Mandatory picture of the window licking bear at the convention center. I’m actually kind of a fan of this piece of art. It’s neat.

This is my boss getting down with a SpiritHood that we are supposed to be product testing. In case you couldn’t tell we are in the Anon booth. They have some ridiculous M1 goggles coming out next year. Magenetic snap-in/snap-out  lens changery. I’m curious about how hard I will have to fall to bust them loose.

This is probably my favorite Capita board for next year, although the entire fucking line is sick. Always is, to be honest. How you gonna go wrong with a woman with fangs and a pentagram on her head. Feels like a winner to me. I was all stoked to ride one on Monday, January 30th when Bloggerman, WWD, told me No media rides. Then, hours later, this floats through my twitter trough: REJECTED!

This was the saddest lunch ever.

Boss lady again. Tired, frustrated and hiding out. But hey, TRice is now riding for hOme watches!

I was at the Shag Lounge in downtown Denver, and I saw this Schlitz piece, so I ordered a Tall Boy of Schlitz. I was told they didn’t have it. WTF?

Everyone’s favorite brand: TheHundred

Then later in the evening when you hit up a friend regarding your location and this is the reply, you gotta call bullshitz. FACTS: We were in Denver, bru, in January, it was like 3 in the morning. And that is some summer, morning lighting if I’ve ever seen it. You can’t just drop these on someone and pretend they’re real-time. Up the game, friend.

This is dude is a radder. Non-stopper. As for that bandaner, that was on a stripper moments before this pic was taken. It was also not appreciated by the Banditos Motorcycle Club, who were also in the place.

This is where the trip went soft for me. In Boulder, touring a fake tea factory. This was tea bag dress is in the main lobby and nearly the highlight of the tour, until Tali started laughing at the “Teabagging Station. ” To be fair you need to picture the ridiculous Celestial Seasonings bear just dangling his balls over the Morning Thunder buffalison. Plop plop!

I did eventually  go snowboarding. I was riding Salomon boards the whole time because I was cockblocked at Capita. I always forget how fucking fast  and snappy their boards are. Their new bindings were kind of okay. Plus, I could ride their boards switch, I guess that counts for some reason. Here’s what I liked #1 The Man’s Board: Because it had juggs on it #2 The Salomonder: Because it had hardwood basketball court graphixxx #3 the Villian: Probably a better ride than the Salomonder, but the graphixxx weren’t as rad.I’m just going to assume that the person who produces these stickers doesn’t have a super mega-energy drink contract.

I’m pretty sure that’s poop on my tire:

What I don’t know for sure is if  it’s from a human or some other beast.

The next part one

Maybe you’ve heard of Capita Super Corporation. Maybe you’ve heard the full trailer dropped today and people got all bonered about it.

I’m pretty sure the most entertaining part is Old Snowboard Realms himself getting named Texas Long Balls. That’s funny. 

Plus that dude is soooo tall. A-man tried to get a picture of him in Whistler, but he didn’t fit in the frame. All we got was a pic of his boot. Luckily, someone snapped this pic of him hanging out with a friend.

There probably won’t be enough Sean Whyte in this video.

Lastly, 

What’s it going to take to get coaster brakes installed on a mtn bke  the winter?

People put these things in their face. The French go crazed for these things. So weird. I mean I hate 90% of all mushrooms, and I’m down for walking through some woods and finding these bad boys. It’s alright though, it’s an excuse for me to hangerang out with pops and the broder.

I even found enough to give a few to the co-host and cook up a couple meals at the estate. If you ever get the chance, eat these MFers up.

PART 2

I’ve spent a fair amount of time driving lately, and I’ve noticed a lot of cars running Monster Energy stickers. They tend to be on various Pontiac models and the Chevrolet Cobalt.

I’m by no means opposed to running some stickers on your rig, in fact it’s only right. It’s a window into the drivers’ soul. You can be running a tan, 85 VW Quantum wagon but you toss a Yeti Bikes or Pinarello sticker on the back and people know that you’re really into bikes. Or if you’ve got a Harley Davidson sticker on the back, people can usually assume you’re  weekend warrior. If you’re running a Capita sticker, it’s letting people know that, “yo, I like to ride snowboards and I probably haven’t showered today.”

But a Monster Energy sticker. That is telling me only two things: 1. I am a HUGE fan of Tooth Decay. And 2. I really like to wear my hat backwards. In fact I’m deep into the backwards hat culture. I may also have a lip ring.

PART 3

Also saw a bumper sticker that read: “Pray, Vote, Pray.”

This is what’s wrong with society. The control of our social and economic programs are being overrun by people who believe that they’re getting an easier ride from some invisible, bearded guy in the sky who says that homosexuality is bad and stripping women of control over their own bodies is in our best interest. It seems hate is okay as it’s done with jesus piece around your neck.

]]> http://rumorator.com/2011/05/this-week-at-the-estate/feed/ 2 http://rumorator.com/2011/03/long-overdue/ http://rumorator.com/2011/03/long-overdue/#comments Mon, 21 Mar 2011 18:25:55 +0000 rumorator http://rumorator.com/?p=1479 First things first:

Whistler is a mere 24 days away. And in even better news, it seems fellow bloggerman A-man will be joining me. I’m pretty stoked on this. I’m probably going piss in his bed at the hotel. You can pretty much count on our room to be going off every night until 8:30 or 9:00PM. I’m also going to recommend he gets a wrist brace, a la  Corey Chrysler. It was that dude who always wore the wrist brace, right? Whatever. A-man is gonna be wearing on. We’re gonna make amazing old man shred videos  and maybe some amazing movies about how good we are at blowing minds.

I’m also hoping to swing by the Origin Design offices and tell them they should probably give me a job as a writer. I think it would be in the best interest of everyone.

Part two:

Wrapped up the local winter season around here on Saturday, and that was a blast. Slip-slid some boxes and handrails and only fell a little bit. On the corrugated tube. Like always. Effe that black plastic bastard.

Year end gear end recap:

Capita Indoor Survival camber: It rode switch nicely, the topsheet still sucks for stickers. Definitely a great board.

Volcom Gigi Jacket: Yeppers. Super ugly. Super Tech. I like it all except the built-in hood visor was kind of bothersome.

Malavita Bindings: At no point this year did my feet hurt, nor did my board fall off. Success!

6- or 7-year old Rome Flask: Still Works!

Part 3:

I’m pretty sure this guy needs to have his windows and or nuts smashed:

Keylo must be fuming, looking at that picture.

Selling out his state like he’s the governor or some shit.

Part 4:

I’m in some sort of college basketball pool, and I guess I’m winning money. This is good for me, as I really can’t be bothered to fill out an entire bracket, or even care.

Por ejemplo: we were sitting at a bar the other night watching some game and I had to ask Jake which number was the score and which was the shot clock. I suspect he may have been lying to me.

Also it seems that some of you out there are not too stoked on L. Hadar, so I’m going to give you this gem from today’s Satorialist.

While Yobeat is over there hyping up the latest vids to be released (I warned you in the spring, it’s all cutting room floor crap), Imma gonna keep you on top of shit right here. You can officially quit glimpsing split second clips of Burton decks and Capita’s creepshow army, and gawk longingly—it’s catalogue time, MFers

So get with it, 2011 shrad is on the way. Case in point, I picked this beast up at MODA3 today. You could also read that as MODA3 2day, or MODA-Kevin McHale-day. Brand standards just went right out the window with that one. Anyway I grabbed the 2011 Burton Catalogue:

I have placed it here next to a quarter and a rumorator.com business card, for scale. First thing you’ll notice is that it’s much bigger than last year’s bible concept (assuming you can remember that far back). But oddly enough I think the weight is roughly  the same. Lighte-weight paper stock, no embossed cover and fuck those foiled edges.  It’s nice to see that after dropping about $5/catalogue last year, running short on them , and raising a ton of speculation as to why the board prices went up, Big B opted to go for something a lot less conceptual. The irony of it is I think it’s a lot better catalog, in that there aren’t themes fighting throughout, like last year, and only the premium lines are differentiated. That damn bible had a new theme every seven pages.

So lets flip it open.

Oh look, Mason Aguirre isn’t mentioned anywhere. I guess he’s cut this year. Nico gets mentioned but doesn’t get pics. Nike doesn’t own Burton, but they are kind of owning them.

The price on Jeremy Jones board dropped by about $100, or as I like to think of it $10 less dollars that is going to some lunatic pack of MOMOs. And of course he has got some motorcycle/americana motif happening. FUCK BURTON, HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE A SHITTY MOTOCYCLE THEMED BOARD BEFORE YOU REALIZE IT’S OVER? Remember when Ride was making those motocross themed KH series or whatever they were. Well, they learned their lesson.

T-minus four years until he dumps a broad’s body in the desert and they track it back to him because of the bandana.  The Gatoring continues. Brought to you by Target.

Oh look it’s the “B by” line. Great. I hope a lot of lades love this line. But most women don’t bother to try and look like girls whilst getting the shrad. So this is really made to appeal to the guys who buy their ladies new clothes. And if that is the case I’m going to make the entire “B by” line more appealing with one, masterful cut and paste.

You see what happened there?

Okay now lets move on. The women’s outerwear line has three vest options. The guys? Nada. WTF Bigga B? All I want is a vest like the AK ones you used to make. Can we make that shit happen?

Also The Nug. Fuck that. It’s called The Lunch Tray, and Morrow made it in 1992-ish.

Lastly the women’s Lipstick.

I think they forgot to highlight “Inspired by Capita” in the features. Right next to Infinite Ride, Bro.

Speaking of Capita: Click it!

And know you might be saying to yourself, “Oh but Rumorator that shit is kind of blurry.” Doesn’t matter broder. They got a zoom  and all you really need to look at is right here:

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to prop up this closer from the Burton Catalogue:

Buy local, because we would hate to see people in your community lose their jobs. Besides we outsource enough for everyone. FACT: Not one item in the new B catalog is produced in the US.

BUY LOCAL SUCKERS!

In closing, you might want to watch the latest Knife Show video if you haven’t seen it.