Posts Tagged ‘Laura Hadar’

2012-69: Slowly Slipping Into Winter

Monday, October 1st, 2012

Believe me when I tell you this: Winter is coming.

There may again be a severe lack of snow that translates into failed crops all across the country for another year, but winter is coming. I know this because all the snowboardering websites are relaunching and reminding me to toss away money like there’s AIDS on it (easy there judgers, that’s an MF Doom reference so it’s pretty much untouchable).

But it’s not enough to tell me I need approximately six new snowboards, 17 jackets and a handful of new goggles (Notice how I didn’t say boots? Fuck it, only one of those things is blood soaked, so the Ambush still have a few good years left in them). Apparently there is other shit I’m supposed to be being buying as well. Most noticeably “after riding shoes.”

Turns out those beat down dunks, that my feet can slide in and out of without effort, aren’t good enough anymore. MFers what me to actually buy shoes to wear when I get done. Like I don’t just wear my boots into the bar.

Who am I trying to impress? Some ski racer moms? Dudes in turtlenecks?

I thought that is why they put bars at ski areas—so you have friends to look ridiculous with, after you’ve taken your third run of the day. Everyone looks like foolz so it’s all okay.

But it seems I supposed to be wearing these special after riding shoes. And they have names like The Off Mountain Series or the Adidas Blauvelt.

I took this image direct from Snowboarder mag dot com. They even awarded the AdiJBs “Gear of The Day”, which I assume means it was delivered first and came with a promise to buy ad space, of which there is plenty. That’s probably a plus as 40 percent of the sales are going to dudes stoked on confusion as they think thank they’re getting Jesse Burtner’s signature shoe.

The good thing about the AdiJBs is they look like actual hikery boots, so you can feel rugged to fuckall when figuring out that they look like shit with everything you own. Plus, they come in various colors. Too bad they don’t come in other styles.

Nike’s in the game as well:

I stole that pic from MODA3’s instergramps© feed. Check that shit out. Brought to you by the people who brought you Nike Snowboarding brought to you by the people who brought you Nike Skateboarding brought to you by the people who brought you Nike Soccer brought to you by the people who brought you Nike Bike brought to you by the people who brought you Nike Hockey brought to you by the people who brought you Nike Golf brought to you by the people who brought you Nike High School Wrestling brought to you by the people who brought you MegaJocks

Fuck it at least they’re paying Gigi, Nico and Hadar (Call me girl. You got my number, right?)

But you know who was on this tip 20 years ago? Airwalk. Aftaboots. I wasn’t anywhere near old enough to open my throat and slug back 5 bloody marys and ¾ pack of smokes and I knew after riding gear was goofy then too.

Contradicting myself: You wanna know who did it best? Gravis, with the Cue. Bring that shit back and I’ll buy a lifetime supply.

Lets step away from the shred world for a minute.

This exists:

FUCK NO.
Here’s a great gift: 4000 calories, rotten teeth and at least a week’s worth of questioning your sexuality. On the candy front I think this would be perfect for WhyB, but I’m not here to talk about  the candy. Let’s talk about the marketing. Sure, there was the one dick joke in the ad, but we’re better than that. Let’s get beyond the euphemisms and market this thing for the purpose it was intended.

I don’t claim to be a marketing genius. In fact, as of late I’m nothing more than a cut-rate editor. SUCK IT CLIENTS. But I can tell you there is no need for a youtube video here. Just run this image:

Tagline: Rots teeth, morals.

Then simply set it up with a webcam page.
It will sell.

Lumpy Bonus Roll

Aweenda shmure da froog’s legs. Bork, bork, bork, bork.

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

Terrible Tuesday: River Trip Sauce with Laura Hadar from Pat Fenelon on Vimeo.

It’s also worth rolling over to Yobeat just to try winning some slick new Nike Boots

This One Slipped By Me

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

I attended a Meeting of the Minds last night and Mike dropped this knowledge:

“Did you hear about this indoor mountain biking course they are opening in Milwaukee?”

Whatever bro. Whatthefuckever. I was tempted to tell him about a few simple things you need to know in life:

  • Virginia is for lovers.
  • Work from the outer-most fork in.
  • There ain’t no party like a west coast party.
  • Soylent Green is people.
  • Mountain bikes are for outside.

Then this morning Keylo drops this bomb on me:

I guess I was too wrapped up in things like trivia and trying to get Laura Hadar‘s phone number, and this one just slipped right by me. But you know, never late then never.

And at least now I have this thing to play with  when the joint opens up:

And please don’t comment on the toe clips. Thems is gone.

Big thanks to EDK for the handstand hand modelingmanship

1 Reason I Need Snow Right Now

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

I’m setting this little video clip on the mantle over the fireplace. Right next to my pictures of Laura Hadar and that chick from Lost.

No, the really good looking one who was on Malcolm in the Middle when she was young. Though your first suggestion is no slouch.

BLOOD pigs edit from Zach Hooper on Vimeo.