2012-3: LispTrack #6: The New Year’s Resolution

January 4th, 2012

Lisp track #6 1-4-12: The New Year’s Resolution by Rumorator

Also if anyone know how to get rid of that fuzzy feedback, please for the love of balls, let me know.

2012-2

January 3rd, 2012

Senor Andre Wenzy  of Boards and Brews directed my eyes to this.

Pretty fucking rad dude, right? Gnarly board, gear profile set to ripped-to-the-tits, jacked up stance? It’s all there.

Still, a better representation than Señor Blanco.

2012-1

January 2nd, 2012

Happy New Year!
Whoo-hoo!
Okay, now can-it and let’s get to work here. We’ve got things to cover:

1th
Utah in 4 days. I got $5 that says I get no more than 9 runs in, over 3 days. Last time I was in Park City people were telling me what a horrible year it was. That was six years ago. This year people are saying “No really, this is the worst year ever.” I’ve seen this before, Jackson Hole in 1998 and again in 2004. Worst years ever.

Anyway, if you need me from Friday–Monday I will be camped out at CobraDogs.

2st
There was a mini QCC ‘leven thrown down. It was just me and Chip. And it involved Ashley’s and JJ’s Fish and Chicken.

Ashley’s: Located at 15rd and Center, people have been talking about this place being more legit than Speed Kween, which seems to be a point of contention. So we went. Parked the Silver Spurt and walked in. The interior is void of any seating, except for like 3 chairs against the wall. There  was also Mortal Combat II, Ms Pac Man, some zombie shooting game, and a couple of unplugged video poker machines. The entire customer area was about 300sq. ft. and somehow they claim to run weekend buffets in this joint.

There were several menus, but none of them had pricing on them. One menu featured “Rack of Ribs” (no pricing), so I stepped to woman behind the bulletproof glass.
“I’ll have the rack of ribs?” that question mark represents the uncertainty of what I was getting myself into.
“Beans and slaw?”
“What?”
“YOU WANT THE BEANS AND SLAW?”
“Yeah.”
“AND?”
“A soda…a mountain dew I guess.”
“$19.89”

Shit.
JJ’s: The meal from JJ’s was catfish nuggets, salt, fries, salt and chicken wings with salt. It was like $9 with the salt and a free grape soda.

We went back to Co-host’s joint to eat this mess. The ribs from Ashley’s were stacked like 3 levelles deep and came with 4 pieces of white bread. The ribs were pretty damn tasty. The slaw wasn’t worth putting in my mouth. And the beans, while they looked unappealing they were okay, but not good enough to put in my quickly filling gut.

Moving into the JJ’s meal, Chip had warned me that the fries sucked balls and there may be bones in the catfish nuggets. After one bite of everything we began discussing the finer points of JJ’s triple salting process. That was basically the highlight of JJ’s. That was seriously the saltiest food I have ever consumed. Even when my parents were in their hippie phase and we had goats with salt blocks to lick and my older brother made me lick that salt block, I was thinking, “This is salty, but someday I will eat at a place called JJ’s and it will be way saltier.”

In the end I was a little bummed out. I wanted JJ’s to be good. I wanted it to be this gem that everyone just drives past and assumes if a crappy place to eat [Eddie Vedder voice] even though [/Eddie Vedder voice] it’s amazing. But nope, it’s just a crappy place to get salty food. The mural inside is shitty too.

Ashley’s on the other hand it worth going back to. So solid. Just don’t get the full rack of ribs.

3nd
I was in the middle of bagging on these books, when someone told me how good they were. I really don’t believe them, but it made me feel like an asshole.

Whatever. I judge these books by their covers, but more by their shitty titles.

4st
I drove over my snowboard, and I really working on those lip slides.

Audioblog #5 : The Lispmas Chrystmas Spectacular

December 24th, 2011

Dig it. Happy Holidays, bitchezzz.
Audio blog 12-24-11-3 by Rumorator

Head Above Surface

December 22nd, 2011

1th

This is where we’re at for now:

1.     There is now real snow here.

2.     The fake snow is now like concrete, with ribbing.

3.     I am too afraid of falling to get mildly wicked on the shredder.

4.     This is what happens when I decide rails should be part of my first run of the day.

call me anytime, ladies.

2rd

Early Season Product Review

Holden Field jacket: Still long, but I’ve gotten used to it

Holden Durden pants: The legs are still attached and I haven’t caught my peep in the zipper yet. In reality I like these pants much more than I anticipated. I find them agreeable.

Burton Pointer pants: Solid pants, again the legs are still attached and no dick carnage. I like that these have buttons rather than snaps. I suspect I can ride switch in these.

Burton Mr. Nice Guy: This is a fun thing to have strapped to my feet. I am pleased with my purchase.

Orange-ish/Red toque I found in my basement: Top notch. Rather versatile, I can wear it alone, under my helmet or even just tucked into my back pocket. Also, warm. Great on boxes and rails.

8 days of a sore ass-muscle: Fuck this thing.

3nd

Hackmode


Maybe I’m just missing it.
But I don’t think so. Let’s cover the key elements here:

·       An snowman with a high heel shoe as his nose

·       The line “Frosty the Crossdresser”

Do you get it? Are you laughing?

Does this make any sense to anyone? Am I missing something? Is it something with the hair or the shape of the mouth? I’m so confused. I’ve always known a crossdresser to be someone who dresses as the opposite gender. I’ve also always considered snowmen asexual. I can say this because at no point in my life have I thought, “I’m kinda wanna see that snowman’s donger or vagina.” Which is uncommon, as I’ve thought that about most personified and a fair number of inanimate objects.

Now had the heels been simply put at the base of the snowman I would get it. It wouldn’t be funny, but I would understand it. But the heel as a nose, where it is replacing a button or possibly a carrot, is beyond me.

This is probably going to ruin my Christmas.

Come, Hear My Tale

December 14th, 2011

Singles.

I’m pretty sure we have entered the end of days for my wallet.  It’s been a good run. I think I picked this beast up sometime in the mid-nineties. Someone told me Kenneth Cole was the heat. I even had a pair of shoes the company made. They were shoes with a monkstrap. I knew this. The fact that I knew this probably had something to do with me not helping some broad get a role on Teen Mom.

But it was a shaky time. I needed an unchained wallet. Madre and Padre Rumoratario wanted me to look respectable. They thought my size 40 pants were an abomination. But they let me roll around on 39mm wheels like it was totally acceptable. Where was the good parenting then? C’mon dad, you couldn’t have pulled me aside and been like, “Child, get yourself some respectable wheels, like at least a 55. Also those  jumbo trousers aren’t helping land any broads on Teen Mom, if you know what I’m saying. ”

PhlawsyPhiles is telling me to get on board with the Yobeat dollarClipse, but I’ve tried and tried again with those clipse. I don’t carry enough Hondos or Benjamins. Shit, I don’t even know what the cool people call one hundred dollars bills. So clipse are just right out.

Jheff JHamlett is suggesting I go with one of these Tanner Leather bifolds. That’s feeling much more my style, and you gotta admit that that natural leather has potential for long-term radness.

But, since we are now in the realm of artisan leather goods, shouldn’t I be keeping it close? Hitting up this Cap City Local? For real I could probably bike to homeboy’s tannery and get the goods. But I think the idea of having a wallet worth more than what I carry in it is hilarious. Honestly look at this mess:

I’ve got $23,  a couple of debt-makers, a AAA card (I don’t even drive) and like 60% of a free slice of pizza at Ian’s.  Given what I’m rolling with, I’m best off going with this:

Best summer wallet available. Maybe it’s time to make it a year round thingy.

Double-Up!


I watched Red State. Holy shit! Granted, I’m a touch of Kevin Smith fanboy, but it doesn’t matter. This movie is crazed. I’ve seen horror movies, even a few Asian ones, they’re creepy, but Red State, that was kind of a horrifying flick.

Blastly:
I like this:

LispTrack 4.5—the Torontario Show

December 13th, 2011

Stacked up on the mic with The Dominican , who clearly has the right voice for this.

LispTrack 4.5—The Toronto show by Rumorator

LispTrack #4–White Lightning Noodles

December 8th, 2011

Apparently I only blog on Mondays and Fridays now. WTF, right? Anyway, I think I made some sense on this riff on Sean Blanco.

Rumorator.com LispTrack #4 by Rumorator

Gatoring

December 5th, 2011

Hey kids, you wanna buy some naked pics of that snowboarder?

I have said it before and I will say it again: Sean Blanco is the next Gator. That blond is lucky she hasn’t been discovered stuffed in a surfboard sack and dumped behind the Burton Store in NYC. Then again she hasn’t been identified, so she could well be missing.

I also like the report that Senor Blanco was all like “C’mon guys, I’m a gold medalist. Erase those pics or Target is going to get pissed. C’mon guys, erase those pics, or I’ll dump your body with hers. C’mon guys please.”

They he turned to the unnamed blond and demanded $89,000 just for showing up in her vagina.

Meanwhile all the photosnappers were like, “Totally, Sean. Totally erased.”

Yeah right, YEAH RIGHT. The “it’s erased” line is just a reflex lie at this point. Like “No, I wasn’t sleeping” or  “I only had two girl scout cookies”, ” or “Oh yeah I’ve been with tons of womens.” I remember lying to Lizzo from writing class about those pics being erased. And they were, after we copied them on to like ten computers. Those were the hottest 1.2 Megapixels images ever. But really “it’s erased” was first muttered 7 seconds after digital cameras were invented. It would have been sooner but those early cameras took forever to process anything.

Masticating factor: Shawn White is irrelevant to snowboarding.

Audio Blog #4: Quota Rock

December 1st, 2011

Audio blog 12-1-11 by Rumorator