Posts Tagged ‘biking’

2012-36: Passed Over

Monday, April 9th, 2012


I was able to get out for my first mountain bike session of the year. I was at the John Muir Trails to lay down 12-14 miles and a little time in the skillz course. I was originally thinking of heading to Blue Mounds State Park, but the trails there aren’t even open yet. Which is probably a good thing. I’m not ready for that place. One thing I learned on Saturday is that I am wickedly out of biking shape. Had I been at Blue Mounds, those horrible hills would have left me for dead. Fuck, those hills are aerobically treacherous even at the peak of bike season.

Anyway, I was out riding, feeling good, passing people, then about 8 miles in I crapped out and was passed by two groups. I was struggling. My fingers were sore from gripping the bars. My shoulders were sore. I was a wreck. Somehow I finished up the ride and wept, alone in my car. I’ve got some work to do.

But the bike was in pretty good shape. Sure, a few screws need to be tightened and the shocks still need a proper fine-tuning, but damn it felt good to be back on the trails. Hard to believe last weekend I was on a snowboard.


Here are a couple more of late hitters from the Tahoe trip.

First up we’ve got Benji getting some off a man’s jump at Heavenly. I heisted this one off facebook but it’s still pretty rad.

Next up we’ve got an image from the ice rink in the village at Northstar. We’re going to play a game. Please tell me what is the awesomest part of this image.

Is it:

A: The girl with no pants on?
3: The guy in a tank playing a flute?
®: The fact that

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they were there together?

3nd Operation: Through Noggle’s Goggles

It’s been brought to my attention that Madison has local television stations. And it’s been brought to my attention that these local televisions stations have news broadcasts. And it’s been brought to my attention that one of these local news reporters claims to be an avid snowboarder.

I heard this and I knew had to dig a little deeper. It wasn’t hard. She claims

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to be of the shred on her own blog. I know what you’re thinking, “Shit, news lady is bloggermama too.” But hold on. I am concerned about her having bloggermama status.

I have these concerns because of her shred choices. First off, I think she might be running a Head snowboard and some off brand bindings. Then her outerwear choices are kind of questionable. If you’re not willing to succumb to old-shred status that you gotta keep your shit quick. Either you’re re-upping in your costume every season, of you’re going with the safety looks. She seems to be doing neither.

Then again, she’s a local television personality status and can’t get a hook-up? Where are the local reps on this. Get her on the program, so when the local news turns to her for a story about Capital-S snowboarding it isn’t a story about “snow boarding.”

But more importantly, I’m now on a mission to get Amber Noggle on the Rumorator program. This is how it’s going to happen. Over the next 8-9 months I’ll pressure Local Television Personality, Amber Noggle, to ride with Rumorator. It’s going to be awesome. I’ll make a whole series out of it—Through Noggle’s Goggles. It’ll be ace.


I gotta admit this is a pretty slick ad for Minnesota. Plus, the song is kind of addicting. Kinda wish they would have gotten had the snowboarderist in front of a House of 1817 backdrop.

But there is more! Did you see that band? Those dudes are solid gold. Literally, that band is SOLID GOLD. And check out Señor Hurlburt on the guitar. Dang, giving Minnesota some love from the Cleeze.

Your local Taco Bell presents 4rd Meal aka Vivir More

You know that feeling you had back in high school, about that slightly off girl in your class. Maybe she wasn’t the brightest girl in school. She probably wasn’t really attractive, maybe she wasn’t even in the regular classes and just sat in your mom’s office the whole day because you mom was the guidance counselor and that broad had problems. But yet she had those monster boobs that you couldn’t stop looking at those. She probably had boobs before any other girl and this probably had something to do with the amount of time she spent in your mom’s office getting guidance counselor-ing.

You know the girl I’m talking about right? That kind of how I felt about this mural.

The What’s What.

Monday, January 10th, 2011

Pagina una:

As of late I’ve been huckstering some product, trying to convince people that mustaches are a good thing and should be celebrated. On the inside, I regard a mustache as the sign of someone not to be trusted. A rogue. A scoundrel. A  ne’er-do-well. A knave. A shitbag. This is very similar to the feelings I get when women tell me they have to be up early on Sunday morning to morning. I kinda want to ask, “You’re kidding, right?” Man, if I knew it was going to be that kind of party, I would have never even let you in.

I’ll keep you posted on this.

Pagina dos:

Somebody is putting their hands up for Detroit:

Look at that car, MFer, and tell me my city doesn’t get gritty. Sheeeeeeitttttttt! Even the Silver Spurt is looking more like a Hazy Shade of Winter. And if the Spurt is Simon and Garfunkel, this rig must be Procol Harem.

Pagina Tres:

Art (not Garfunkel)

Pagina Cuatro:

Jocks: If there is a Seakkle vs Green’s Bay NFC championship I will challenge A Man to a Blogger Championship.  Man, I feel like Ted Dibiase issuing that kind of challenge. HOGAN!

Johnny Five:

I haven’t been out on the shrad but for one day this year. However, I’ve been at the bike park twice in the past week. You figure it out.

Let Us Recap the Blue Mounds Weekend

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

So you showed up here today looking for Trivia? Tuff break. It’s on the delay this week. We gotta do some recappery from the weekend.

I took Saturday to blast over to Blue Mounds State Park because it’s supposedly a rad place to ride bikes. I also figured this would be a good opportunity to catch some lunch and talk shit with poppa vR. We hit the Grumpy Troll in Mt. Horeb. For anyone who’s never been to Mt Horeb, you should know that town fucking loves trolls. Their love for mythical, magical midgets is only surpassed by Iceland and elves. (Now you might want to talk for a minute, about the Irish and their leprechauns, but those are imaginary.) So yeah Trolls are huge over there. Trolls are to Mt. Horeb as beer is to Milwaukee.

Mt Horeb also loves being the home of Tyrol Basin. That’s some shred history right there. Iguchi. Sofa jib. ‘Tis an image that shall last for all times, ‘tis an image that is timeless. Plus it’s Iguchi.

FYI that picture was lifted directly from the

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Burton K-K-Kontain website, and prolly a J. Curtes photog. Double Wisco action!

After lunch I split over to Blue Mounds State Park. This place is part of the Horribly Hilly Hundreds race, so there is a fair amount of climbing involved. PLUS the land is nothing but glacial remains with limestone all over the place to chew up your tires and your flesh. I feel like I should also mention that it was HOT on Saturday. I mean, it was warm in Milwaukee, but somehow the SW part of Wisco is consistently 130 degrees hotter. So the first thing I did was start to sweat. I also stopped to slackberry some pics. I would have grabbed more, but it’s fall in Wisconsin they whole place looks like this:

Yeah the biking was really great. The trails are fun. While not technical, they are super fast-able and the rock out cropping do give you plenty of options for little drops. I’m going to have to get back there at least once this fall, and when I go back I’ve got to remember to trust the bike and just let it go.

After the bike-a-thon I stopped off to see Moefaniel and his boy Finnstaggin. The young buck is growing up fast. Holmes is already dropping bombs like “Da” and “Fizz.” And he’s got this mop of red hear that will melt all the ladies who dig on Shaun White but kind of find him repulsive as well. LADYKILLER.

I also tried to catch the Hater, but he wasn’t allowed to come outside and play.


Monday, August 23rd, 2010

Suburbanite extraordinaire, @goosefeather, and I were riding bikes a  for minute this weekend. Because we were checking out this circuit of trails near his house. The trail is kind of short and  could certainly use something to get your bike off the ground for a couple of seconds, but it was fast and incredibly tight in places.

Apparently some dude already built a KML or KLM or lufthansa or whatever page for it and you can see it here: Harley Woods Trail.

Later we were cleaning off the rigs and talking about how lame the suburbs are, he told me he was expected to weed the flowerbed in from of his house. I told him to hire some Canadiens to do that work.

Apart from that, I went to Ghicago and my growing-up friend LB made sure we all have fancy drinks.  It was great. She ever made sure we didn’t have to

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wait in line. She’s tip top. She also makes art that makes me think of Katamari Demachi.

Vacation week recap

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Sorry about that. I should have warned you. Anyway, I was in northern Wisco doing some relaxing. The Internet is still a pretty new thing to people up there, so there was no blogging going on. But, what they lack in reliable internet access they make up for in lakes and trees. This is roughly where I spent the week:

I rolled up on Saturday, the day was hot and sunny. It looked like the perfect kick-off to vacation time. Little did I know know that it would be the last I saw of the sun for a few days. I woke up to thunderstorms Sunday morning and people chanting USA! USA! USA! Because that’s what we ‘mericans do on the 4th of July. The rain ruined the plan of parking the boat in the middle of the lake with 12er of Pacifico, a pack of smokes, and tanning naked. Instead I stayed inside and finished reading Norwegian Wood, then started reading The

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Possibility of an Island, again. American authors are for chumps, even on America Day.

By early afternoon the local TV station was calling the day a waste, it was going to be raining all night and through the next day. Fireworks shows everywhere were being cancelled. Americans were pist!

The next morning I was antsy by the time I woke up. I really needed to get out of the house. It was still raining on and off, but I decided to go do some biking anyway. The local bike shop hooked me up with a sweet Trek 4300 hardtail with a garbage barge shock up front. So I immediately took it out to some trails and sloppied the bastard up. I also found this Mountain Bike Skillz Zone which was 75% rad. There were teeter-tottery things like this:

And some larger ones like this:

Then there were the warm up drops. Which were pretty fun to be screwing around on.

After I worked on my skillz, I took it to the trails and rode the shit out of them, getting all sorts of lost. While I didn’t really need to use my skills I did get to rip through the place on some fun-ass single-track. At one point I rode into an area that The Lorax obviously never made it too.

It seems that the people of this area have never read my dissertation, Of People and Trees: Life in Wisconsin’s Northwoods and the Relation to the European Settlers of New England. Do I need to remind people that if you remove the forest the evil gets loose?

Then while leaving this once hallowed area I saw this sign:

But it seems the term “steep” is relative:

By this time the rain was starting to let up. I wrapped up the ride, returned the rental machine and went back to the lake house. The weather cleared for the next couple days and I spent the rest of my time sitting on the dock making fun of the wakeboarders. Man, now I know how skateboarders feel when they see snowboarders. It’s a good lake though.

All of these images were taken with my slackberry, so I will disregard any comments you make regarding my photog skillz.

The March Doldrums

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

We’re only 2 days into March, but it’s already been 9 days since I was last on the old shrad stick. I’m already thinking about getting in a few last minute slush slashes and then getting en la bicicleta. Fuck blud, we ain’t ready to call it spring yet, are we? Yep, and here is the big plan as of right now. There is a good chance I’ll change this shit up, but this is what I’m thinking:

I’m going to build my own bike. I’ve never done this before and I really have no understanding of how things like “tools” work, but I want to to give this a go. It won’t be anything too rigorous. A hardtail and I’m thinking 4-5 inches of travel up front. Of course if I can find a slick deal on a built bike that will serve my needs I’ll probably go with that. I’ll try to blog the whole thing as well.

And since it’s nearly spring time I’m going to tip you off on the heated shit for the sunny time.

First off, I can’t wear tees on account of my moobs, but if I could I would be all over this limited shit

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from the guys at The Hundreds and MODA3:

See how it looks like it’s all chalked up? That’s cool.

Maybe you’re looking for something a little bit more traditional in your wardrobe? Might I suggest hitting up these dudes at Warby Parker. They would be 100% legitter if they hadn’t crapped up their name from some Jack Kerouac bit. But I guess they know Shira,

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so it can’t be all bad. Buy one of these beasts:

Also note the measurement on this rig is 3.7 furlongs. All those dudes in waistcoats just found their trousers fitting a bit tighter.

As someone with two wrecked eyes, Imma be holding out for the Pince Nez.

BUT before we get to all of this, remember that springtime is the second best time to be shradding. Landings get soft, you don’t need to wear the puffy coats, and you can finally suck it up and start blasting those gaps to boards slides you’ve been thinking about.

I also suggest you take a look at Linn Haug, and stop asking whatever became of Anne-Flore Marxer.