After a year in the making The Questionable Cuisine Challenge ’10 finally went down.  The list of players was smaller than expected—but that’s cool, we now know who’s a real deal meal head.

I mean, where was Keef Love? Where was this broad? Where was GRShutters?

Not putting on seven pounds in an afternoon, that’s for sure.

Anyway Larsma, The Boss and I stacked it up properly. We kicked off the day at Speed Queen (or Speed Qween depending on what sign you were looking at). This place is legendary, and rightfully so. Fucking BBQ and ribs for as far as the eye can see. Some white folks were like, “Yo that is in a bad neighborhood, be careful.” For real this place is like a minute from downtown, hardly a shaky district.

The rulezizrulez of the games was that you had to get a meal at each stop. I started off here with a pulled pork combo. Larsma had pork as well, while The Boss went with beef, I put that shit down quick (or qwick)

If I had brought any common sense with me, I would have just eaten five meals here. The food was good. And you see how the coleslaw is leaking over, rubbin’ up on the bun? That’s all bonus.

NEXT up we rolled on to Jake’s Deli. Another classic Milwaukee eatery in a supposedly bad neighborhood. Okay, so this place might be rougher than the Speed Kween district, but whatever. I figure street crime is like the Amur Tiger—let it be and it won’t maul you.

This is when I got happy I didn’t just stay at Speed Queen. Mega meals here. Shit reminded me of that Katz’s joint in NYC, without Meg Ryan fauxgasming inside. None the less I’ll have what she’s having. Reuben time!

I probably should have held up a ruler for comparison, but believe me, that’s a mean $10 deli masterpiece. Also the pickle was eaten. At this stop The Boss had this ridiculous pastrami, and I can’t remember what Larsma had. But she upped it by grabbing a Pepsi as well. 150 Calorie BONUS!

After this we had longer commute to Stop #3. Before shit went foul.

Something that looks like this is never a good idea. This is where the sickness starts to set in. We walk in and they’ve got like 30 different menus, and given the day’s adventure the most palatable item looked like a 4-piece and potato wedges meal. The outlook was bleak. Then we were told they have an entire sit-down joint connected to it, so we moved into there. On the sit-down menu they thankfully had a 1-piece, potato and coleslaw combo that we all grabbed. Still the potatoes were instant and I may have eaten a chunk of still-dry potato flakes.

None-the-less we persevered. Except Larsma she couldn’t finish her chicken at this place.

Pit stop for a digestif:

After this, it was on to Golden Chicken. The previous chicken meal was broasted and the eats in this joint was straight up deep fried. I don’t even remember the last time I had fried chicken, it’s just not something that works it’s way into my diet. So I was already kind of grossed out and feeling a bit tilted. The Golden Chicken meal was a 2-piece with coleslaw, fries and a roll.

As you can see I oped for a bottled water here. Also note that the roll is super dry. Alove might even claim that roll to be “dry-eez.” And I have never seen a bite as angry as the one The Boss took from his roll. Also note that those fries were the worst fries I’ve ever had. Also note that in this photo you can’t see that Golden Chicken sells an ass load of lotto tickets and is connected to a check cashing place. You do the math.

Things are not good by this point. We had kind of settled into a delirium and  made our way to NYPD. That’s New York Pizza Delivery for those not in the know.

By this point we’d all had enough and considered it fair game when we saw they had shakes and malts on the menu. It was dessert time.

But don’t think we got off light. Those were some thick-ass malts, and really, after the meals we’d just consumed a truckload of dairy is not what the human gut needs. But they were all finished, as was the QCC.

ps. Next year it’s going to be an all-gyro or all-pizza theme. It will probably be shittier.