Archive for the “Interviews” CategoryA few days ago I dropped in and got interview by Hoon Hwang. We talked about shradding. He blogt it over on Souff of the Norff Here’s an excerpt for those of you who got to know:
I’m pretty much the kind of person you want talking about your brands.
Plus Hooner popped up this image of me which was pretty rad.
 C’mon, you can’t fuck with those m-birds.
Tags: Hoon, Interviews. snowboardering, Meta Take a good look.  Starts tonight!
Time to panic MFers! RvR: Momma vR, are you looking at that flyer I faxed over? You think you can put this prophecy puzzle together for me before tonight’s presnetation? Momma vR: He said that’s not Jah. He also added “Hail King Selassie I!!!” Momma vR: He says it’s the spirit of the lion. True Jamaican. And that’s not the flag, it’s a Tuff Gong logo
Puzzle solved. As the three people that follow this rag know, yesterday was interview day here at the estate. I’ve been looking to get a new set of hands around the place. I’ve been labeling the position a hopsice nurse, because at 112yrs old I suspect I’m going to roll over any day now. But the position really consists of so much more. This person will be my personal assistant, my attache to hold my smokes and dope lest the police show up, and my all around go to person. The Smithers to my Mr. Burns. Oddly enough the only appicants that were taken seriously were women who submitted photos. Had there been cameras in the Great Hall it would have seemed like a less cockrock, more “repulsive opulence” version of Rock of Love. Or at least I can only assume so as I don’t watch TV other than the CC system set up around here. However, as the day wound down I knew that these were not the applicants I was looking for. In fact not one of them made it through the interview process. None-the-less there were some finer moments. Interview #1 Interviewee: Are you wearing just a Kimono? Interview #2 RVR: This isn’t totally a sex thing but, You willing to dress me up as ET and wear one of those bioharzard suits? Interivew #3 RVR: You aren’t really expecting benefits are you? Interview #4 Interviewee: I’m sorry, but what are your ASIMOs? Interview #5 RVR: James, she’s in a fucking wheelchair. please just tell her the position has been filled and roll her out to the sidewalk. Interview #6 never showed up so I drank whiskey. Interview #7 Interviewee: Why do you need a nurse? Needless to say the position is still open. Tags: hospice, Interviews, simpsons' reference
 from l to r: Waffles, Hoon Name: Hoon I was at the Brewers’ game on Tuesday night and people were asking me about you. How did you manage to build a Brew City following? For realz? I employ a series of doppelgangers who travel the world proselytizing the gospel of Hoon. Plus I use twitter
What’s this shit about you hard-rockin’ the nike 6.0? You know how it is. they say, hey we’re targeting the mass youth with some sneakers and t-shirts. i say sweet. they say can you help us get the word out? i say how many free diecuts are in it for me. But you’re 36? hey now…. you’re not going to publish that… are you? my internet age is 16… or at least that’s what i tell the ladies on facespace. grom4lyfe nike6.0 is trying to reach out to anyone who acts like their 16, even better if they’re trying so hard and they’re 42… i mean 36 with a huge fat wallet to buy this stuff on steepandcheap My internet age is 112, so we’re cool. oh nice. so we like cancel out.
You’ve got a Hoon jr. on the way. Any chance you’ll name the wee one Rumorator? Dude… you can’t let the cat out of the bag. if we have a girl it’s definitely named rumorator. if it’s a boy Shayboarder. That kid will hate you! sadly it probably will anyway. Mr. Bob Klein told me his kids think he isn’t cool. Bob friggin’ Klein, former Burton team rider and Agent to the snowboard olympic stars!
What did you paint on your H1N1 outbreak mask? mask what mask? what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. In all seriousness, i’ve got pink and brown polk dots with a neon green strap.
Art Spiegelman or Maurice Sendak? Dude Art Spiegelman no doubt. Maus is the shit. plus he went to Binghamton University… Upstate!
What’s the deal with your decision to only wear One-Piecers? no one’s asked me that before. the one piece is really a phenomenal invention. #1. it’s one piece of clothing. easy to carry. less decisions. #2. since it’s all one unit, you’re saving the environment as there’s less packaging, cut materials, buttons, zippers, etc. #3. wearing a one piece harkens you back to the good ol days of underroos and PJs with feet. #4. it makes it really easy for the doppelhangers to always coordinate with me across the globe via our iPhone 3G network. much harder to do that when we’re talking multiple pieces. #5 most importantly, it’s the only thing I can hoon for free
Favorite post riding beer? Coors light or PBR tall boy
Rank these items
ok here goes. tough choices. #3. 4 wolf pups to train them to become guarddawgs for the baben #5. What’s left again? oh yeah. Pink Flamingo to give to Lorene
Any blogs you want to hype? oh right. sure. you can find me at hoonhwang.blogspot.com, fuel.tv/hoon, 5ones.com Tags: Hoon, Interviews, shayboarder For those of you who follow my adventures regularly, you know the problems I have had with reliable house staff lately. For those of you who are new, you should no that I have sacked all of the employees at my estate, but for my groundkeeper, James. It should also be known that I find James to be a bit on the worthless side, and I only keep him around because of his ridiculously attractive, now nearly 19yr old daughter who occasionally comes by to prance about in swimwear. Today it dawned on me that perhaps I am not looking for the right kind of help around the estate. Enough with kitchen folk and simple dishwashers. They are worth less than the far below living wage I paid them. I have decided to hire a hospice nurse. It important to let you all know that this in no way reflects my general well being. Given my advanced age I am still spry as Noel Coward, without the predilection for the more boyish asses. Basically what I’m looking for is a new manservant, a valet (Yo, LV!) if you will, but with a better diet. My hospice nurse has to survive on more than just cheetos and orange drink. I also like the idea of paying someone to clean me. So the position is officially open, pay is to be determined, and job requirements may include, but are not limited to.
If you are so interested please submit qualifications, pics and salary requirements at rvr@rumorator.com Tags: hospice, Jobs, my gardener, Noel Coward
RVR: Care to be the subject of an interview TimJS: about what? btw, i’m in dovi right now RVR: For the rumorator blog? TJS: sweet, shoot RVR I was there last weekend it was epic TJS: you see the chinese buffet? RVR: Hell yes! wanted to stop in TJS: have’t eaten there yet
RVR: demolish that shit.
 Tim, not in Wisconsin
Name: TimJS
#1. Did you ever see that chick from Lost while you were in Korea? She’s american, though plays a korean. he’s korean but plays and american and his korean speaking is shit. or vice versa. i never saw them. that i know of.
#1 Did you ever see that dude from lost while you were in Korea? Maybe. don’t think so.
#2 What’s the last album you bought or illegally down loaded? i dowloaded lots. right before i left, a bunch of kanye some bjork and blonde redhead
#3 Some broad I know says you remind her of Tom Petty, I said you were more Bowie-esque. Who would you rather be? Bowie, duh some dude i worked with said petty
Screw him. #4 How stoked are you to see Whipp? He started talking to me again. that was nice. i expect to actually see him when i’m in mke. it’ll be nice he says he has a cameo in a film for me. i buy beer for underagers And he didn’t like that? No, this was his idea. he told me that was going to be my part when i’m there Ahhh got it He hasn’t talked to me since I made him sweat eating chili. He holds grudges like that! when was that? you said he was throwing things at your window one day Months ago. He never stops by anymore. It hurts Then i suppose you’re about due
#5 Rank these items: Paul Barman’s “It’s Very Stimulating” on vinyl, the lefty from my old pair of dunks (it kind of smells like piss), the new pepsi logo, A picture of Billy Corgan of Zwan fame with his middle school basketball team, and Eide’s Motel 1. Eide’s Motel, because it’s nearest me right now. if it’s still around 2. the corgan pic because he’s of zwan and not smashing pumpkins fame 3. the vinyl, though i haven’t listened to him, i’ve heard he’s interesting 4. the dunks 5. i have’t seen the pepsi logo yet i’m still getting used to the american sized soda cans
Well it’s only one dunk and the new logo is just another logo. Not great, but could be worse. Your dad was blown away by the small soda cans in korea. He Felt Cheated Tags: Interviews, korea, Pepsi's crap new logo, Whipp Stormin’ back onto the scene with sidebar interview number two! this interviewee asked to come over to the estate for the meeting. So I said yes. When she got to the gate I made her conduct answer the questions over the intercom. I never did let her in. But i did have James run out some Lemonade for her. But that was more just a cruel joke given the below freezing tempertures here. HA! Well on with the interview. Name: Lars #1 Being you live in Milwaukee, have you ever seen Speech from Arrested Development or Screech from Saved By the Bell? #2 When you think “Indian” do you think Sikh or First People? #3 Who is the best writer on the Staff of the New Yorker? #4 How do you feel thus far about the failure of the Obama political team? #5 Rank these items: A VHS copy of Ken Burns’ Baseball, a thermos full of bum urine on the sidewalk, the Baconator, a coat tree, and one of those chairs that looks like a giant high heeled shoe. Bonus Question: What was the bigger let down: Christmas with you family or hearing that Heath Ledger might actually win an oscar for The Dark Knight, even though Bill Murray got screwed on Lost in Translation beause that movie was really really good? Anything else you want to add? Working on a new feature here. The purpose of the Sidebar Interview is to get to know the random people who happen to be in my gmail side bar. These aren’t heavy hitting inteviews, at least not until Elena Hight ends up in the sidebar and I get to ask how it felt being pimped out by Big B. The interviews are also dynamic in that I’ve got ideas for a couple questions, but most of them will be created during the course of the interview. I’m also considering surprise sidebar interviews, but we’ll see how it goes. Let me know what you think. Also be sure to keep submitting questions for “Ask a Rumorator” at rvr@rumorator.com So without further delay: Name: ixkatiexi #1. What’s your favorite bump? #2. If you were into Cosplay what character would you be? #3. What was the last album you enjoyed enough to buy? #4. Being in Atlanta, do you ever see Speech from Arrested Development? #5 Rank these items:Flame Thrower, Pizza, Lenin’s Corpse, Speak-n-Spell, and Cucumber Water. Excellent. Anything you want to add? These questions are fun, I want more like them I’ve got nothing else. As for what to add, I guess it’s fair to mention that I believe Wall-E to be Oscar for Best Picture worthy, and also I’m irritated by the recent resurgence of vampire folklore in media. I encourage everyone to read the original Dracula, and to not fall for the reiterations where they remove elements of being a vampire to make their stupid plots work. You can’t see them in mirrors, they have to drink human blood, and they can’t go out during the day or else they’ll burn and thats that. And go dawgs! Tags: Interviews, Sidebar |
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