Posts Tagged ‘Justin Vernon’

2012-79: The Print Version of a Rube Goldberg

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

We’re just getting right into it today. First and foremost, we need to address the Red Bull Kluge video.

I’m a fan of a proper Rube Goldberg machine. In college I developed a system with three bowling pins, an empty egg carton, a novelty handgun cigarette lighter, the complete works of Bil Keane, a bust of Chelsea Clinton, 100 Mage Knight figurines, a Dvorak keyboard, an ant farm, glow-in-the-dark plastic fangs, table tennis balls, a poster of Dilated Peoples and about 600 feet of duct tape to make sure I never got laid. It worked wonderfully.

Even though I suspect this machine is still working, you really wouldn’t want to see it in action. It was rather boring. There was never the aspect of “OOOO…is it gonna work?” There was no tension. No wow factor.

And that’s exactly what Red Bull has done here. The problem isn’t that there is no point, it’s a fucking kluge after all. The issue is that it’s all so predictable. “Oh you have some minor element of a Rube Goldberg then some car dude drives in circles. I hope he does it right.” The whole thing is uninspired AND it’s really fucking long.

I’d rank this production tedious out of four stars.

Now go check out a couple Goldbergs with soul:

I was standing in the shower today, thinking about how I once heard The Steve Miller Band referred to as the poor man’s Eagles. Like The Eagles need a poor man’s version. It’s not that the Steve Miller Band was any better or worse, both are pretty fucking horrible. But The Eagles’ music isn’t what I associate with the upper crust. For real, Hotel California and then like god knows how the fuck many albums of that weird, seventies, pop-country fusion crap. Do you know effect that music can have on a youth forced to listen to classic rock radio stations all summer? Those harmonies, those simple song structures, it’s no wonder my taste in porno tends to have a little swerve to it.

I also have a strange memory of those old fat dudes being picked to play the super bowl halftime show and my boss soaking his trousers with excitement. He also said something about making Jell-O shots and a vodka watermelon.

Let’s set the record straight on this: The best version of Hotel

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California is the Spanish language version used in The Big Lebowski, which was not performed by The Eagles. Also, can you imagine how shitty a poor man’s Aerosmith would be? Fuck. Wal-Mart would be selling compact discs by the truckload.

Can’t help but think about how rad this whole thing is:

Those girls skate better than I do.

You seen these Keep/Bon Eyever collab shoes?

For some reason, I’m kinda considering a pair of these for the office. I think it might be the Brushie-esque fishbone thing happening on the toe. Maybe it’s the fact that some of the proceeds go to help abandoned and abused animals. But I think it’s because these things are guaranteed to be comfy as fuckall. Seriously, look at Justin Verbon. That dude is not getting uncomfortable. Those shoes are the podalic equivalent of just a couple small pulls and then listening to Music for Airports. I’m kinda surprised they even have laces. I suspect Justin Iver doesn’t wear his with laces, and those black ones were an afterthought. Those laces are horb.

Where the fuck was old bossman gonna get a watermelon in the middle of winter in Wisconsin?

This exists:

Something to do with a Wisconsin based brand, ScissorBird. I don’t really know anything about them, but if I had this image on a shirt I would wear it every Saturday.

This is our Wisconsin: Day 9

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

Day 9 Blog, Day 6 Pic

First off, I have to apologize to anyone who came to my blog expecting to read something about snowboards or bikes or something cooler—both of you are going to be bored out of you mind for the next few days. But some things are bigger than fucking around.

I am vehemently pro-labor, pro-choice, pro-freedom from religion, pro-peace, pro-equal rights and equal opportunities, and pro-Wisconsin. I feel that if corporations cannot share the wealth, why should workers share the burden? I am progressive to the end.

The past week has been long. And while I haven’t been able to stand with our working brothers and sisters enough, I will do what I can from my computer to keep this issue top-of-mind and tell everyone I can “This fight is not over. This is what solidarity can look like.”

On the other hand, if you’ve come here to read my rants, you are in for some wild success!

Let’s Keep Going

We cannot let this issue die. We need to have hundred and thousands of people in action daily. If you aren’t out there walking, there are things you can be doing. Call your senators. Call any senator. If you are out of state and reading this, and you support protecting the rights and livelihood of state workers, please take a minute and do this:

Call Senator Mark Miller 608.266.9170
Tell him you support the workers and the Wisconsin 14, who have taken extreme measures to stall this bill.

Keep it civil. State your point and never back down. Always be asking the opposition whyit’s wrong for workers to prosper. We celebrate corporations when they have banner profit quarters, why not celebrate people same way. If the opposition claims workers are stealing their money. Remind them that if our country wasn’t pouring billions into the pockets of private contractors, and taking in less on account of tax breaks for the rich, we would have more than enough money to support all state employees. If the opposition complains about the amount the public sector earns, remind them that if they organize they can earn more as well. I can help you find an organizer. Please contact me: rvr (at) rumorator (dot) com

How We Can Win

This is going to be a prolonged fight. And eventually it will be time for more radical actions. If the teachers were to go on strike, they could shut down a majority of the state in days. Students would have to stay home. Parents would be burdened and possibly miss work. Offices would have more absences, there would be a severe, statewide, work slowdown. And frankly with that kind of environment Scott Walker and his crew aren’t going to be able to bring in any significant business. It seems that negotiations might a good option.

And what if we were to bring in the state workers. Snow not getting plowed, sewers not maintained, city processes halting. It wouldn’t take long before the general public would see the value of these employees.

I understand that this will put great financial stress on the families of many teachers and workers. But with the risk comes the reward. We must all fight together. We can keep this great state moving forward.

What We Need

Apart from commitment of workers, which we have, we need more national attention. Part of what makes Wisconsin great is that we keep moving along and barely anyone notices. However, right now this is our biggest weakness. We need more people here. We need more attention. We need to be grabbing news coverage.

This story is about to be buried by the NZ earthquake and what is going in Libya. Those events are tragic and important, but we cannot let this get lost. We need to be a top news story on every station, we need to be on the front page of the BBC, we need let people know what is going on. And to do that we need support.

Where is the national Democratic party. Where are there speakers? BERNIE SANDERS WHERE ARE YOU? We have Jessie Jackson, and I am thankful for him but we need more. Where are the speakers. Where is the Screen Actors Guild? Why have you sent no one to come address out crowds. Throw us a celebrity bone

Jello Biafra, here is your fucking chance man. Get out of SF or wherever you are, get yourself over here, get the punks involved. I want to see Mohawks, walking with teachers and police officers, hand in hand because we need this. Make a difference again.

We’ve got some musicians there. Wayne Kraemer and Tom Morello are here to stand up for what they’ve always believed in. I know Justin Vernon is heading down, why isn’t he bringing the band. Marijuana Deathsquads and Solid Gold, have you guys left already? Make some music, encourage the people. It seems Dropkick Murphys are going to show up soon. Which again gives them quite a bit of clout. They will be here, supporting the people who they so often sing about.

Lastly, where are the rappers? The people that helped hone my skills in spoting oppression and injustice.

El-P—Whose America? You said this to me a million time through speakers. At First Ave in the weeks following the 9-11 attacks, you maintained your progressive stance, and it was an inspiration to me. Why are you going to let me down now?

Mr. Lif—This is your chance to revisit I, Phantom and make an impact. Or you can be a shell

The Coup—Boots Riley, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT HERE? This is your scene. We are workers. Are we not your people?

Please come to Wisconsin. Help us spread the good word. Because the more people know about what is happening here. The more power we have to stop it.

Believe me, these cats aren’t reading this blog, but wouldn’t it be rad if this reached them? If we could connect with them? If they could connect us to others around the planet?

I encourage anyone who has something to say to stand up and say it. But if you can’t say it when it matters most, you can’t say anything at all.