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Mixed Mediums

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011

Whistler 23 days.

Since we’re probably all thinking about riding bikes by now, I’ll share this one  canadian Davey Ronalds directed me too. It’s fun.

A Hill in Spain from chris akrigg on Vimeo.

Is good right?

Oh, what’s that you say? Bikes aren’t your bag? Well you should probably check out this one then:

28 YEARS “That Ho” – Official Music Video from Wes Richardson on Vimeo.

I got this one from Goose and it’s probably the best thing he’s given me since a gmail invite.

NC repping hard in that, but the lens-less glasses is going too far. I see 2nd graders on those jawns at this point. You might as well be pushing some Court Forcers in the Daily Piff. Better yet, you call me and I’ll send you my winter meats, some beat old Peacocks.  You can get fresh with those.  Fucking glazzles without lenses. Next year you’ll be faking in wheelchair.

Assholes.

Lastly, promotional material or not, this is ths shittiest looking bee ever:

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Posted in Bike! | No Comments »

Valentine’s at the bike park

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

Yep, that’s what I did last night. Went to the bike park and fell off logs over and over until this happened:

Careful, that carbon fiber shit will tear you up. Anyway the trance was out of order, so I strolled over to the demo desk and asked if I could take a BigMX kind of thing. So they hooked me up with this:

That’s some prize Waterloo real estate. Granted I would’ve cut down the bars about  2 inches on each side, dropped that front brake and painted the muthafucker gold,  but  it was a fun ride. It was a little too fun. I don’t like the thoughts I’m having right now.

So I took it around the park then decided to bring it up to the pump track and sailed around until I was dizzy on this:

You see that pillar on the left, right there in the track. That’s some good times right there.  Given I’ve never ridden a pump track I was having a blast. Then I decided I should probably step it to the expert course. I figured I’ve been riding a two-wheeler for a few years now, why not?

Dumb.

I dropped three laps through there, struggling on the step-ups and all that rad stuff.

Then I ran into this son of a bitch:

In case you can’t figure it out, I’ve mapped my course:

As you can see, I thought it would be best to hit the wall. What you can’t see is that I was already falling when I hit the wall. I tried to catch myself with my left arm, but continued to fall and stretched the left flipper the wrong way. I kind of felt like I was going to vomit for a minute, but then got back out there. Because that’s the way you get better-ish. Right?

Moral of the Blog: Wall rides are for people who know what they are doing. And those dudes just standing there wear a lot of Fox gear.

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Posted in Bike! | 8 Comments »

NO B.S. or Garbage Like That

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

This is awesome because I’ve been thinking of getting out of the my BMX and into a fucking killer reptile.

I’m so fucking tempted to text him, just to get the pictures of the snake.

PS. If anyone wants me to text them pics of my snake, just let me know.

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Posted in Bike! | 5 Comments »

Let Us Recap the Blue Mounds Weekend

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

So you showed up here today looking for Trivia?  Tuff break. It’s on the delay this week. We gotta do some recappery from the weekend.

I took Saturday to blast over to Blue Mounds State Park because it’s supposedly a rad place to ride bikes. I also figured this would be a good opportunity to catch some lunch and talk shit with poppa vR. We hit the Grumpy Troll in Mt. Horeb. For anyone who’s never been to Mt Horeb, you should know that town fucking loves trolls. Their love for mythical, magical midgets is only surpassed by Iceland and elves. (Now you might want to talk for a minute, about the Irish and their leprechauns, but those are imaginary.) So yeah Trolls are huge over there. Trolls are to Mt. Horeb as beer is to Milwaukee.

Mt Horeb also loves being the home of Tyrol Basin. That’s some shred history right there. Iguchi. Sofa jib. ‘Tis an image that shall last for all times, ‘tis an image that is timeless. Plus it’s Iguchi.

FYI that picture was lifted directly from the Burton K-K-Kontain website, and prolly a J. Curtes photog. Double Wisco action!

After lunch I split over to Blue Mounds State Park.  This place is part of the Horribly Hilly Hundreds race, so there is a fair amount of climbing involved. PLUS the land is nothing but glacial remains with limestone all over the place to chew up your tires and your flesh.  I feel like I should also mention that it was HOT on Saturday. I mean, it was warm in Milwaukee, but somehow the SW part of Wisco is consistently 130 degrees hotter. So the first thing I did was start to sweat. I also stopped to slackberry some pics. I would have grabbed more, but it’s fall in Wisconsin they whole place looks like this:

Yeah the biking was really great. The trails are fun. While not technical, they are super fast-able and the rock out cropping do give you plenty of options for little drops. I’m going to have to get back there at least once this fall, and when I go back I’ve got to remember to trust the bike and just let it go.

After the bike-a-thon I stopped off to see Moefaniel and his boy Finnstaggin. The young buck is growing up fast. Holmes is already dropping bombs like “Da” and “Fizz.” And he’s got this mop of red hear that will melt all the ladies who dig on Shaun White but kind of find him repulsive as well. LADYKILLER.

I also tried to catch the Hater, but he wasn’t allowed to come outside and play.

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Posted in Bike!, snowboardering | 1 Comment »

Crystal MethRidge

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

When I’m not hitting brewers games, sweating booze, or looking for things women can put by their boobs, I’m usually biking or thinking about biking. Or talking about snowboardering gear. Speaking of which what is everyone riding this season?

I heard The Crystal Falcon is going head-to-toe burton from 2003. Looking forward to it.

Anyway, I use the term Mountain Biking rather loosely here in SE Wisco. But it’s still the best way to spend your summer months. The past couple weeks I’ve been dorking off at Crystal MethRidge.  In the Wintar this place is a ski area. And since all the rad-ass western mountain resorts have mountain biking so does this place. But as snowboarding in Wisconsin is to snowboarding at a real resort, so is biking in Wisconsin. That said behold the MethRidge:

I’m going to make it all the up this, and then all the way back down. A couple of times. It’s a good workout pedaling up. The traverses make it about 5x longer getting to the top, so that makes me feel more like I’ve accomplished something. Then at the top you can see all the way to the downtown Beer City.  What’s funny is that right now some dude is in his office downtown saying “ I can see all the way to Crystal MethRidge. Didn’t that place used to be a landfill?”

I’m still kind of hazy on the mtn biking scene in Milwaukee, so I might kick out some inaccurate information at anytime. I think I parked the Silver Spurt at the entrance to the Alpha Trails cruised through the woods for a few minutes before actually arriving at the Ridge. Then you pop out of the woods climb the hill, and drop down the backside. About halfway down the hill you can get on a gravel path to take  you over to a tight little wooded section that is rather Jurassic Park-ish, but with fewer velociraptors.

This trail kicks you back out onto the gravel trail that you can take back to the hills and you get to cruise the rest of the way down. Or you can skip the Isla Nubar shit and just go all the way down immediately. Then it’s back into the woods and heading back to the Alpha Trails.

Fuck that sounds sad. I cannot wait for Ray’s Bike Park to open up. I also need to start traveling with my bike because I’m getting bored with this hill being the steepest part of my ride.

Shut your summer mouth part #2

I moved into the autumn specs today .

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Posted in Bike! | 2 Comments »

Weekend Bike Accounts

Monday, August 30th, 2010

Finally, it hasn’t rained for a few days and the humidity has dropped a little, so the trails are starting to not be the mucky-muck. Saturday I made the quick trek out to the Alpha trails/ Crystal Methridge.

Twas Good.

WORBA was out there setting up for a race. So I got to rip trough their course for a while and get passed by dudes who were way faster than me. Whatever. Jocks.

In proper form, I didn’t get any photos. But I should mention that from the top of Crystal Methridge (which I’m pretty sure is an old garbage dump) you can see all the way to the bottom. Whoa.

Sunday I rode the small section of the river trails that is worth riding. If you try to do the whole loop you’re most likely spending more time carrying your bike over fallen trees. The best kind—too high to jump over, too low to slip under.

The floods ruined this trail. Trees down, trails washed away, garbage all over the place. and constant slop. I don’t mind a bit of mud, but at this point, I’m just looking for a dried out dusty trail. Plus, somehow the flood didn’t wash away the busted glass on the trials. I honestly believe there are 120 years of busted glass on some parts of the trails. I’m positive in 1900 kids would go down there and smash shit because Miller and Pabst were paying them $.01 for each busted bottle. It was there recycling program.

Fuck even 2000 years ago teenagers would go down there and bust up clay pots.

Now I bike over it all, and hope my tires survive.

Flood Damage:

The extent of the Milwaukee downhill circuit:

Apart from bikes I think we need to pass judgment on this track:

And don’t forget to get your asses to Schlitz Trivia at the Red Dot tonight.

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Posted in Bike! | 1 Comment »

This One Slipped By Me

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

I attended a Meeting of the Minds last night and Mike dropped this knowledge:

“Did you hear about this indoor mountain biking course they are opening in Milwaukee?”

Whatever bro. Whatthefuckever. I was tempted to tell him about a few simple things you need to know in life:

  • Virginia is for lovers.
  • Work from the outer-most fork in.
  • There ain’t no party like a west coast party.
  • Soylent Green is people.
  • Mountain bikes are for outside.

Then this morning Keylo drops this bomb on me:

I guess I was too wrapped up in things like trivia and trying to get Laura Hadar‘s phone number, and this one just slipped right by me. But you know, never late then never.

And at least now I have this thing to play with  when the joint opens up:

And please don’t comment on the toe clips. Thems is gone.

Big thanks to EDK for the handstand hand modelingmanship

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Posted in Bike! | 1 Comment »

Bike

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

Suburbanite extraordinaire, @goosefeather, and I were riding bikes a  for minute this weekend. Because we were checking out this circuit of trails near his house. The trail is kind of short and  could certainly use something to get your bike off the ground for a couple of seconds, but it was fast and incredibly tight in places.

Apparently some dude already built a KML or KLM or lufthansa or whatever page for it and you can see it here: Harley Woods Trail.

Later we were cleaning off the rigs and talking about how lame the suburbs are, he told me he was expected to weed the flowerbed in from of his house. I told him to hire some Canadiens to do that work.

Apart from that, I went to Ghicago and my growing-up friend LB made sure we all have fancy drinks.  It was great. She ever made sure we didn’t have to wait in line. She’s tip top. She also makes art that makes me think of Katamari Demachi.

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Posted in Bike! | 3 Comments »

Weekending

Friday, August 13th, 2010

I am merely hours away from NEW BIKE. I can hardly even wait on that shit. Here’s proof:

And for those of you who are still driving cars, like troglodytes, here’s a tip that came to me from the internet today:

IF YOU HAVEN’T HAD A DUI, YOU’VE NEVER EXPERIENCED TRUE HAPPINESS!

IF YOU HAVEN’T HAD A DUI, YOU’VE NEVER HAD A REAL DUI!

IF YOU HAVEN’T HAD A DUI, YOU’VE NEVER LICKED NECTAR OFF THE TEET OF LEOPARD.

IF YOU HAVEN’T HAD A DUI, YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY NEVER GRABBED LIFE BY THE REIGNS AND RIDDEN IT FOR SIX DAY INTO THE OPEN WEST WHERE YOU FOUND SOME WHORE, YOUNGER THAN SHE LOOKS BUT OLDER THAN THE DREAM THAT BROUGHT HER PEOPLE HERE, WITH WHOM YOU SETTLE DOWN AND START A FAMILY, JUST LIVING OFF THE LAND AND KEEPING THE SAVAGES AT BAY WHILE YOU LIVE OUT YOUR REMAINING YEARS, BECAUSE MUTHAFUCKER, THAT’S LIVING AND YOU AIN’T NEVER HAD THAT IS YOU HAVEN’T HAD A DUI.

WTFUck is that ad saying?

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Posted in Advertising, Bike! | 2 Comments »

Hollyshouldn’t have.

Monday, August 9th, 2010

I watched “The Limits of Control” last night. Well not the whole thing, I fell asleep several times throughout it’s run. And I get it, it’s a movie that is a study of movies that have already been made, and it’s study in color, and it’s a study of who we are as viewers. Whatever.

It wasn’t enjoyable. I like films the melt my mind a little bit, but I also want to enjoy them. I want to have some desire to dig deeper into the story. Fuck, I just want to care. I’m just going to toss this one onto Bill Murray’s insomnia correction collection. Ghostbusters 3 better get made pronto because I am growing weary of sleeping through Murray’s mature works.

Now, I’m not saying there is no space for non-mainstream cinema, but a few things have to be done.

  1. Make it interesting.
  2. Make it interesting.
  3. Make it interesting.
  4. Make it Korean.

And there it is. Movie making success in four easy steps. I bet those dudes who made The Waterhole hit at least three of points of advice.

Kind of reminds me of Wes Anderson movies and snowboard flicks. The premise is rad, and the music is going to be good, but until they start speeding those things up I’m going keep sleeping through them. Even the dudes over at the Dangerzone know what to do. They swoop in, drop some fucking shrad radness on you and get the fuck out. Plus when vids are under 10 minutes it’s way more acceptable to watch it whilst you are working. Of course ELud is the exception to this rule because I heard the dude watched the entire Ken Burns’ Civil War series while at work last week.

Then there is this sonsabitch, parking like he owns the place.

Actually, I think that is the most considerate parking I have ever seen in Milwaukee.

Trivia tonight, MFers. You should be there.

Also consider yourselves warned, the advent of a new bike is upon us.

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Posted in Bike!, I watch too much TV | No Comments »

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