Archive for the ‘snowboardering’ Category

2012-80: Femine Theorizing

Thursday, November 15th, 2012

Two videos caught my eye today. I will share them with you.

T∞ H▲RD teaser from danyale patterson on Vimeo.

This shit is YOBEAT exclusive, so I only have the trailer. But please take the time to watch the whole flick HERE.

The other is a trailer? An advertisement? A down payment at the spank bank? from Reef.

Dang, guys. Did you see those pelicans? Those seals? This is some NatGeo territory right here. I don’t even know what Reef makes anymore. There must be a few missing links from The Haakon

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Boot to this.

There we have it, two roles of women in action sports. Too Hard is fucking packed full of shit that snowboarding is supposed to be all about. Stomping stompers, smiles and fucking off with friends, people getting busted up and heaps of rad graphixxx. The Reef video has boobs/asses/faces and pelicans.

You’re probably going to want to

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stop reading right here.

But the truth remains that the trickery laid down isn’t as gnarly as dude vids. Thus we have the issue of bros talking shit non-stop in the comments section. The riders in Too Hard go way harder than I do. I’m a baby about 8 stitches in my shin. Fancy Rutherford broke her arm in six places and got a million stitches, for a trick that, had it been landed, would have gathered minimal attention because some dude would have spun out of it.

Then you have Desiree Melacon and Marie Hucal in there. Fuck it if you don’t like their riding. Both are really good and Marie is one of the most entertaining people I’ve ever hanged out with for 30 minutes. Rad on the board, rad off the board. Seems like the kind of people you’d want to have around to ride with. Crap on the pace of women’s riding all you want, but it seems like those behind these kind of films are having the time of their lives.

In a way, it’s almost closer to the core of capital S snowboarding. A group of people going out, doing some good riding, having a great time. Total lack of Red Bull double chopper shots, but a lot of happy people and even a few of those “Oh shit. I landed it” faces. It’s less about action sports and way more about snowboarding. I’m cool with that.

Now on to that Reef video? Don’t forget to look at those asses. I’m never going to be the guy to turn down looking at some boobs/asses/faces, but I have to wonder what any of these models connection is to surfing/action sports. The surf/skate/snow world is such a closed community, and I think that is part of the appeal. It’s part of what makes these communities great. But there seems to be free entrance to anyone with an ass and sweet juggs. Yet, if any board company put up an ad featuring Channing Tatum, or any professional male model, the people would flip the fuck out. I guess it’s only reflective of the environment.

This scene isn’t going to change over night, but in time I hope it does. Until then, I guess we get by, flipping back and forth between Too Hard and the Reef video.



2012-78: These Dudes

Thursday, November 8th, 2012


This is rad. There tadalafil raynaud’s phenomenon is something that makes me pretty happy about hearing Drew Christopherson’s voice. He’s still got the midwest humblism in him, talmbout how the band had tadalafil bioavailability to get their shit together because they didn’t even have photos and they cialis 100mg manufacturers were heading out on tour. Then, BOOM, wild success took over. free online pharmacy classes Like those dudes haven’t been grinding since the get go. So stoked on them.

Granted, I say this having not really seen Drew, save for in passing, for well over a decade. But that dude is still there.

Whatever, if you’re not stoked on Polica yet, you’re not even alive.


Ski-company ripper part 1: Canadian

Just keep working it, making it all sorts of buy viagra usa radder. You can’t possibly get better than this, right?


Ski-company ripper part 2: French Canadian

Well, fuck pharmacy online it. Ski company has such a strong rail team right now. I could watch this all day. Those tunes are cheap generic viagra okay too.


Got that new body kit for the Silver Spurt. You dig?

2012-77: The Election Day Addendum

Monday, November 5th, 2012

I wrote up this piece for Yobeat about the importance of voting. It wasn’t supposed to be unbiased, it was just part of what goes into my choices for voting. In addition to that, I joe’s pharmacy should have added this part:

As a young person there are a few things you should be doing. Having some sex is one of those. And that sex shouldn’t be about being in love and wanting to spend more than 30 minutes with the other person. It needs to be about testing the waters, discovering your own kinks and getting off a few times.

Unfortunately, unplanned pregnancies can happen when dipping in. When they do, the partners involved need to discuss what is going to be done about it. And society should be thankful that how safe is canadian online pharmacy we have a safe option for giving peoples

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lives back to them. I’m not condoning abortion as a kind of birth control, jesus christ man, it’s way easier to toss on a condom than it is to discuss terminating a pregnancy.

But look around you. Look at your friends. How many of them do you think are ready to be mothers or fathers? How many of them are ready to give up on everything else to dedicate their lives to a partner they met on a fling, while they were trying to figure themselves out? Now, just assume that most of those people feel the same way about pharmacy online viagra you.

An unwanted child is going to certainly cramp your riding schedule. It’s going to fuck up your work life, social life and even your schooling. Keeping abortion safe, legal and affordable is crucial to a progressing society. Mistakes happen. You should learn from them, but the results shouldn’t have to keep you down for the rest of your life. Why would you vote for someone who is going to do nothing to protect the rights of young women, because his boogieman in the sky said it was wrong. Jello Biafra’s god told him to skin you alive, but he’s not telling all of use need to do what his god says. Anne Frankly, women’s right to choose will protect many men as well.


I think this is the best part I have seen come out this year.

Sure he’s got the Michael Myers thing going on, and Michael Bay would shit on his special effects but, this is canadian pharmacy online safe riding is really, really great.

Non-fucking stop. Watch it twice.

2012-76: All Saints Day

Friday, November 2nd, 2012

1th Saint

Jeremy Jones is up for the National Geographic Adventurer of the Year award. Can you imagine how stoked he is? I assume this is how the conversation went down:

Someone: Jeremy, you just got nominated for the Adventurer of the Year award.
Jeremy Jones: Frick yeah!

Personally, I’m pretty happy about this because shredmen and shredwomen have been pushing limits for quite sometime without much recognition for what they do. And who knows if JJ is going to take this award home, but at least he’s in the running. Snowboarding is finally on the map.

But, this isn’t about snowboarding in general. This is about the Jota-Jota. Maybe you don’t think he deserves it. I’m telling you he does, and here are ten reasons why:

• Snowboarders are always looking for some adventure.
• He’s been ripping since forever.
• Remember that photo in the Burton catalog, from the year they sold the board bag with a tent included. They set that shit up and camped out in a parking garage in downtown Burlington. I’m pretty sure JJ was in there. That’s fucking adventure.
• You know how hard it is to visit Minneapolis in the winter? Dude does it all the time and then rides handrails.
• You really gotta go deeper into urban environments to find proper rails. That’s why his movie was called Deepered.
• He invented Forum
• That one screw in the binding/varial looking bullshit: 100% adventure.
• Dude is into motorcycles. Motorcycles are actually more adventurous than snowboards. You didn’t know that? Clearly you’ve never seen Easy Rider or Top Gun.
• That board with the ‘Merican flag on the base. Bold move, just sending up a signal flare to the dudes who like snowboards, Nascar and meth.
• He hangs out with JP “Tha Advencha Don” Walker.
• Remember that time he went huge onto that rail? Fuck yeah, you do.

2rd Saint

You guys want to know what’s gross? Leather puffy coats.

The streetwear/menswear/whatever-the-fuck-their-call-themselves-now-wear companies propagating this shit needs to just stop. They have taken leather coats, which are fucking backwoods, and combined them with puffy coats, which are questionable at best for use on the daily. I’m pretty sure Analog tried this shit a few years ago. It was pointless then too.

You cannot take two turds, squeeze them together in your hands, and make something awesome. You just end up with a bigger turd and everyone thinks you’re kind of gross and won’t hang out with you. It’s like when Tha Don and Simon Chamberlin got together to make Jibberish. Those dudes poast up less then I do.

They totally spelled blaek wrong

3st Saint

Oddly enough, I’d still like to get my hands on one of the Penfield puffer vests. Bearmen should just send me one. I’ll review the fuck out it or something.

Ps. Starting a new blog:

4nd Saint


2012-74: Forum Dies Again

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012

So word came down yesterday morning that Burton is pulling the plug on The Program (Forum, Special Blend, Four Square). It was interesting to see the different reactions from the industry and the community, those who are on the periphery. I won’t go as far as to say the community was outraged, but there was some indignation. Most notably has been the rise of #GiveForumToPeter. We’ll get to that in a minute.

First let’s go over some of the finer points. Forum was a company on the edge of collapse eight years ago. It had been horribly mismanaged, and had Burton not taken over, it would have most likely disappeared long ago. At the time there was heavy speculation that Big B was just going to turn it into a price point brand—Forum would be available at Costco, Sports Authority and Dick’s and any other masterjock big box. And in time they were, but so were Burton boards, and Gnu and Rome and Endeavor and heaps of Ski-board brands.

When Burton did take over The Program, they cited their desire to keep a pure snowboarding company in the hands of snowboarders. And they did that. They tried for eight years, which was how long the company existed independently, and it failed to be a strong element for their business.

Just like Analog Surf/Skate and a global Gravis brand, the Program was not driving enough sales. I don’t really find this surprising. When was the last time you saw a Forum board in the wild? When was the last time you saw someone wearing Four Square or Special Blend gear? I mean apart from the lanky, mock-nerd on the Big Bang Theory (Who watches that show?).

As for the riders, Peter Line will always have a place in history. Pat Moore, will always have New England gnarliness behind him and the Slayer promodel to his name. But the rest of the team, regardless of how talented they were, seemed to have a hard time building a buzz about themselves. Yeah, you might know their names, you might get stoked when you see them ride, but that has never really moved boards.

Graphics sell most boards. Guttershits ride Capita decks. Quarry pit partiers probably have a 4-year old Rome deck in their garage. Jibbers for jesus are most likely on Stepchild boards. And people who are kinda into snowboarding have Burtons. Forum never really found its niche (Hippies ride Niche). And its graphics were all over the place. Cartoony to fuckall and then Helvetica-ed DRUGS. It was the constant plight of “where does the brand fit in?”

Back when there was the Forum 8, they had staked their claim. But that team dissolved, and word got out about some really low-quality decks. It was a particular time and place in snowboarding. It’s happened to other brands as well—Ride, Shorty’s, O-matic. But trends come and go and those times are fleeting. The Big B overlords were never able to recreate it, but you can’t blame them for not trying.

So The Program’s time had come, twice now. It was an iconic brand and this is a good way to keep some value in the name. Ask yourself if you would rather see the brand go the way of Sims, Lamar or Morrow? To be truly sold out? At least Burton is giving it a proper burial this time.

But apparently the community of riders thinks Burton should give the brand to Peter Line. #GiveForumToPeter is ridiculous. First off, is Peter walking around thinking “I need to have Forum right now”? Maybe. Then of course there is the fact Burton paid for the name. Perhaps SellForumToPeter would be a better hashtag. That way he could sink a bunch of money into it, it would quite possibly fail again, and he would end up broke down in the end. I don’t know Peter’s financial situation, but I hope he’s not going to end up driving a snowplow or hustling tees at SIA. He came up in a time when snowboarders could actually make a few dollars. And if he played it right, I suspect he’s going to be alright. The same goes for Pat Moore.

Relax guys, you’ve earned it. Yes it sucks that your job is gone, but it had to be a pretty good ride, Right?

As for the rest of the team, I can only assume they are being supported throughout the season as well. If this is true, they are in a solid place. They have a season to start the sponsor hunt. It sucks. Job hunting always sucks. But really good riders are always going to end up somewhere. Maybe a couple of them can jump on the Yes or Slash teams.

2012-68: Back to the Board

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

Firth thing firth:

Tom Sims passed away. The guy did a lot to push snowboarding in the early days. Moefaniel’s Sims Pocket Knife(?) was the first real board I rode.

I often wondered how he felt  about what his brand became—a shell of a legacy. I hope he lived life well and with few regrets. Keep riding, señor.

Up Next:
That’s It, That’s All
Red Bull presents


Introspective voice over that wants to be as much about life as snowboarding? CHECK
Sleds? CHECK
Japanese people doing what the fuck? CHECK

I’ve come to assume anytime you’re watching A SNOWBOARDING FILM SO EPIC IT TOOK TWO YEARS TO SNOWBOARD AND FILM, your going to be snoozing even faster. To put it in mathematicsical parlance:

(Filming + Post Production) correlates directly to ∑ .

Given that ∑ is the amount of movie you will miss because you fell asleep.

I can only assume with the two-year time frame, 3 weeks were set aside for proper walkie-talkie voice overs.

“Bloop…Dropping.  CUT! Let’s do that again.”

There was even a walkie talkie intro of Terry Henderson. Like the dude needs it. Just let him blast that method and people will all be like, “Oh that’s goddamn Terry Henderson. That crazy muthafucker ran the Baker Banked fakie and won. I once saw him at the Boston Pizza in Abbotsford, BC.”

The fact that this movie is gonna be free increases the likelihood of me watching it by roughly 100%

Lastly, Ride Snowboards. Talk about a shell of a company. Sheeesh.

Keep going:
This Probably Won’t Work

Fuck this thing As someone  very concerned about my hair and my brains (What else have a got, right?) I can understand the want for this product. But, because it just seems more Rumorator-ish, I think I’m going to stick with one of these:

Thanks to Co-host for bringing this to my attention.

2012-57: What Snowboarding Is, and A Friday Lister

Friday, June 29th, 2012

One: Business Up Front

I spend as much time as anyone running my mouth about what is and isn’t snowboarding or Snowboarding. It’s whiny and superficial and ultimately all pointless, but it’s what I know. It’s something I can talk about, that’s all.

But then I read this today:

Beyond the riding, Nelson was quite simply one of the nicest guys I have ever met in my life. People always say things like that after a death of course, but in Nelly’s case I honestly don’t know anyone that didn’t love him to bits. How could you not? He was friendly, funny, loyal and above all humble. While he now rode with the elite, he never forgot his original seasonaire buddies; there just was not an arrogant bone in his body. Years later,

when I got this job at Whitelines, I was lucky enough to hook up with Nelson on magazine trips to Kashmir, Mt Baker and Canada, and he remained as smiley and positive as ever.

It’s from Ed Blomfield at Whitelines Mag . You can and should read the whole article here.

I never met Nelson Pratt, and I’ve never met Ed, but this is pretty much MY snowboarding. You can replace Nelson’s name with just about anyone I ride with. Sure, exacts change but sentiments hold true.

Now, I’m too old for this snowboarding game. I’m awkward and out of place and all I can really hope is that Brooke throws me a free Yobeat hat every so often. But the people I’ve met because of snowboarding, the people I get to ride with on the regular, and people I’m itching to ride with, make up some of the purest, most honest, driven and entertaining people I know. It’s so much of what makes every day out there memorable. And even the days spent with these people, far from any rideable terrain, tend to break towards greatness.

Rarely do the on-snow memories involve the sickest lines, or do the stories compare to those laid down in magazines. But that’s the really great thing about memories, Ed’s memories are no bigger than mine, and mine are no larger then his. They are all perfectly sized for snowboarding and that is fucking massive.

Regards go out to Ed, The Whitelines Crew and everyone in the UK snow scene. It sounds like you guys lost a good one.


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think I’m getting closer to figuring out what snowboarding is.

I only have like 3 friends with whom I can’t talk snowboarderism.

Dos: Party in the Rear

List of Lists for June 29, 2012
• Possible Trivia Categories
• Bike Tools Needed
• Things I Need For The New Pad
• Kinds of Marijuana I Really Don’t Like
• Good Belated Mother’s Day Gifts
• Tigers
• Asians I Know (Revised 6-17-12)
• Public Places I Have Slept
• Haircuts and Other Things Not Covered By Obamacare
• A Zombie’s Grocery List
• Good Containers For Burying Money and Filth Mags
• Pros and Cons of Trucks vs SUVs
• Pros and Cons of Pad Thai
• Words That Are Funnier When Combined With The Word Milk
• People I Suspect of Treason
• Where Did I Put My Wallet

2012-33: The Larry Bird of 2012 posts

Friday, March 30th, 2012

Coming straight outta French Lick because we got some shit to cope with today.


I’ve been going on for the past couple of days about how skateboarding is still the raddest game in town and blah blah blah. And FlawsyFiles has been doing nothing to quell this feeling as of late. But then this happened


And suddenly I know where I belong—at home, pantsless, catching up on Game of Thrones or some shit.

UPDATE: 20 minutes after this clip was released, 12-year old Tom Schaar just melted into a globule of Red Bull, like a sugar-water Senator Robert Kelly.


Little Andy Troubles was back in action. I’m gonna bag on his music until the end (or until I like it) but you cannot deny the dude is 100% ripper. He’s still smooth with a shred stick under his feet, and really there aren’t that many people who can still look good while riding with Nico.

More Snowboarding Videos

Terms or phrases I’ve used to describe Nico’s riding: Sick, Sicc, ten-point-oh on the sichter scale, smooth, so smooth, fuck your mother, like a fat man on a hover-round, untouchable, Steezy P. Martini, rad, radder, the chronicles of radderist, amazing, amazering, kalangalangalang, almond joy, cuando es mi nalgas, You know that feeling you have the morning after the first time you get really hammered after you’ve turned 25 and you essentially just shit liquid at like 40 miles per hour, like a sprinting sasquatch, the uncanny valley, and cocoa butter.

UPDATE: Dude is stylish too. I’m liking that coat he’s running, but I still prefer his Marjorie, the trash heap, neck piece.


I hope these come in size 42 and with elastic waistbands. Because I can’t see even remotely fit people wearing these.

Apparently you can get them here.

Here’s an idea: if you’re going to sit down to eat your food anyway, why not just rest your plate on the ground, or on your picnic blanket. I do have to admit that this idea of food and plates at a picnic is pretty slick. Every picnic I’ve been on has only consisted of a bottle of water, a pack of Marlboro Blacks and a bag of mushrooms. And I never called it a “picnic.” I called it “blowing my fucking mind in a field outside of Washburn, Wisconsin.” I guess for efficiency of language purposes I can start using the term “picnic.”

UPDATE: I could see the Japanese and Southerners really getting down with these.

2012-32: The Legits

Thursday, March 29th, 2012

Sure it’s easy to blast the contest scene, but if you care about snowboarding you really should be reading this:

The Future of Snowboard Contests

The author, Matt Barr, really knows what he’s talking about.

Funny thing about that. I think it was about a year ago when I first saw one of his stories come up. I didn’t really know if should agree with his piece. First off it was crisp, not something I expected to be reading about the shred game. Not knowing his name from other (USA-centric) snowboarding pubs, I had to do a bit of digging.

It wasn’t long before I discovered he was working for a Journalism and PR firm. I was livid. How the fuck are you going to trust anyone from a PR firm to write about snowboarding? I know the kind of schlock PR writers pump out. Fuck those dudes. Liars. I knew this because I worked for an agency that was too heavily PR-ed. Those dudes lie more than advertisers.

So I had no respect for Senor Barr. But I also followed him on twitter. Straight up stalkerism. I was just waiting for him to get something wrong and then use it as fodder to strengthen my distrust of who was running the snowboarding.
Then, the more I paid attention, the more I realized he was on point. The dude knows his game and he legitimately cares about the shred game. He is one of us, even if I don’t know who “us” is.

At this point I can say I click just about every link Matt Barr posts up. I should probably mention that before he got into the PR game he was the editor at Whitelines, so he’s got some history. Plus, he recommends some pretty good books.

I cannot wait to pull these bitches.

I think they look

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worse now than they did on day two.

3st: We’re still snowboarding
Saturday and Sunday, Tyrol Basin. Shredathon. 8-10 rails to bust your shins on. Or, if you’re old like me, you can hang out eat grilled meats and drink beer in 16-oz cans. Or you can stay home and watch the Red Bull SuperNatural on the couch. We all make choices, dude, choices. All of us.

4nd: The Choice of a New Generation
Glen Coco > John Galt*

*shout out to Annet Donahue

2012-31: Gonna Get You Over That Hump

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Metacarpus: The Tahoe Time

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Machine: episode 4
We need to get these Tahoe stories over with, right? Okay here goes. Monday morning ran it up to Northstar with a full crew, eleven deeps to start with. Then we picked up Tali, Kenji, Alex and Skinny Claire (who was riding with broken collarbone. Gritty). We ripped up what was left of the backside. El Poco Lollo and I mostly rode with Benji (not Kenji) and Tom because those dudes know how to find every fucking hit in a forest. Good times, mega tree jumps all morning.

Afternoon came and we moved it over to the frontside of the mountain for a park sesh. Always fun at N*. Plus with the crew we had, there was no choice but to try to up your game. Lap after lap after lap. That’s what we did all afternoon. But we did stop for some lunch.

Then it was time to go out and get after the donkey dick that was mugging Tali and I all day. So we rolled up Tali hops on and immediately eats shit. It’s at this point that I use my concern for her well being to skip the rail and see how she’s ding. Luckily it was nothing serious, just a quick shinner.

Next run, I had no choice but to hit that rail now. So I did. And immediately skipped off, smashing my face on the snow and scratching up my favorite pair of goggles. Oh, I should mention that I also shinnered it. But we was cool, got up and keep moving, hit a couple more features and even got this fancy image on the ride-on from the EpicMix photog man.

Eventually hit the base and meet up with the crew at the 4pm meeting spot, Starbucks. Suze was there, so I was telling my smashing story to her. Then I say, “oh shit, I ripped my pants.” Then I say, “Oh shit that hole is kinda bloody.” I pulled up the pant leg to find this:

Check out the blood stain on that boot pull. The resale on these is going to be shit. Needless to say the day ended with 8 stitches, beers in the waiting room and the realization that this is the most injured I’ve ever been.

Proximal Phalange: Lists
I’ve complied two lists of things that are surprisingly easy and surprisingly difficult to do while smoking:

Dropping a Duece
Stoop Sitting
Breast Feeding

Hiding in Closets
Playing Tetris
Hiking to Flavor Country
Sneaking up on the Vietcong

Middle Phalange: MusicMusic
Can’t believe this album turned 10-years old this week.

Pretty sure I had to drive to Minneapolis just to get it. Ought two. Tough times.

Distal Phalange: On Your Health
Like diplodocus