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2012-12: Meanwhile, Back at the Office

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

1th-PhotodumpThis was our rental ride. Kind of excessive. And we kind of abused it, but it was a pretty cush ride. Mega-global warming going on here. It cost me $17 to drive from Frisco to DIA. It also reminded me how much XM radio sucks asses.

Mandatory picture of the window licking bear at the convention center. I’m actually kind of a fan of this piece of art. It’s neat.

This is my boss getting down with a SpiritHood that we are supposed to be product testing. In case you couldn’t tell we are in the Anon booth. They have some ridiculous M1 goggles coming out next year. Magenetic snap-in/snap-out  lens changery. I’m curious about how hard I will have to fall to bust them loose.

This is probably my favorite Capita board for next year, although the entire fucking line is sick. Always is, to be honest. How you gonna go wrong with a woman with fangs and a pentagram on her head. Feels like a winner to me. I was all stoked to ride one on Monday, January 30th when Bloggerman, WWD, told me No media rides. Then, hours later, this floats through my twitter trough: REJECTED!

This was the saddest lunch ever.

Boss lady again. Tired, frustrated and hiding out. But hey, TRice is now riding for hOme watches!

I was at the Shag Lounge in downtown Denver, and I saw this Schlitz piece, so I ordered a Tall Boy of Schlitz. I was told they didn’t have it. WTF?

Everyone’s favorite brand: TheHundred

Then later in the evening when you hit up a friend regarding your location and this is the reply, you gotta call bullshitz. FACTS: We were in Denver, bru, in January, it was like 3 in the morning. And that is some summer, morning lighting if I’ve ever seen it. You can’t just drop these on someone and pretend they’re real-time. Up the game, friend.

This is dude is a radder. Non-stopper. As for that bandaner, that was on a stripper moments before this pic was taken. It was also not appreciated by the Banditos Motorcycle Club, who were also in the place.

This is where the trip went soft for me. In Boulder, touring a fake tea factory. This was tea bag dress is in the main lobby and nearly the highlight of the tour, until Tali started laughing at the “Teabagging Station. ” To be fair you need to picture the ridiculous Celestial Seasonings bear just dangling his balls over the Morning Thunder buffalison. Plop plop!

I did eventually  go snowboarding. I was riding Salomon boards the whole time because I was cockblocked at Capita. I always forget how fucking fast  and snappy their boards are. Their new bindings were kind of okay. Plus, I could ride their boards switch, I guess that counts for some reason. Here’s what I liked #1 The Man’s Board: Because it had juggs on it #2 The Salomonder: Because it had hardwood basketball court graphixxx #3 the Villian: Probably a better ride than the Salomonder, but the graphixxx weren’t as rad.I’m just going to assume that the person who produces these stickers doesn’t have a super mega-energy drink contract.

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Posted in Akshin sports, snowboardering | 1 Comment »

Things Just Get Weird

Monday, January 30th, 2012

This is the crew I get to run with.

I’ve been doing the Yobeat thing over the past few days.  It’s been wicked fun.  Serious hilarity every twelve seconds. You should probably read about the weekend over on the site.

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Posted in Akshin sports, snowboardering | No Comments »

2012-8: Return of THA DON

Thursday, January 19th, 2012

Hey Guys, Look who’s back! It’s Simon and JP getting gnarly and supa-wicked.

Now, just so we are all on the same train here, I’ve never been a huge fan of JP or Simon. I don’t doubt they’re riding skillzz, it’s more that I’m just not feeling their approach. Plus JP openly likes to be called “The Don,” which is some tacky-ass shit.

So I found this nugget of interesting, dropped over on the MODA3 blog:

They are releasing a trailer for a web series that won’t be out in until next season. They have named the series Absolute Jibberish, which ranks pretty high on the Frank-Lupus Hackocity Scale. It earned the kind of ranking that kept me from naming this blog Kenny Bloggins or We B Log Together.

Then again this is the industry that continues to give us:

  • Premature Jibulation
  • Jibassic Park
  • PB and Rail Jam
  • Torah Bright

But back to what we’re really looking at here. We’ve got a trailer for a web series that comes out next season. The trailer shows JP and Simon hangering out together. Blobviously they are snowboardering around. So why they fuck are the already not producing episodes of this web series? People are barely willing to wait to see real shred flicks, what makes these two think people will wait more than 3 minutes for this web series. There are 100 crews out there nailing rails and performing jibbery ever day. And tonight someone from their crew is going to go home, edit the “stacked footy”, pirate some song, put it all together and get it up on Yobeat. Sure they aren’t all amazing, but look what the Tahoe Dangerzone Crew did—ridiculous riding, insane-o concepts and all of it up within days of it getting shot.

A teaser for a web series is going about it all wrong, but then again my dad thinks twitter is stupid as well. Whatever.

YAY JIBBERISH!

Bonus: What the fuck was with Gator II’s incredibly normal appearance on Conan the other night?

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Posted in Akshin sports, snowboardering | 1 Comment »

2012-6: In which we discuss animals, humans and gods

Monday, January 16th, 2012

We’re gonna start today off with a few questions

1.     How does a dog that size create such massive craps?
2.     Are you ready to hear a story about the majesty of nature? I hope so, because it’s gonna end up like Wild America in this section.
3.     People I know.
4.     People I would like to know.
5.     WTF Kiera Knightly?
6.     BONUS! JESUS.

(Colin) 1th: Dumps like a truck truck truck

I am currently in the practice of dog-sitting. This is new to me. And there are a few things I need to lay out. I find it hard to respect a dog named for a Lioness. A tiger maybe. I mean a fucking tiger is a killing machine. But a lioness? I’ll sit a top a Range Rover and land headshots on a lioness and her cubs all day. Then I’ll bring them home illegally and get them taxidermed into a anthropomorphic setting of a family of lions getting ready to go to church on a Sunday morning. The mother wearing an apron, cooking up gazelle bacon, and all the cubs in their Sunday dork clothes, sitting around the table. To display such a huge piece of kinked out nature porn I would probably get a new place. Or put it in a storage locker, until I forget about and 3 years later Darrell bids on it early because he sees the wow factor in such a set up. Dave Hester would bid the bitch up high because Dave would know the value of some poached and taxidermed lions. But ultimately it would go to Barry because that dude knows some weird shit when he sees it. This is pretty much why you give a dog a proper dog name.

Also, this dog takes the massivest dumps. Human sized. And I have to pick them up. It’s awesome.

2st: Mild Awareica

I was recently in a city. And in that city was a building. And in that building there was a second floor landing. And on the second floor landing was the most majestic painting of two bald iggles ever seen outside of Brackendale, B.C. It was powerful.

So I turn to C-blast and ask her to snap a pic of it and send it to me, as my phone is out of battery powers. She did. Snapped and sent. Then she deleted it. What an asshole! Now I cannot share this majesty with you. You all feel cheated.

You wanna talk more about Animals? I can do that. Just dig on this.

The SIA meeting emails are rolling in and I’m not sure who I am looking forward to speaking with the most, but something tells me this is high on my list:

I hope they let me demo one.

3nd: People I know

When I was not looking at majestic avian images this weekend, I was turning screws and helping my homey Keef hand snowboards to people. I really thought I was beyond that phase in my life, but I guess not. It was wicked fun and I got a few runs in myself.

Plus Poco, Hans G and PlanetJakerzz stopped by to talk shit. That can make most days pretty rad.

4rd: People I wish I knew:

This is a list of names of people I wish I new:

·     Roger Steambreath

·     Michael Goldfronts

·     Les Jailface

·     Coffeepot Jones

·     Pull Thunderton

·     Steven Filthcramp

·     Kjersti Buaas

·     Pickles French

·     Seaver Cloggs

·     Boushh

5st: Kiera Knightley in a low-cut dress

Why the fuck does Kiera Knightley only act in steampunk movies? Does she hate the modern era? Is it that she really isn’t that good and relies on over-the-top costume work to carry her? For real, check out this IMDB list.

I don’t know why I am even concerned with this.

6nd: Bonus

Get with it: Actor, Models and Talent for Christ.

A few things to cover here, starting with “CSO, chief serving officer.” Listen up. If was going to dedicate my life to modeling, acting of talenting for the jesus prints, I would want someone with connections and business acumen. Not someone who re-titles himself or herself into a submissive roll. Also she is a “late-in-life committed christian” which pretty much means she cannot be held accountable for hanging out with gay men, doing drugs, or the like 100s of dicks she has put in her mouth/vagina/anus. We can’t blame her because jesus hadn’t spoken to her yet. No no no. I cannot handle the sham that is “late-in christianity.”

Lastly their contact number is 800-STAR-420. This is all a joke right?

Fuck it. I can’t handle the sham that is christianity.

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Posted in Madison Anti-Boredom Campaign, religion, snowboardering | 2 Comments »

2012-4: The 99% Avoidance Weekend

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

Remember when I recently told you I was going to Utah? The trip went off, as was expected. The snow cover was thin and snowsharks were feeding. One of the crewmembers had his base bitten, but for the most part we made it out unscathed. But enough of the overview, lets get into the facts.

Friday:

  • Arrive at the the aeropuerto at 6am, check-in and stand in the security line for 55 minutes. Explain to security why I am carrying two microphones, a grip of wires and an envelope that read “Dossier: SLC—99% Avoidance Weekend”.
  • Immediately miss my flight.
  • Get on a flight to Baltimore, which is a route I have never considered whenst traveling to Utah.
  • Miss planned layover meet-up with Sister Figure #2.
  • Arrive in Salt Lake City. Stand outside waiting for Mofaniel for 45 minutes. Assuming that every person who walks by is LDS, I hold tight to my wallet.
  • Go to In and Out Burger. Animal Style the fuck out of everything.
  • Decide Animal Style isn’t my bag.
  • Moefaniel gets us lost.
  • Arrive at the Park City HQ after dark and have drinks.
  • Take three runs at PCMR and call it a successful day.
  • Mofaniel claims he has some magical spell to turn people into living room furniture.
  • Go to a bar that is hosting an 80s party, Assume this is what skiers are like at all times.
  • Go to another bar and misidentify a Mother Love Bone song as a Mad Season song. Talk about what a great bassist Chris Cornell was before his death.
  • Walk home and go to sleep on a couch. Proper vacation style.

Saturday:

  • Wake up convinced there is dynamite in my brain.
  • Check my wallet to be sure the LDSers hadn’t gotten a hold of it.
  • Stretch for like 5 seconds and get dressed to ride snowboards.
  • Travel to The Canyons and ride snowboards.
  • Do a jump.
  • Think about what hurts worse, my head or my right hip/ass region, which I jacked up a few weeks ago.
  • Throw a handful of pills down my throat
  • Drink whisky.
  • Head to Banditos and met A Love aka The End Zed. He does not speak as oddly as I had hoped. Go home.
  • Consider going to strip club but figure the garments would ruin everything.
  • Achieve a respectable amount of sleep in a bed with a short, bald man.

Sunday:

  • Arise walk to the coffee shop, where I buy coffee only for myself, neglecting the other 6 people staying in the condo.
  • Head back to The Canyons and meet up with End Zed and his dude Jason who can rips some shits and has a thing for needles.
  • Ride park all damn day with this dude:

  • Had a very tasty bowl of chili for lunch before going back out and regretting the tasty bowl of chili.
  • Ran a suitcase method train at the end of the day.
  • Ride home in this car:

  • Which seems to have a tendency to run over cones in parking lots and pumping some Meredith Brooks. You know the track.

Sunday night:

  • Head to Baja Cantina where Rachel is our server. Order like 25-30 sugar-loaded margaritas. At some point over the hour we were there, we found out that Rachel was Park City born and raised and had never once seen a poor person. She tried to defend herself by claiming that her family had lived in Park City for like 150 years. This had me convinced she was the scion of a fringe LDS family and only after my wallet. I openly accuse her of this.
  • Run out of the bar to vomit out some sugar. I do this in front of a women with like 8 kids. She seemed really unimpressed. I could tell by the way she looked at me so disapprovingly and thanked me. I only assume the children were all hers and she hadn’t yet read the chapter in the book of LDS Fortunes that foretold the coming of the “sloth-like man who would vomit over a rail into a car park, before vomiting every 15 feet as he strolled through the surface lot, then again in the street in front of his rented condo and finally to more time off the balcony and on to Mofaniel’s rental car.”

Monday:

  • Wake up, stretch, ride Park City.
  • Rip groomers hoping the haze finally comes off my brain.
  • Stop at Cobra Dogs, where fellow Yobeater, Tom from Maine, put together the greatest breakfast ever*:

  • Jump back to the condo and then to the airport and back to my own bed at 2am. Finally able to relax the death grip I’ve had to keep on my wallet all weekend.

Not a bad weekend

THE FOOTNOTE

* If you are visiting Park City and opt not to go to Cobra Dogs, you’re blowing it. I know I have done absolutely zero things in the past three years to gain your trust or respect, but believe this: Cobra Dogs is the legitimist. I’m not a big fan of Dogs, and I know it’s street food usually reserved for the common man, but this is so much more. The wiener is good, the toppings are super tasty, the bun even adds to the eats. If this wasn’t the best hot dog I’ve ever tossed down my hallway I wouldn’t be going on about it. But fear not and eat up, they’ve got a really great thing going on there.  When I go back to PC, I suspect I may eat there every day.

Shay’s Rumorator’s honesty box: I was comped my Cobra Dog, but did pay for my beer.

Regarding the beer: It’s was 3.2% PBR, so please don’t comment on my choice to have it at 11 in the morning. it’s essentially like drinking orange juice, but taste better when you use it to brush your teeth.

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Posted in religion, snowboardering | 2 Comments »

2012-1

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Happy New Year!
Whoo-hoo!
Okay, now can-it and let’s get to work here. We’ve got things to cover:

1th
Utah in 4 days. I got $5 that says I get no more than 9 runs in, over 3 days. Last time I was in Park City people were telling me what a horrible year it was. That was six years ago. This year people are saying “No really, this is the worst year ever.” I’ve seen this before, Jackson Hole in 1998 and again in 2004. Worst years ever.

Anyway, if you need me from Friday–Monday I will be camped out at CobraDogs.

2st
There was a mini QCC ‘leven thrown down. It was just me and Chip. And it involved Ashley’s and JJ’s Fish and Chicken.

Ashley’s: Located at 15rd and Center, people have been talking about this place being more legit than Speed Kween, which seems to be a point of contention. So we went. Parked the Silver Spurt and walked in. The interior is void of any seating, except for like 3 chairs against the wall. There  was also Mortal Combat II, Ms Pac Man, some zombie shooting game, and a couple of unplugged video poker machines. The entire customer area was about 300sq. ft. and somehow they claim to run weekend buffets in this joint.

There were several menus, but none of them had pricing on them. One menu featured “Rack of Ribs” (no pricing), so I stepped to woman behind the bulletproof glass.
“I’ll have the rack of ribs?” that question mark represents the uncertainty of what I was getting myself into.
“Beans and slaw?”
“What?”
“YOU WANT THE BEANS AND SLAW?”
“Yeah.”
“AND?”
“A soda…a mountain dew I guess.”
“$19.89”

Shit.
JJ’s: The meal from JJ’s was catfish nuggets, salt, fries, salt and chicken wings with salt. It was like $9 with the salt and a free grape soda.

We went back to Co-host’s joint to eat this mess. The ribs from Ashley’s were stacked like 3 levelles deep and came with 4 pieces of white bread. The ribs were pretty damn tasty. The slaw wasn’t worth putting in my mouth. And the beans, while they looked unappealing they were okay, but not good enough to put in my quickly filling gut.

Moving into the JJ’s meal, Chip had warned me that the fries sucked balls and there may be bones in the catfish nuggets. After one bite of everything we began discussing the finer points of JJ’s triple salting process. That was basically the highlight of JJ’s. That was seriously the saltiest food I have ever consumed. Even when my parents were in their hippie phase and we had goats with salt blocks to lick and my older brother made me lick that salt block, I was thinking, “This is salty, but someday I will eat at a place called JJ’s and it will be way saltier.”

In the end I was a little bummed out. I wanted JJ’s to be good. I wanted it to be this gem that everyone just drives past and assumes if a crappy place to eat [Eddie Vedder voice] even though [/Eddie Vedder voice] it’s amazing. But nope, it’s just a crappy place to get salty food. The mural inside is shitty too.

Ashley’s on the other hand it worth going back to. So solid. Just don’t get the full rack of ribs.

3nd
I was in the middle of bagging on these books, when someone told me how good they were. I really don’t believe them, but it made me feel like an asshole.

Whatever. I judge these books by their covers, but more by their shitty titles.

4st
I drove over my snowboard, and I really working on those lip slides.

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Posted in A Very Special Rumorator, Madison Anti-Boredom Campaign, snowboardering | No Comments »

Gatoring

Monday, December 5th, 2011

Hey kids, you wanna buy some naked pics of that snowboarder?

I have said it before and I will say it again: Sean Blanco is the next Gator. That blond is lucky she hasn’t been discovered stuffed in a surfboard sack and dumped behind the Burton Store in NYC. Then again she hasn’t been identified, so she could well be missing.

I also like the report that Senor Blanco was all like “C’mon guys, I’m a gold medalist. Erase those pics or Target is going to get pissed. C’mon guys, erase those pics, or I’ll dump your body with hers. C’mon guys please.”

They he turned to the unnamed blond and demanded $89,000 just for showing up in her vagina.

Meanwhile all the photosnappers were like, “Totally, Sean. Totally erased.”

Yeah right, YEAH RIGHT. The “it’s erased” line is just a reflex lie at this point. Like “No, I wasn’t sleeping” or  “I only had two girl scout cookies”, ” or “Oh yeah I’ve been with tons of womens.” I remember lying to Lizzo from writing class about those pics being erased. And they were, after we copied them on to like ten computers. Those were the hottest 1.2 Megapixels images ever. But really “it’s erased” was first muttered 7 seconds after digital cameras were invented. It would have been sooner but those early cameras took forever to process anything.

Masticating factor: Shawn White is irrelevant to snowboarding.

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Posted in Akshin sports, snowboardering | No Comments »

English Lessons

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

1rd

It happens every so often that snowboarding (the media, the industry, or even the act itself) tries to convince us that there is something going on in the UK. I’m pretty sure the powers that be over there are were thinking, “well I guess it’s time to make another run at this snowboarding game.” I mean it must kill them to think snowboarding is just one more thing the Scandinavians are better than them at doing. Add it to the list:

• Exploration without wiping out autochthonous culture.
• Fjords
• Fjolklore
• Automobile manufacturing
• Church burning
• And now snowboarding too

They’ve tried quite hard to convince us UK shredding was real. They have magazines about it. They have Matt Barr. And it only makes sense. In the grand “Keep Snowboarding Rich and White” theme, of course the UKers would be involved somehow. Those MFers know racism and classism. You would know this if ever listened to an album from the Streets, or watched Precious: A movie based on the novel Push, by Sapphire. Stay focused on the shred though. Really the only rider out of the UK with staying power has been Jenny Jones.

Then I did a little research and found out she is only #3 in the realm of UK shredlegends. I was looking down the list, not recognizing any names until I came to The Real Jenny Jones. I was thinking, “Who the fuck could possibly be bigger?” Part of me was convinced they were going to claim Terry Hawkenson as their own.

Instead I’m confronted by Steve Bailey in #2. I remember that dude. On the Division 23 team. Blasting monster shifties and rocking chain wallets and maybe white dreads if I remember correctly. Oh shit, that was Steve Blakely. I was way off. I have no clue who #2 nor #1 is.

But this latest push is crazy. They send over Jamie Nicholls to win some rail jam in Tokyo. This dude was raised on dry slopes. He’s never actually been on real snow. I imagine he was like the tour guide I in had in Hawaii asking what snow was like. “Can your animals go outside in it?” It must have blown his mind to have to wear a jacket and snow specific pants. WHAT ARE THESE THINGS I AM SLIPPING OVER MY HANDS? GLUVS? Then again, he probably just associated it with Japan. That place is wacky.

Really though, the kid rips.

2st

Fun fact: Jamie Nicholls is represented by Octagon. I wonder if the people at Octagon feel cheated whenever they see the previews for the ABC show Revenge. I like the idea of Octagon-ers thinking, “Those MFers just heisted our “8 as G” motif. And they’re using a serif font as well.”

To make matters worse that show looks like a crap hybrid of The Fugitive and Desperate Housewives. Blah blah blah strong female lead. Whatever. It supposedly takes place in the Hamptons, but there is a serious lack of talk about the hard luck that has fallen on the fishermen. No talk about how they can’t sell no stripers. No luck in swordfishing out there.

3th
Small business Saturday. At first I was not backing this at all. Some fucking corporate propagated do-gooderism-autofellatio. But then I found out my local shop, MODA3, was involved. I still think it’s corporate crap, but if there is a way I can take advantage of it, I’m going to. It works like this.

1. Register your American Express card. Just do it. They know everything you spend money on already, so why not take advantage of this little perk.
2. Buy a new tee-shirt or beanie or whatever it is you’re aching for, but spend $25 and toss a little money at one of the raddest shred and streetwear shops in the Midwest. Fuck it, they might be the raddest. PERIOD!
3. Get a $25 credit from Amex. SNAPPED! Free t-shirt or beanie or 420kit or just $25 off those killer Stussy vests.

Still corpo to fuckall, but at least you can support a good shop. So whatever I guess.
Laterzzzz.

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Posted in Akshin sports, Milwaukee Radification Project., snowboardering | 2 Comments »

Shradtalk Times

Thursday, November 17th, 2011

Mega shrad in the news this week. So lets make sure we got it correct.

1. Putting the FIS in fisting, or Ski Down

I was pretty sure this was settle in nine-ocho when Terje was like “Olympics, yeah, I’m not doing that dude.” But then we had Ross Power doing monster amplitude methods and we all kinda looked the way. Then suddenly  it was 12 years later and Sean Blanco was claiming quad-corks and such. But the big this was that every one kinda forgot Snowboarding in the olympics was run by skiers.

Now that dark secret is back in the spotlight. The FIS has decided they know how to host slopestyle events. Nevermind the fact the a organization run by snowboarders, with experience hosting, ranking and judging contests was totally willing to work with them to make sure slopestyle wasn’t 100% worthless when it landed in the world stage. But off course the skiers said, “Fuck off.”

Now there seems to be a boycott brewing. I’m curious to see how this plays out. However it goes down, the key to remember is that skiers are dumb and you can never trust them.

2rd: Skiing up

There’s a lot of noise getting made by splitboarders right now. These dudes. Please.

Flawsyfiles is all about it. My friend Moefaniel is all about it. These dudes are telling me about getting out there, “earning turns”  and speaking all these other hippie idioms. Meanwhile all I can think is “Bru, they made chairlifts for a reason. Bru, there are no handrails in the world of splittery. Bru, you got Voiles?”

Lets go over some other reasons that make splittering ridiculous:

  • Where are the fine as bitchezzz?
  • Where is the jocko dude in a turtleneck who brings me my beers?
  • I feel like a dick just tossing all these cigarette butts all over nature. That is really an additional level of guilt I don’t need.
  • Those boards are friggin heavy.
  • It’s still half skiing.

Oh and then there is this:

Which is pretty much this:

Which is pretty much this:

Sillykins.

3th: Fuck this

I need one more person in my twitter trough to hype this thing.

Probably not so good on the uphill.

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Posted in snowboardering | 1 Comment »

El Dia De Los Muertos

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Chapter 1: WINTAR

Seriously, where is this shit? Both coasts are getting hit. First it was the Tahoesies and Cololame-os getting some, and then UMS became CMS in a wicked blast of winter weather. SHOUT OUT TO NAT V!

Where the shit is my wintar weather?

Maybe this is for the best. I still need to find some boots. Actually, I don’t even need to find boots I just need to get them or something. Salomon Fdueceduece, where you at?

On the other hand, I got the winter ride ready to go. Just need to pop on the  studded tires and fenders. But this did happen over the weekend:

I don’t even know where those GT toestraps came from. Clay Davis says “Sheeeeeeit.” Just a pile of parts, all stripped off.

But now, $100 in,  I’ve got this:

Clearly, I still need to peel off some stickers and all,  but it’s pretty much theft-deterred right now. I say that but someday I’ll come to find my radio missing and battery gone. Ahhh…not really. I’ve got indoor bike parking at home and at the office. This is just how Madison rolls. How are you not going to have indoor bike parking?

Seriously, I don’t even lock that shit up. Just lean it against the rack. It’s like Micheal Moore’s Canada up here. Plus we can carry guns now, so there’s that.

In other news I have no trivia on Tuesday nights anymore, so that has me lost. I’m lost-aez bru.

capítulo uno: papá

Twas  poppa vRs birthday on the 26th. I missed it. I’m a horrible son. So Imma let him buy me dinner tonight to make up for it.

פרק אחד

Also, it was halloween. The greatest thing I saw, apart from Murs making raps, was a panda, sans head, getting real raw with a slutty nurse on the dance floor (street, as the concert was outside). I should also note the slutty nurse was wearing the missing panda head. It was fucking amazing. I want to go back in time, take acid and watch it all over again. Of course if the  was the case I would also go back in time and stop freshman-in-college Rumorator from getting down with like 4 of the first 5 girls I got down with. Just pull him aside and let him know, “It gets better, kid. Your gonna stop wearing those Phish shirts soon, and watch what you’re drinking, you’re getting college fat.”

Dan Savage could have had an “It gets better” campaign for me regarding the women I surrounded myself with. Shudder.

I also would then say “Listen to this  album with a candle burning and you’ll see your entire future,” just before handing past-me a copy of Dr. Octagon’s The Octogonecologyst.

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Posted in Bike!, Madison Anti-Boredom Campaign, snowboardering | 1 Comment »

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