It was like an all you could take baggage buffet. A Deal or No Deal on wheels scene. Naturally I grabbed that Cabela’s duffel, but unfortunately there was not one pair of waders or a buck call to to be had. Instead I got stuck with a bag full of heavy socks and Carhartt pants. And Fucking Howie Mandel wasn’t even there to fist bump me with his germaphobe baldness.
In proper style, Broder vR was strictly carry-on an we were out almost before we were in. His Torontario wisdom was running deep too. Telling stories about how in Canada they only have 6 day weeks and how supposedly Torontario is warmer than the Wisco. PSSHT. Whatever Broder. It’s called the great white north for a reason.
I feel I should lay it down for you, before we spread anymore of these Un-’merican half truths.
Facts I know about Canada:
- Winter, 24-6, 365
- Polar Bears
- They can see Sarah Palin from their porches
- The Maple Leafs are not the Torontario Maple Leaves
- Dustin Craven
- The plural of Canada Goose is not Canadian Geese
- H. s. sapiens
- Canada won the the 1976 Summer and the 1988 Winter Olympics
- Health Care? Yep. Freedom? Nope.
- Canada once slept with your girlfriend/boyfriend at a house party
- Nat Zurek
- They play weird football
I can only hope his time back in America can correct his mind. Enough of this healthcare crap. Enough of these trains. Blame Mexico.