Archive for the ‘snowboardering’ Category

El Dia De Los Muertos

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Chapter 1: WINTAR

Seriously, where is this shit? Both coasts are getting hit. First it was the Tahoesies and Cololame-os getting some, and then UMS became CMS in a wicked blast of winter weather. SHOUT OUT TO NAT V!

Where the shit is my wintar weather?

Maybe this is for the best. I still need to find some boots. Actually, I don’t even need to find boots I just need to get them or something. Salomon Fdueceduece, where you at?

On the other hand, I got the winter ride ready to go. Just need to pop on the  studded tires and fenders. But this did happen over the weekend:

I don’t even know where those GT toestraps came from. Clay Davis says “Sheeeeeeit.” Just a pile of parts, all stripped off.

But now, $100 in,  I’ve got this:

Clearly, I still need to peel off some stickers and all,  but it’s pretty much theft-deterred right now. I say that but someday I’ll come to find my radio missing and battery gone. Ahhh…not really. I’ve got indoor bike parking at home and at the office. This is just how Madison rolls. How are you not going to have indoor bike parking?

Seriously, I don’t even lock that shit up. Just lean it against the rack. It’s like Micheal Moore’s Canada up here. Plus we can carry guns now, so there’s that.

In other news I have no trivia on Tuesday nights anymore, so that has me lost. I’m lost-aez bru.

capítulo uno: papá

Twas  poppa vRs birthday on the 26th. I missed it. I’m a horrible son. So Imma let him buy me dinner tonight to make up for it.

פרק אחד

Also, it was halloween. The greatest thing I saw, apart from Murs making raps, was a panda, sans head, getting real raw with a slutty nurse on the dance floor (street, as the concert was outside). I should also note the slutty nurse was wearing the missing panda head. It was fucking amazing. I want to go back in time, take acid and watch it all over again. Of course if the  was the case I would also go back in time and stop freshman-in-college Rumorator from getting down with like 4 of the first 5 girls I got down with. Just pull him aside and let him know, “It gets better, kid. Your gonna stop wearing those Phish shirts soon, and watch what you’re drinking, you’re getting college fat.”

Dan Savage could have had an “It gets better” campaign for me regarding the women I surrounded myself with. Shudder.

I also would then say “Listen to this  album with a candle burning and you’ll see your entire future,” just before handing past-me a copy of Dr. Octagon’s The Octogonecologyst.

Murakami Day aka How you gonna not get down?

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

I can only assume you felt it when you woke up today. Perhaps your alarm was less alarming, or the water in the shower was not as wet. But something had changed. This is what happens on Murakami day. Things are different. Things are softer. You understand that something is askew, but you move forward.

1Q84 hits books stores today. Or Kindles if you’re one of those. I hope all of you Kindle/Nook schnooks forget how amazing books are. Need proof? Dig it:

A couple of things come out of this.

One: It’s so rad to finally know how to properly pronounce Knopf. And it even radder to see that they are willing to put this kind of work into a book cover. You aint getting this in trade paperback. Fuck No. Hardcover first edition. I’m buying two and keeping one deadstock. Sneakerheads is flipping in five years when I show ‘em my collection and don’t even let ‘em open the cover on the Murakami. Trust me, the words is in there.

Two: Two moons, of course. WHY THE FUCK NOT? For real. Sure you can charm some college girl’s funderoos down to the ankles with talk about anglish, but it’s time to grow up and get real world. This is “I should have won the Nobel Prize in literature” right here. So naturally we have two moons. And I take it in stride. Fuck it, it’s real life.

Whoa, I’m kind of exhausted and have half-wood after that.

I should also note, you need to be supporting your local bookstores on something like this. I will be picking up my copies of 1Q84 at Boswell Books in Milwaukee, mostly because Madison doesn’t have shit for local bookstores downtown. Tons of used book stores and a feminist bookstore, but nothing that just sells books. Niche marketing to the maxxx.

Not even an anarchist bookstore, who cooks for you, who cooks for you?

Los Dedos Doblar

You guys wanna go traTIMEveling?
Cool, then lets take it back to ’98 for a minute. You remember that year? Dub Brand Outerwear jackets? With that hood that rolled into the collar and like 500 branding hits all over them? Backyard snowboarding? Damn those days were the shits.

Seriously what year is this?

Arnette is rolling up again. And they got Del at the helm. Shit, my high school self is going wild on the inside. Next up, I’m gonna try and charm my way into some girls pants by talking about raps and snowboards and books (protip: this never works it. It never has. It never will. Just get some vodka instead).

In reality those is some good looking specs. I should try to score up some of those. I wonder if they fit cabezas gigantes?

Here’s more of a run down.

Weekbegin

Monday, October 17th, 2011

1rd: Why the devil should choose snowboarding for his work

If you’ve been hanging in my immediate sphere, you’re gonnaknow I’ve been knuckle deep in a Faith No More kick lately. And naturally that spilled over into some Mr Bungle action. In fact i was out riding the bike over the weekend and I had this running through my head the whole time:

AND recently I was scoping out some Salomon boots and shrad decks and I stumbled upon this sweet rig:

Which is some Mr. Bungle shit going on.

In all actuality I don’t know where this art originated, but this is some shit-piss appropriation. There is no way this concept ran through more that 3 people without one of them saying “Oh, that’s some Mr. Bungle back cover shit.” Because people know this. It lives deep in the human subconscious. Like the need for water or a Lucky Strikes period.

Then because it’s snowboarding, they fucked it. Granted the Salomonder is cropped much closer, but they still completely eliminated the devil. Perhaps this is strictly a design issue, but I think it has a lot more to do with the pro-jesusness that is all over the snowboarding scene. Gross.

But yeah, Mr. Bungle. Righteous.

2rd: I bought a jump rope

I’ve been getting down with it. You know, double dutch.

3st: It was funny

Anna Faris was on SNL. I watched it. I laughed my ass off.

4rd Bikery

Shredded some bike trails this weekend. It was rad. Kept a healthy pace over 18 miles.  Bike bike season is winding down. Got the  winter bike in the basement waiting to get readied. I’ve got some wrenches to turn.

5rd Son of a bitch, They know me!


WTFriday

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Beginning:

Murakami was robbed. I’m calling preferential Scanner treatments. Dynamite prize could have gone to the man who gave us this:

Instead we get this this dude:

Segway:

You see how that worked:

So yeah, Steve Jobs. Johnny Apple himself. Tough break for sure. The guy totally knew how to market the fuck outta something. But let’s not forget how exclusive and proprietary Apple has been.  And the measure of the man is something to be discussed. Billy Gates drops millions of dollars all around the world trying to solve problems and is still a nerd-monster. Johnny Apple, cuts all philanthropic giving by Apple, pretty much redefined planned obsolescence, and gets treated as a god.

Did he do a lot to make computers easier to use? Yes. Did his company dominate the media-delivery landscape over the past decade? Yes.  But he was a capitalist, that was his goal.

People keep saying that he will go down in the books next to Ford and Edison. But, please remember that Henry Ford pretty much found his workers expendable and Edison was a patent thief.

Shayve’s Honestly box: I’m typing this on a Mac at my office. My home is run by a MacBook, MacBook Pro, a Mac Mini and a G tower. I prefer the Mac Platform. They are great computers. Jobs had some amazing insight. In the end he has given me nothing, but he has sold me a lot of things.

Wrap it up:

This year’s snowboardering costume:

Consuming!

Ummm…Things you play with…Robin Williams’ movies…

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Today we’re talking about toys. No dude, we’re talking serious toys. Not that weird, stainless steel, egg-shaped thing that girl I dated college wanted me to stick up my ass to stimulate my prostate. But now that I think about it, that was a pretty serious toy. More serious than my relationship with the girl, which lasted for almost a complete three-day weekend.

1rd
So lets get into it shall we. Check this bitch out:

We’ve got LEGO Fett, LEGO Boskk, a LEGO version of Solo, alive and in perfect hibernation. Plus, Slave One with an unstoppable ability to just look gnarled to fuckall. Doors open and close, wings rotate, missiles fire. ‘Tis killer.

Big thanks to Keef Love and his Sladie for dropping such heat on me.

2th
I took a gamble and I think I broke even. Who knows, I may have lost. I bought a 1967 (approx.)Snurfer from a lady in central Wisco. The thing is certainly in need of some love The tail is warped and has some damage that can never be repaired. The wood is down to nothing but the rawness. I fail to believe this is the original hand rope and that decal work has seen better days.

So now the question is how to go about the rebuild process. 1rd thing 1rd is to stop the warping at the tail and bring the wood back to its original shape. But then comes the nerdy nit-picky aspects. Do I have new decals created. As you can see the ones on the ride are tattered like an american flag trying to make a statement. Or do I simply lay a layer of varnish or shellac or whatever wood-coatery would be used over the whole thing, decals and all and just try to preserve it, as is.

Personally I’m inclined to strip the old stickers off, have some new ones made. Try and match a varnish to the original color. Put it on thick and luxe-like, apply the new stickers, get a better rope, and come to terms with the reality that it will barely be an original.

But whatever really. It’s just fucking toys, right?

3nd
I pretty much traTIMEveled through the weekend, so I was stoked to find this image on my phone Monday morning:

Wintar is a-comin’

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

I hope everyone is getting geared up.

I’m still here, Joaquin Phoenix.

Thursday, August 18th, 2011

1nd

Madison. Strolling the streets. Dodging dogshit and unicycle commuters. I say commuters because I see them in the morning. But let’s be honest, no one riding a unicycle at 8 in the morning has a job. Unless they are wearing a clown suit. Even then I would suspect them more of child molestation than clownery.

This place gets better everyday. Just when you thinking it can’t get any weirder, it does. And it’s not just slightly weirder, it’s weirded so far the fuck out that all you can think is “Ten minutes ago, I would have never thought that woman pushing her partner in a wheelbarrow with three afghan hounds was sensible. Now it’s the new normal.”

Following this trend, I have a feeling in the next week I will see:

  • Live action role playing of dogs playing poker.
  • A man fucking a lamp. And not a street lamp either. I’m talking about a that lamp your Gramma had at the end of her davenport (It’s called efficiency of language, and it’s called a couch, gramma.).
  • Frat boys wearing jeans and flippity flops.
  • The entire cast of the beasts from The Neverending Story playing D&D on the Capitol Lawn, and no one will act like it’s a big deal. Except about Artax. People will always stop and stare at an all-white horse like its some sort of message from the gods.

2th

Oh look, it just a little clown-shoeier.

I kind wish this thing had truck balls on it as well.

3st

I have finally left the world of the Hackberry and now twiddle my thumb on an Evo Three Dimensional. Taking pictures in the third dimension is pretty rad, but the downfall is they have to be viewed on my phone. Even if I send the image to another Dimensional 3 phone, it gets sent as a Dimensional 2 image.

However the Evolutor has more than enough fun features to make up for it.  One I really like is the adaptive dictionary. Such a rad thing to have built in. Some of the finer words I have added since Saturday:

  • Rad/radder/radderer
  • Bluntwrapz
  • Chatzles
  • Glazzles
  • Sunglassics
  • Fauxn
  • Whyte
  • Handshitz
  • Dr.ChristianSpankwood
  • Cunt-o
  • Breadildo
  • Flibbertyjizzerts
  • Snowboarderism
  • HansBlix
  • Werk
  • Stillst
  • Claro que si!

Fucking amazing really.

4st

Because everyone else is on it today too:

Look how unfun she makes a pro snowboarders life seem, and how important she makes boobs seem. I know I stopped watching 12 seconds in.

Remember that last part ladies.

Twosday

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

Part one:

I’m pretty sure that’s poop on my tire:

What I don’t know for sure is if  it’s from a human or some other beast.

The next part one

Maybe you’ve heard of Capita Super Corporation. Maybe you’ve heard the full trailer dropped today and people got all bonered about it.

I’m pretty sure the most entertaining part is Old Snowboard Realms himself getting named Texas Long Balls. That’s funny. 

Plus that dude is soooo tall. A-man tried to get a picture of him in Whistler, but he didn’t fit in the frame. All we got was a pic of his boot. Luckily, someone snapped this pic of him hanging out with a friend.

There probably won’t be enough Sean Whyte in this video.

Lastly, 

What’s it going to take to get coaster brakes installed on a mtn bke  the winter?

The State of Snowboarding episode 17

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

Around here the snow is long gone and all I’ve been smelling for the past few days is bike grease and mud. Seasons change, deal with it. I’ve got to figure out a way to lock Bloggie (Bey, buddy!) on the handle bars and take him for a few spins this year.

But before we get ahead of ourselves we should hit on some things:

First off, The Dirty Jerz just passed a law requiring kids under the age of 18 to wear helmets while snowboarding. I’m down for this. Snowboarding in NJ is hard, not difficult, but like concrete hard. It’s like Wisconsin but with more people out there riding. So you combine a greater number of people on the slopes with icy-as-balls hills and your going to end up with some brains rattling. So this should help. They won’t prevent every injury, but they will prevent a few. And in the case of head injuries this is a good thing. I also like that it’s for minors, once your over 18, do what you want. It’s like motorcyclism.

However, I would like to see a decent and affordable helmet program established. Snowboarding is expensive, and the last thing we need is to too keep people out because they can’t afford the $80 (or way more) piece of equipment that is required by law. This isn’t the leash law thing where you take the shoe lace out of your Vans, tie it around you ankle and show the liftie you have  a leash. This is a serious piece of equipment with significant price.

Perhaps there needs to be a decent helmet rental program with that will actually show kids the proper way to wear a helmet. Nothing is worse that seeing some kid with an ill-fitting helmet and no skills, heading mach 5,straight for some other kid wearing an ill-fitter, who’s sitting down, eating snow, thinking about legos.

Helmets on concrete snow can be good, but we need to teach kids to use them and they need to be affordable. We should also explain to them that the more flair your helmet has the more it probably sucks. Also tell them Shaun White ruined snowboarding.

Also note: Super Republican governor adding more regulations. How does that work?

DOS:

Hey, what’s up Dale!

Dale Rehberg talks about No More Signature ProModels from BuoLoco on Vimeo.

I don’t really have a clue what Buoloco asked him, but I like that he just calls it as he sees it. The pro-model game has been dead for a few years. Want proof? When was the last time you saw a Jeremy Jones (Momo JJ, not Deeper Jeremy Jones) promodel in the wild? It was probably a Forum.

The ironic thing is, I’ve always regretted not owning this line up of ride promodels:

I mean except for Circe’s. I was always more of a Jennie Waara fan.

Also, I took that picture directly from Jake Blauvelt’s blog.

Whistler Edit #2

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

Again giving Yobeat the 24hr headstart.