2012-61 August and Everything After or LOL Counting Crows

Hey guys, remember me? I used to write this blog. It used to be rad. It’s now tipping to the lame side. But lame is still game right?I’m still gonna drop the warm slop. I’m still gonna post up pics of your mom and draw in some dicks going into her mouth. I might even do that to your old man. Shit, I have no standards.

“Oh alright, Rumorator. Get on with it.”

Fine. It shall be gotten on with.

1th: Burton Snowboards is moving the US OPEN to Vail
There’s a lot of hubbub in the spectator community about this move. And it’s well founded. Watching the US Open with beer just got a lot more difficult and way more expensive. Remember the good old days of the open? When you could stand like 5 feet from the lip of the pipe and just rip through a twelver of Long Trail? You didn’t even have to buy a lift ticket. You stopped at gas station in Rutland and kept moving. The whole event would cost you about $30.

That kind of spectatorship is over. I guarantee to watch the event the event now, you’re going to be paying for a $100+ lift ticket and you’re going to get nowhere close to the lip. Plus, people are going to be drinking Fat Tire or Oskar Blues beers. That is the true cost of the Open moving to Vail: Shitty Colorado beers. A lot of people don’t speak openly about this, but there are only two good beers from Colorado: Left Hand’s Milk Stout and Coors. It’s not that Coors is really good, it’s just better than everything else from there.

This just fuels my love/hate relationship with the big B. For real. Shitty beers and crap viewing? This is not progression to the spectators.

I just wish they would come out and say, “Well, we’ve pretty much destroyed winter in New England. It’s probably not coming back, so we’re going to some place that still has a somewhat reliable snowfall. Buy more gear.”

2rd: On the Killing of It: Matt Barr
“Feel free to take a head in the sand approach. But if you do, you forgo the right to complain or ever become cynical about how the sport you love has been poisoned and how great it used to be in the good old days. Because essentially, by taking that stance, you are complicit in its demise”.

Okay so it’s not really a Matt Barr quote, but it’s still great and it’s still from an article he wrote. Get the whole thing right here.

3st: On the Blogger Front

A-man still kills.

Then there is this broad.

She essentially started and stopped a blog in one shot. She came out strong with that bird house piece that is goofed to fuckall. But then, dead air. What the fuck? Does she think she writes for rumorator.com? Hardly. This must have been how scientists felt the first time they cloned a human and Cloney took one breath, then turned purple and died.

Here’s what we know about LDJ: Another Seakklelite. Copywrongist. Dog Owner. Questionable choice in sunglazzles.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Bloggery isn’t for professionals. Leave it to us shitbags. We know how to make it work. Somewhat.


Let’s go back to that part about people destroying winter in New England. Global warming and such. Anyway, it is with no sense of irony that I tell you I bought this:

I can go on and on about how private-use autos are probably not the biggest culprits of climate change, but that isn’t what’s important here. That Tacomer is what’s important. It’s so huge. Quite the change from the Silver Spurt.

Now, take a look at that pic again. You see that white thing behind the Tacomer. I bought too. Well, the bank bought that for me. So now I park my Tacomer in a garage.

The house has been a roller coaster. I was stoked when I saw it originally, then bought it and walked in after closing and had this tremendous sinking feeling of “Oh fuck, I just bought a hundred million headaches.” But once all the gear was moved in and things settled a bit, I felt way better. I even got back to being thrilled about it.

Funny thing about it is, I’m most excited about the spaces that are not technically the house. The garage is currently a mixture of radness and thrashed. Dude who owned the house previously was borderline mad scientist—IF ONE CAN BE A SCIENTIST OF AWESOME AND CABINETS.

For proof, lets take a tour of my garage:

From front to back: we’ve got bizzarro cabinet #1, stacked with my moving boxes. Then we have a bunch of random wood scraps, a couple holes in the wall, my fixer and some other shit that came with the house. Beyond that we have bizarro cabinet #2: SUPER BIZARRO. This one has lifts and drop downs and so many fucked up things going on. I have no clue what to do with it. Below it is a bunch of crap that was left over. Including a plastic slide, which will make more sense later. I was also left a grass cutting machine and a half-full gas can.

Moving on.

Notice bizarro cabinets #3, #4 and #5 along the top of the back wall and between the windows. Also, be sure to dig my track lighting. Then along the side wall, I’ve got super work bench with the metal grinder built-in, a metal press, drawers and shelves down below with those jacked up doors. We’ll consider this bizarro cabinet #6. Bizarro cabinet #7 is that entire space behind that the bench. It weird because I’m 6 feet tall and I can really only reach about 30 percent of the cabinets. Plus, none of them stay closed on their own so they all have differing homemade latching systems. And regarding that crack in the concrete slab, the home inspector said it probably happened 30 years ago, so it’s nothing significant to worry about. I have no clue what the plan was with the duct tape.

Keep moving

Bike and board bag zone.

In all reality the garage looks like shit. But I spent a few college summers hanging drywall. I’ve built a cabin or two. I was in Americorps. Rebuilding this place it going to take no time at all. Plus I can have Poppa vR and American Broder help out. It will be easy-peasy. Yeah right.

But how about the yard?

Fun fact about the yard: When the place was first viewed, Wisconsin was mid-drought. The lawn was all fucking dead. However, just after moving in the rains returned and now I have a yard full of dandelions and weeds. Pretty typical being it hasn’t been maintained in a year and a half. The good news about the yard is that Momma vR and Jose are all about getting back there and gardening the shit out of it. I’m fine with that. I’m totally giving it a Japanese garden feel.

Why a Japanese garden you ask. Well, I already have the koi pond:

I’ll probably eventually put water in this thing, but right now it’s empty and littered with a collapsed tarp, dead leaves, cigarette butts and a vodka bottle. I’ll probably have to redo that stone work, but again I handled way bigger stone projects in Acorps. I did stone work in this place. Trained by real deal stone masons. Not a professional, but I can reset a wall. I can score and snap a few rocks.

Here’s more yard. And yes that is a damned swing set. I’m considering putting it on craigslist. If you want it, you can have it. Make me an offer and come get it out of my yard.

You’ve probably noticed the dojo going on in some of these pics as well. It’s a pretty slick screened-in area off the garage. I’m unsure how to use it effectively, but I’ll figure that out. It’s pretty cool.

The inside of the house is slick as well. First thing to tackle is having the floors redone. Right now the choices are between the natural color:

Or having it blown out with some cherry:

In other news, I think I’m booked for the next 15 years.

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3 Responses to “2012-61 August and Everything After or LOL Counting Crows”

  1. Andrew Hart says:

    Banger post. Has everything: sharp wit, “Bloggery isn’t for professionals. Leave it to us shitbags. We know how to make it work. Somewhat.”; new friends, fish friends, and pretty floors. Good to have you back.

  2. Lea says:

    I’m just neutral on this post.

  3. a says:

    your house looks great. I’d come visit, but for the life of me I can’t figure out when: either too hot or too cold.
    your house is in the wrong place.

    beertony lived in a crazy house with crazy cabinets. It’s cool.

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