Posts Tagged ‘Flawsy Files’

2013-1: Back to Life

Thursday, January 3rd, 2013

The 9000 pound rhinoceros in the chatroom:
Let’s just deal with this before we go on.

A-man rode this. That legal weeding MFer, splittered up as far he could go, then boot packed the rest. When he got to the top, he rode a snowboard back down. Holy shit, right? He’s just like, “Swot I do.”

Let me tell you this: A-man is legend in my house. LEGEND. You thought his split adventures and rope skipping were the end of it. Nope. Dude destroyed the Supernatural event with double-helichopters. He comes back next season, kills us with a quarter-helichopter, and somehow it’s progress. Then, he gets back on the splitter and does this.

In my mother’s house they just hung a portrait of A-man over the dining room table. Full fucking aureola. But then again, they were never very good cafflicks.

What else is news?
All the news that is news revolves around little sleep, fewer showers and a lot of standing in the snow. The office was shuttered between the winter solstice and New Year’s Day, so I spent as much time as possible riding on snowboards. It was fun. Early on I felt old, then I felt young and spry, then after like 5 days in row, my body felt old again. But that could be because I chose not to bother with things like sleep or healthy living.

There is also the issue of this thing:

Man, I’ve been riding on snowboards for a couple of decades now. And I’ve been suckered into some real-deal snake oils. Leashes, low backs, chain wallets (time is still gonna tell on this one) and Forum Snowboards, just to name a few. So when saw this NXTZ gear come up, I was thinking, “Well that’s cute.”

But I wanted to support it. American made products, good styles and fuck it, Dale is behind it. I was 75% on board. Then, Yobeat did one up with those fucking cats and I was sold.

Broder, I don’t even like cats, but that was just too good. Here’s another thing: Brooke made me pay for that shit, so I wasn’t even about to be Swayboardered. But you know, backing Yobeat, backing NXTZ, backing Dale’s vision for the brand, I can only dream of all my purchases being so considered.

This thing is ridiculously warm. It’s to the point now that I don’t want to ride without it. I guess I never really noticed how much cold air was blowing through my neck hole, but I do now when I’m necktubeless.

Plus, it’s enabled me to run a lot less gear and stay warm. Often this year, I’ve been out in vests and light coats with the necktube. And that’s not like running vests and light coats in Tahoe or Mammoth, shit is cold here. This is Wisconsin. We ride trash heaps and fake snow.

The Necktube works, go get one here, or get the Yobeat catz version here. They’re warm and your supporting some rad people in the game.

J-Pop America Fun Time Now
After I was old and all snowboarded out, I made the trip to Chicago to spend New Years Eve with C-blast, Metal Joe, and Xine.

Xine was recently run down by a car, but she was still able to hobble around with us. Anyway for as long as I have known Xine, she has been talking about the Xine family New Years party and how I really need to go. A decade later I’m there.

Holy fuck, how did I ever miss this? There were like 100 people there, all family and close friends. And the food. Tables and tables and tables of pickled vegetables, sushi, sashimi, Japanese soups and deserts and it was all so good.

But that was only half of it. Her family is the family you wish you had—all so friendly, intelligent, rad and super welcoming. It was pretty much the best New Year’s Day I’ve ever had. Tip of the hat to this lady:

That’s all I got. I hope you’re all still alive.

2012-33: The Larry Bird of 2012 posts

Friday, March 30th, 2012

Coming straight outta French Lick because we got some shit to cope with today.

1nd

I’ve been going on for the past couple of days about how skateboarding is still the raddest game in town and blah blah blah. And FlawsyFiles has been doing nothing to quell this feeling as of late. But then this happened

DIRECT LINK TO THE RED BULL VIDEO OF A TWELVE-YEAR OLD KID DOING A CAB-1080, BECAUSE IT KEEPS FUCKING MY BLOG TO EMBED IT.

And suddenly I know where I belong—at home, pantsless, catching up on Game of Thrones or some shit.

UPDATE: 20 minutes after this clip was released, 12-year old Tom Schaar just melted into a globule of Red Bull, like a sugar-water Senator Robert Kelly.

2th

Little Andy Troubles was back in action. I’m gonna bag on his music until the end (or until I like it) but you cannot deny the dude is 100% ripper. He’s still smooth with a shred stick under his feet, and really there aren’t that many people who can still look good while riding with Nico.

More Snowboarding Videos

Terms or phrases I’ve used to describe Nico’s riding: Sick, Sicc, ten-point-oh on the sichter scale, smooth, so smooth, fuck your mother, like a fat man on a hover-round, untouchable, Steezy P. Martini, rad, radder, the chronicles of radderist, amazing, amazering, kalangalangalang, almond joy, cuando es mi nalgas, You know that feeling you have the morning after the first time you get really hammered after you’ve turned 25 and you essentially just shit liquid at like 40 miles per hour, like a sprinting sasquatch, the uncanny valley, and cocoa butter.

UPDATE: Dude is stylish too. I’m liking that coat he’s running, but I still prefer his Marjorie, the trash heap, neck piece.

3st

I hope these come in size 42 and with elastic waistbands. Because I can’t see even remotely fit people wearing these.

Apparently you can get them here.

Here’s an idea: if you’re going to sit down to eat your food anyway, why not just rest your plate on the ground, or on your picnic blanket. I do have to admit that this idea of food and plates at a picnic is pretty slick. Every picnic I’ve been on has only consisted of a bottle of water, a pack of Marlboro Blacks and a bag of mushrooms. And I never called it a “picnic.” I called it “blowing my fucking mind in a field outside of Washburn, Wisconsin.” I guess for efficiency of language purposes I can start using the term “picnic.”

UPDATE: I could see the Japanese and Southerners really getting down with these.