Posts Tagged ‘Birch Street Rules’

2013-7: Fake MeatTaco Tuesday ’round Here.

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

Well, it seems I gambled and lost on buying my Denver ticket this year. Should have just grabbed one when they were $220. Now they’re creeping towards $500. Gross. Actually considering driving the Tacomer out there. Jesus, that would be

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Honestly I have made that drive, and other drives just like it so many times. I’ve driven six hours to ride for two in the past. But now that just seems excessive. Perhaps some of the youthful stoke is gone. Or is it just the energy? Dammit. I cannot be that old yet.

I might have to round up the old crew an see if anyone else is down for road tripping. Fuck it. I’ll just buy the damn ticket.

Now you’re probably like, “Oh, Rumorator, you piece of shit, why are you going to Denver. You gonna rent cars

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and drive around and maybe ride some snowboards?”

Nope. Just talking to people, trying to give foolz something interesting to look at and read about. Maybe even something to listen to. How’s that for a fucking teaser. Yes.

Speaking of Yes now boards. I got hit in the face with one of their shirts the other day. So now I own it. Dang. We’re playing by Birch Street rules round here.

2th Rise of the Micro Edit

I’m kinda unsure who to blame this on, but I’m going to go with the media. We have shit like the XGames Real Snow conditioning us to watch edits that are 1:15 long. In this fast-paced media landscape, that’s all the typical brain can process before it shuffles back over to boobs and asses.

I mean that’s kinda true, but on the other hand, it’s not like a 3-minute edit is the worst. Unless it is, you know, the worst. Take the latest submission from Yawgoons. That thing could be six minutes long and I’d still sit through it 5-6 times. But that one is pretty much the opposite of worst.

Exploring the logical extremes we have to look at what we used to have: Full movies with heaps of well-known riders. Everything was polished. Shit, Mark Frank was lighting blunts off hundred dolla-dolla bills, y’all. But that didn’t matter because you were probably asleep by then. All the slow-motion footage was a drag.

If you go way back you were even watching this shit on VHS and you’d have to rewind just to catch Peter Line’s part in the Melt Down Project. Ugh, why was it the credits that always woke you up? Times was tuff.

At the other end we have 1:15 edits. Which, when done wrong is the worst minute plus of your life.

Let’s take a look at this edit:

Mammouth Durette from Snowboard Jamboree on Vimeo.

I’m not insulting this dudes ridermanship. He’s fairly killer and the ender is a proper ender. But we are looking at 15 shots here. Some are just different angles, so it’s like 12 tricks. Plus, the first 16 seconds are just promo stuff. He put out a :51 second edit. Crazed. Good for him for having a beer sponsor, though. That’s a strong move. I need to get one of those.

Now, let’s extrapolate more. How many seasons until we have just one-trick edits? Imagine, 20 seconds of intro, then BOOM! Opening shot, ender, all the filler, all in one. This dude had it locked 10 years ago.

Do you guys realize the amount of work that went into that “Birch Street rules” line? RESEARCHED.

Since we’re on the topic of edits, smash your head on this wall.