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El Dia De Los Muertos

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Chapter 1: WINTAR

Seriously, where is this shit? Both coasts are getting hit. First it was the Tahoesies and Cololame-os getting some, and then UMS became CMS in a wicked blast of winter weather. SHOUT OUT TO NAT V!

Where the shit is my wintar weather?

Maybe this is for the best. I still need to find some boots. Actually, I don’t even need to find boots I just need to get them or something. Salomon Fdueceduece, where you at?

On the other hand, I got the winter ride ready to go. Just need to pop on the studded tires and fenders. But this did happen over the weekend:

I don’t even know where those GT toestraps came from. Clay Davis says “Sheeeeeeit.” Just a pile of parts, all stripped off.

But now, $100 in, I’ve got this:

Clearly, I still need to peel off some stickers and all, but it’s pretty much theft-deterred right now. I say that but someday I’ll come to find my radio missing and battery gone. Ahhh…not really. I’ve got indoor bike parking at home and at the office. This is just how Madison rolls. How are you not going to have indoor bike parking?

Seriously, I don’t even lock that shit up. Just lean it against the rack. It’s like Micheal Moore’s Canada up here. Plus we can carry guns now, so there’s that.

In other news I have no trivia on Tuesday nights anymore, so that has me lost. I’m lost-aez bru.

capítulo uno: papá

Twas poppa vRs birthday on the 26th. I missed it. I’m a horrible son. So Imma let him buy me dinner tonight to make up for it.

פרק אחד

Also, it was halloween. The greatest thing I saw, apart from Murs making raps, was a panda, sans head, getting real raw with a slutty nurse on the dance floor (street, as the concert was outside). I should also note the slutty nurse was wearing the missing panda head. It was fucking amazing. I want to go back in time, take acid and watch it all over again. Of course if the was the case I would also go back in time and stop freshman-in-college Rumorator from getting down with like 4 of the first 5 girls I got down with. Just pull him aside and let him know, “It gets better, kid. Your gonna stop wearing those Phish shirts soon, and watch what you’re drinking, you’re getting college fat.”

Dan Savage could have had an “It gets better” campaign for me regarding the women I surrounded myself with. Shudder.

I also would then say “Listen to this album with a candle burning and you’ll see your entire future,” just before handing past-me a copy of Dr. Octagon’s The Octogonecologyst.

Tags: Bikes, college fat, Halloween, raps, Salomon Snowboards, Time traveling, winter rides
Posted in Bike!, Madison Anti-Boredom Campaign, snowboardering | 1 Comment »

Summer Retreat

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

Camped out at the summer home. Where you gonna find me?
Pedaling a bike? Perhaps.
Listening to raps? Yup.
Trying to live an entire month pushing out asparagus pee? Like a fact factory.

Really though, the summer home is similar in location and design to the winter estate. In fact, I’ve built an exact replica of the estate, directly adjacent to the aforementioned estate. From this summer forward, the winter estate shall be known as Briarsnatch (as it always has been) and the summer home shall be referred to simply as Corriander Falls at Fetal Acres.

To say it is a replica is no exaggeration. Everything is the same. Floor plan, the over-sized Dead Kennedys poster used as a shower curtain, the fireman/stripper/fireman-stripper pole that connects all three floors.

Still The NPR crowd keeps rapping:

Please, for the sake of humanity stop making raps. It does no one any good.
Unless you’re these guys:

How the balls does the Whole Foods song have more views than Meter Feeder? This is what’s wrong with America.
New goal in life: grow Aesop Rock hair.

The second part:

I did get a new helmet.

And that’s a plus because I’ve taken to crashing my bike all over the place.

For those of you who care, it’s a SixSixOne Recon Helmet. And if anyone says it doesn’t fit on a large head, they are lying to you. Shit it protective. Shit is somewhat radder. Shit is designed for the large headed. Shit is A+ in my book.

The Triumvirate:

Humboldt Fog is pretty legit. Whole Foods rappist had that part right.

Four:

What do you know about running a Nissan Leaf off a Tesla Coil? IS IT DOABLE? I might need TheFlawsyFiles to put me in touch with Bill Nye the science guy on this one.

Tags: Bikes, NPR Raps, Rap, Six Six One Recon
Posted in A Very Special Rumorator | 3 Comments »

The Hump Day Dump

Wednesday, April 6th, 2011

Wednesday, lets do this.

I finally pulled the trigger on some new Benny Gold’s. I grabbed the Gold Standard selvage denims. I actually got these bad boys last Friday and have been living in them ever since. They are good pants, made in the USA, 13.5 oz denim, comfy, all that. Plus look at that color.

Coming from 5 years of wearing Nudies and APCs almost exclusively, these things are definitely a change, The legs have way more room and the rise is mega. at first I was a bit unsure of them, but they’ve quickly grown on me. Besides, not all of my pants need to that slim. my favorite feature of these pants is the pen pocket off the coin pocket. It’s a simple thing, but as someone who carries a pen 90 percent of the time, it’s great. I’m not a denim expert but I’m guessing these pants are coming from the same denim used in Agave jeans. They seem a touch too soft out of the box to be from the Cone factory. Again that is pure speculation. I used some social media mastery and asked Mr. Weiner himself where they were from but he just said they were made in the USA. Benny Gold is TRADE SECRETIVE.

At the online shop he recommends sizing down one size, which I have to echo to anyone. If you want them to be slimmer, go down two sizes. And speaking of the online shop, he’s got them for 50 percent off right now. So go buy two pairs. If your local shop isn’t carrying these, be sure to grab them directly from the source. It puts more money in the pockets of the people who design and make the goods, not some online streetwear-exploitation warehouse. Support the people that support your interests.

One to the Next One

I first saw this video a couple months ago, then my buddy John from Seven Years Winter sent it out again the other day.

VCA 2010 RACE RUN from changoman on Vimeo.

Be sure to take note of his uniform at 3:29.

I like his style.

And Then There Was This

My main sticker mama and all around rad lady Nat Vosko had her pottery show opening the other day. I gotta say, her pieces look good.

Congrats to Nat, and thanks to L-boogie for getting pics of it all.

While We’re Here

Dane101 and Phil Ejercito dropped this bomb from April 4th in Madison.

I’ve got so much new found respect for Jessie Jackson. The guy has spent more time in Madison over the past 2 months than most residents. Words cannot even explain it. But if this picture doesn’t have you thinking, then you need to re-examine your American dream.

And Lest We Not Forget

9 days until Whistler

Tags: art, Benny Gold, Bikes, Denims, Jessie Jackson, Scott Walker is a douchebag
Posted in Flashion, Politiks | 3 Comments »

The Weekend That Won’t End

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

I did some time traveling this weekend. That is to say it was like those college days. Except this time I didn’t wake up with my head in a pizza box and hand in my pants. But it got shaky for a while. Needless to say I’m back to living upright now.

We’re going to start with the fact that this morning I was told I look like this dude:

NO WAY DUDE. NO WAY. You can go back to eating your Jimmy Johns sandwhich. Last time I had one of those was the last time I was in college. I never checked the ingredient list, but it seems that they may have put some poop on it. Chip says feces is their secret ingedient. Gross.

But really guy, I’m not looking like that poster. When was the last time you saw me riding sans hood? Maybe that Dub Jacket in 96? Maybe that same Dub Jacket in 2000? That thing had like 5000 name hits on it. Unstoppable. I was trying japan airs off spines that one winter, wearing that hoodless beast.

And those gloves over the coat? When was the last time you saw me riding with gloves ove the coat? Maybe those Burton Universe gloves in 96? Maybe those same Burton Universe gloves in 2000? That things had like 2 name hits on ‘em. Unstoppable. I was trying japan airs off spines that one winter, wearing those gauntletted bitches.

Otherwise that’s picture is spot on.

Article 2

I’ve been listening to Flashlight, the extended version, like it was 96 and I wearing a hoodless Dub jacket with Universe gloves and just discovered Jorge Clinton. But I think we all now that when you turn this ipod on it goes directly to Devo “Uncontrollable Urge.”

Section 3 seat 9

New paint on the Team Rumorator bike. That shit wins races.

Quads

Quints Paste

Whistler: 16 days

Tags: Advertising, Bikes, Music, Snowboarding, Totally Gross National Product
Posted in Bike!, Meta, snowboardering | 5 Comments »

Mixed Mediums

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011

Whistler 23 days.

Since we’re probably all thinking about riding bikes by now, I’ll share this one canadian Davey Ronalds directed me too. It’s fun.

A Hill in Spain from chris akrigg on Vimeo.

Is good right?

Oh, what’s that you say? Bikes aren’t your bag? Well you should probably check out this one then:

28 YEARS “That Ho” – Official Music Video from Wes Richardson on Vimeo.

I got this one from Goose and it’s probably the best thing he’s given me since a gmail invite.

NC repping hard in that, but the lens-less glasses is going too far. I see 2nd graders on those jawns at this point. You might as well be pushing some Court Forcers in the Daily Piff. Better yet, you call me and I’ll send you my winter meats, some beat old Peacocks. You can get fresh with those. Fucking glazzles without lenses. Next year you’ll be faking in wheelchair.

Assholes.

Lastly, promotional material or not, this is ths shittiest looking bee ever:

Tags: Advertising, Bikes, Rap, Whistler
Posted in Bike! | No Comments »

Awards Season

Monday, March 14th, 2011

First Period: International Affairs

Alright Readership, here we go. I was informed by 1/5 of youthat I need to get back to writing about snowboards or bikes or at least something funny, or I am going to lose my readers. The other four of them.

The fact of the matter is this has been a pretty crapchunk season for snowboarding. I’ve been bizzed, not getting out as much as I want and the weather has been garbage barge. Luckily I will be sneaking out to Whistler to catch “The Show” portion of the Telus Festival. And since I’m going solo, if anyone wants to meet up and toss down a couple turns or beers let me know. I need friends.

Second Period: History

Incase you missed that, I’m taking this show international. And yet I still get no high fives on the local. Is cool though. This thing never set out to be a Milwaukee blog. The origins of this entire rag was to blast shit about a core group of guys who all lived on the same wing in our dorm.

Somehow it got out of hand, people decided to read it and it’s given me an excuse to have more fun. It also gave me an excuse to have some stickers made. In fact it’s almost like I’ve got a street team. Check out this action from the Socal track racer man.

Shit gets raced. I’m like the USofA with the army racecar, except I’m still backing women’s reproductive rights. HUZZAH!

3rd Period: Social Studies

As I was saying, I’m not really looking to be some Milwaukee blogger. But this is some serious hackory: Check out the Shepard Express (print publication, old media) Best of Milwaukee Web Awards.

Scroll through the list and take note of the serious lack of Rumorator nods. I’m like Marty Scorsese, before The Departed, over here. I guess if I was going to knock off something Japanese for the cred at home, now would be the time.

And dig on this one:

Really I shouldn’t be so offended. Because if you look at the options for best art blog The first option is Art City, which is pretty much in direct competition to the Shepard Express. For real, the Shep Ex is suppose to be our alterative weekly, loaded with stuff to put you in the know. And who do they nominate for best Art Blog in the city? Not themselves. This would be like el rumorator just talking about how rad Shayboarder is. Fucking genius work.

4th Period: Government

At the risk of losing all my readers, you gotta see this:

It’s from Mr. PhilGarlic’s FlickrStream

It’s also worth checking out this one, from Dane 101.

That’s a lot of pissed off people, Scotty. Beware.

Tags: awards, Bikes, Scott Walker is a douchebag, web 2.02, Whistler, Wisconsin
Posted in Milwaukee Radification Project., Politiks | 2 Comments »

Valentine’s at the bike park

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

Yep, that’s what I did last night. Went to the bike park and fell off logs over and over until this happened:

Careful, that carbon fiber shit will tear you up. Anyway the trance was out of order, so I strolled over to the demo desk and asked if I could take a BigMX kind of thing. So they hooked me up with this:

That’s some prize Waterloo real estate. Granted I would’ve cut down the bars about 2 inches on each side, dropped that front brake and painted the muthafucker gold, but it was a fun ride. It was a little too fun. I don’t like the thoughts I’m having right now.

So I took it around the park then decided to bring it up to the pump track and sailed around until I was dizzy on this:

You see that pillar on the left, right there in the track. That’s some good times right there. Given I’ve never ridden a pump track I was having a blast. Then I decided I should probably step it to the expert course. I figured I’ve been riding a two-wheeler for a few years now, why not?

Dumb.

I dropped three laps through there, struggling on the step-ups and all that rad stuff.

Then I ran into this son of a bitch:

In case you can’t figure it out, I’ve mapped my course:

As you can see, I thought it would be best to hit the wall. What you can’t see is that I was already falling when I hit the wall. I tried to catch myself with my left arm, but continued to fall and stretched the left flipper the wrong way. I kind of felt like I was going to vomit for a minute, but then got back out there. Because that’s the way you get better-ish. Right?

Moral of the Blog: Wall rides are for people who know what they are doing. And those dudes just standing there wear a lot of Fox gear.

Tags: Bikes, Hister, Injuries, Rays Mtn Bike Park.
Posted in Bike! | 8 Comments »

NO B.S. or Garbage Like That

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

This is awesome because I’ve been thinking of getting out of the my BMX and into a fucking killer reptile.

I’m so fucking tempted to text him, just to get the pictures of the snake.

PS. If anyone wants me to text them pics of my snake, just let me know.

Tags: Bikes, craigslist, killers, snakes
Posted in Bike! | 5 Comments »

From the Lobster Pot #7

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

Rock. Hater. Bike. Rock.

Tags: Bikes, Hater
Posted in Lobster Pot | 1 Comment »

This One Slipped By Me

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

I attended a Meeting of the Minds last night and Mike dropped this knowledge:

“Did you hear about this indoor mountain biking course they are opening in Milwaukee?”

Whatever bro. Whatthefuckever. I was tempted to tell him about a few simple things you need to know in life:

Virginia is for lovers.
Work from the outer-most fork in.
There ain’t no party like a west coast party.
Soylent Green is people.
Mountain bikes are for outside.

Then this morning Keylo drops this bomb on me:

I guess I was too wrapped up in things like trivia and trying to get Laura Hadar‘s phone number, and this one just slipped right by me. But you know, never late then never.

And at least now I have this thing to play with when the joint opens up:

And please don’t comment on the toe clips. Thems is gone.

Big thanks to EDK for the handstand hand modelingmanship

Tags: Bikes, Laura Hadar, Meeting of the Minds
Posted in Bike! | 1 Comment »