been at Blue Mounds, those horrible hills would have left me for dead. Fuck, those hills are aerobically treacherous even at the peak of bike season.
Anyway, I was out riding, feeling good, passing people, then about 8 miles in I crapped out and was passed by two groups. I was struggling. My fingers were sore from gripping the bars. My shoulders were sore. I was a wreck. Somehow I finished up the ride and wept, alone in my car. I’ve got some work to do.
But the bike was in pretty good shape. Sure, a few screws need to be tightened and the shocks still need a proper fine-tuning, but damn it felt good to be back on the trails. Hard to believe last weekend I was on a snowboard.
Here are a couple more of late hitters from the Tahoe trip.
A: The girl with no pants on?
3: The guy in a tank playing a flute?
®: The fact that they were there together?
3nd Operation: Through Noggle’s Goggles
It’s been brought to my attention that Madison has local television stations. And it’s been brought to my attention that these local televisions stations have news broadcasts. And it’s been brought to my attention that one of these local news reporters claims to be an avid snowboarder.
I heard this and I knew had to dig a little deeper. It wasn’t hard. She claims to be of the shred on her own blog. I know what you’re thinking, “Shit, news lady is bloggermama too.” But hold on. I am concerned about her having bloggermama status.
I have these concerns because of her shred choices. First off, I think she might be running a Head snowboard and some off brand bindings. Then her outerwear choices are kind of questionable. If you’re not willing to succumb to old-shred status that you gotta keep your shit quick. Either you’re re-upping in your costume every season, of you’re going with the safety looks. She seems to be doing neither.
Then again, she’s a local television personality status and can’t get a hook-up? Where are the local reps on this. Get her on the program, so when the local news turns to her for a story about Capital-S snowboarding it isn’t a story about “snow boarding.”
But more importantly, I’m now on a mission to get Amber Noggle on the Rumorator program. This is how it’s going to happen. Over the next 8-9 months I’ll pressure Local Television Personality, Amber Noggle, to ride with Rumorator. It’s going to be awesome. I’ll make a whole series out of it—Through Noggle’s Goggles. It’ll be ace.
I gotta admit this is a pretty slick ad for Minnesota. Plus, the song is kind of addicting. Kinda wish they would have gotten had the snowboarderist in front of a House of 1817 backdrop.
But there is more! Did you see that band? Those dudes are solid gold. Literally, that band is SOLID GOLD. And check out Señor Hurlburt on the guitar. Dang, giving Minnesota some love from the Cleeze.
Your local Taco Bell presents 4rd Meal aka Vivir More
You know that feeling you had back in high school, about that slightly off girl in your class. Maybe she wasn’t the brightest girl in school. She probably wasn’t really attractive, maybe she wasn’t even in the regular classes and just sat in your mom’s office the whole day because you mom was the guidance counselor and that broad had problems. But yet she had those monster boobs that you couldn’t stop looking at those. She probably had boobs before any other girl and this probably had something to do with the amount of time she spent in your mom’s office getting guidance counselor-ing.