Posts Tagged ‘Music’

« Older Entries

Like the Salmon of Capistrano

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

I can’t believe a year has already passed since we last had to face this shit. None the less, it’s back. And there is even more  mind-blowing counting-to-potato then ever.

Let’s watch:

Now we’re going to go through this one together. Remember to turn the page when you hear the magic magnet chime.

  1. “Magic in the air. Comradery (camaraderie?), family, love”–C’mon really. This is how you follow up calling magnets miracles? Fuck, boss. I’ve been to music festivals and they always suck 4 hours into them, after you see your high school art teacher drunk and fighting kids younger than you in “the pit.” jocko/juggalo. Same mentality.
  2. You’ll meet people from everywhere which includes Minnesota, Connecticut, and Nova Scotia? Sounds like there are going to be a lot of white folks there.
  3. “You’ll Probably get laid.” I’m pretty sure Mel Gibson just got in heaps of trouble for essentially saying the same thing to his  girlie. Okay maybe he had a different inflection in his voice, but you get the picture.
  4. “The one and only Awesome Dre” sheeeeeeeeeit. I promise you he did not get that name anywhere but the internets. I can also give you at least six reasons I don’t think DUDE is awesome.
  5. SUGAR SLAM IS BACK! looking a bit more haggard and taking up a little more room on that car seat. If you know what I’m saying.
  6. An ode to the Wild Wild West, with no mention of Dru Hill or the Fresh Prince?
  7. “Smash through the glass as the fireworks blast.” Don’t worry there is only 16 minutes left. WOOP WOOP!
  8. Psycopathic Rydas RYDAS! Don’t give up now. Stay with me. Something makes me suspect these guys write their own music.
  9. Blaze Ya Dead Homie, doesn’t seem very dead to me. Then again I don’t think Juggalos are to be trusted with their “your/you’re” usage.
  10. Boondox such a pseudonym seems rather unrelated to being a scarecrow. Not a lot of farming going on in the Boondocks.
  11. Anybody Killa I think this might be Greg Machotka’s rapping pseudonym. Sounds like him anyway. Lispy fucker. Actually I bet GM could do better rapping. This is so shitty.
  12. No one has been talking about the Dayton Family.
  13. Naughty By Nature, Method Man and Redman. And we’re just getting warmed up! Method Man is to WuTang Clan as  David Lee Roth is to Van Halen.
  14. Tom Green is still alive. I guess that’s a good thing. Also, he slept with Drew Barrymore.
  15. Gallagher, because it seems Tom Green isn’t past-his-prime enough. Juggalos, maybe your parents will come along. You can all paint up your faces together.
  16. “He does have good dick jokes.” At this point Sugar Slam pretty much knows she’s getting laid at the end of this infomercial, whether she wants it or not.
  17. Brotha Lynch Hung wishes he was from Fillmore or Vallejo. Guaranteed.
  18. Enormous heroes Sounds like a couple of fat dudes. I would rather see Down By Law.
  19. Warren G obviously had some influence in the videos made by this lot.
  20. Ladies Night on the second stage. Because they are second class citizens? Nope. Because there will only be like 25 females in attendance. Probably a fair amount of swervin’ going on though. Same thing, right?
  21. Afroman and Coolio will be there. Kevin Smith and Michelle Pfeiffer will not.
  22. For real, there seems to be an overweight white guy theme all over this.
  23. And I do mean everything. Get this dude an Oscar!
  24. Good to see they have helicopter rides again this year, and even used the same piece of stock footage.
  25. The Alfred Hitchcock of Hiphop Hmmm, so you’re  saying he white and overweight too?
  26. Fuck that midget has a head like a Beluga Whale.
  27. Bubble Foam Party Again you’re probably going to get laid.
  28. Dammit They just said Milwaukee.
  29. Wrestling
  30. Something about a movie
  31. Tickets available at Hot Topic. Obviously

Huge thanks to Cizarek Leopold Kilbaski for bringing this to my attention.

Okay, if you hung out through that let me try to make things a little bit better for you. Nowhere is coming.

I just hope they don’t put any music from The Who in it this year.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in A Very Special Rumorator, I watch too much TV, snowboardering | 6 Comments »

The Unexpected Wisconsin

Monday, July 19th, 2010

I had to hit the northwoods of the Wisco for the second time this month. Okay, so maybe I wasn’t in the heart of the northwoods like last time, it was on the western check-point going in to the region. The good news is that the mighty Ojibwe River is wicked high right now. A lot of storms up there lately. The dock at Smets’ place got washed away, and the dock at Elder Broder vR’s got project blown outta alignment and sandwiched some skiff between itself and the rock-ish shore. Then, out of pure malice, the shore and the dock pulled some Night at the Roxbury shit on the little fishing rig.

I also hit up my old stomping ground bike and snowboard shop. Twas good. Always nice to see the guys who have backed me in skateboarding/snowboarding/biking since I was like 12. Not that snowboards, skateboards or bikes were invented when I was 12, but you get the point. And I got connected with a slick, new jersey. That’s a new jersey, as in unused, not guido. I swear to christ the Vosko family is that state’s only redeeming quality.

Friday night SASMETS instructs me to attend a music show with him. Shit. I haven’t seen live music in several minutes. He described it as good old Americana jug-band music. Sheeeeeit. MFer I once waited in line for 3 hours, with 400 40-yr old women to get Lyle Lovett tix, so I can hang. The band was the Gentle Guest. That’s a pretty garbage barge band name for a couple reasons: 1. I forgot it about 50 times already. 2. I personally don’t like it. Anyway, it was The Gentle Guest’s CD release party and to celebrate they organized a pub crawl, during which the band carried their instruments and threw impromptu shows in bars. Pretty stellar idea. I only made it to the last bar.

It was about 2 minutes into their set that I realized SASMETS had lied to me. Sure this band might be americana on CD but their live show was kind of like an assault. But not the kind you’re going to call the police regarding. You’re going to hold this assault some place special, for those days when you need some help passing the time, and internet connection is down. But back to the band. The best I can describe their live show is to liken it to a young Waylon Jennings backed by Man-Man. For real, they had a singer guitarist, a slide-guitar, bass, keys, 2 trombones, a drummer, and one dude who just played one drum and maracas. And of the eight members on stage, 5 were shirtless. Of those five, none of them should’ve have been. But fuck it you know, the songs were loud and completely escalated into chaos on stage. The way good, loud, fast music is supposed to.  If you want to check out this band, hear their more subdued studio work, and maybe suggest a new name check them out here: The Gentle Guest.

Day 2: if there is something northern Wisco really loves, it’s ridiculous humidity. I was attending a family reunion. Not the von Rumorstein’s but the side of the family from Jamestown. I spent most of the afternoon slugging Lagunitas and thinking my cousin Maria’s baby has the largest head I ‘ve ever seen on a child. I should have warned him he’s in for a lifetime of poor fitting hats and helmets. Then I played frisbee with el niece and el nephew and some 8-yr old relative who only barked when I spoke to her. Whatever, at least she wasn’t a blood relative. Five minutes into this game I’m sweating buckets. It was probably the most exercise I’ve gotten in seven years.

After that I drove along to the Mississippi to chill out and make jokes about small towns. Por ejemplo:

A couple things about this picture: 1. Cream is the worst name for a collection of people since The Gentle Guest. 2. There is no way you would turn left to get to this supposed community of Cream. I know this because if you go left, you run directly into bluffs. and there are no roads though that shit. How do I know? I stopped at the local outfitters, hired a sherpa and scaled those MFin bluffs. Also, my “sherpa” was rather unfriendly. It could be that he was not a sherpa, simply a man of Lao decent who preferred to be called “Joe.” None the less I called him  Tenzing the whole time and had him carry my shit so I could get the top and snap this picture. Then I rode down on his back.

You see that land off in the distance? That’s Minnesota. Lutheran country over there. There be dragons.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in A Very Special Rumorator | 2 Comments »

Thoorsday

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

My Ad Age subscription is running out sometime soon. Honestly I can’t believe I still get it. It’s like the publication that keeps on giving. But I think it has to function that way, just keep sending shit out because no one else gives a fuck. I mean anyone who has ever read ad age knows it’s completely self-serving and  seemingly 100% meta.

por ejamplo:

A couple issues ago it was about “women to watch” and no they weren’t talking about internet cam-girls. But one of the broads was this lady:

and only a few pages away we get :

Okay, so Ms. Wang’s job is to sell ad space for ABC. To bring in money. Yet ABC is probably spending money to get this ad into Ad Age. It must go down like this:

PR Firm: Ad Age, you should put Ms. Wang in your “Women to Watch.”
Ad Age: Who the fuck is Ms. Wang?
PR Firm: Doesn’t matter, we’ll buy a full page ad celebrating her achievement.
Ad Age: Fuck yeah. She’s in. So you pickin’ up the tab for this dinner?
PR Firm: Well, I think ABC is. GARCON! two more Johnny Walker blues and a couple of hookers please.
(Ad Age and PR Firm laugh in unison, Ad Age squeezes a breast of one the hookers)

Really it seems the one to watch was the PR firm for ABC that said we need to hype this broad so we can charge ABC for another ad, and don’t worry we won’t spend a dime on creative. Because Ad Age ads are the worst ads every produced. This is a fact.

Funny thing is, a bunch of these women to watch had self-serving ads. And they were all pretty shitty.

Part 2

Sorry for that ad rant. It seems A-man is the only one who cared to answer the trivia questions. He did fairly well.

Part 3

Another one from TeddyToothtaker

I should really just hand over the blog to that dude at this time. But really that video is pretty sick. There is nothing I don’t agree with in there.

Part 4

Mexico and France time.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Advertising | 5 Comments »

WTF Happened to the True French Fry times?

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

I picked this up off the Korean Intercept. Experience it:

And a hot bowl of thanks to Tim.

Tags: , ,
Posted in The Race Card | 1 Comment »

WednesdayTF?

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

1. I broke my own rule about letting the bloggins go for four days without an update. This does not make me happy, but I had a guest in from out of town.

2. Somehow Glee is still on tv. But it seems to have forgotten that it’s a damn musical, and that it cannot take itself seriously. This is how things go to shit. Shelf that crap next to Cop Rock. In related news: WTF Lost? A rerun?

3. Looks like somebody had the old “Milwaukee Breakfast”:

4. Maybe you missed my unemployment tips? If you did, they’re over at Yobeat.com for your reading pleasure.

5. I’ve got to email a girl about a cork fedora, which might be like seeing a man about a dog.

6. I got this letter from the New Yorker yesterday:

What’s funny is that my subscription doesn’t run out until August of 2011, and I pay nothing near that price. But I called into to make sure I was still on the cheap reads lists and I’m all good. Sarah a the subscription office was a peach. I’m now subscribed through August of 2016. (I have included the ruler for scale.)

7. I’m back into Murakami.

8. I guess this is real. Some people should have their lives revoked. You’ll dance to anything by any bunch of stupid Europeans who come over here
with their big hairdos intent on taking our money instead of giving your cash, where it belongs, to a decent American artist like myself.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Flashion, Listed | 2 Comments »

Fridang-a-lang

Friday, April 9th, 2010

First off, this dude passed away:

And if you didn’t know, he’s the same guy who brought us this:

I heard this bit on the radio this morning about how he went from punk rock to the writing for the New Yorker. In my impressively hanged-over mind I assumed he was a staff writer. I was shook. Even bigger than when I found out that vocal man from Bad Religion got his PhD from Cornell. Or that Milo went to college but then got his PhD in biochemistry from the UW Madison. That’s way radder than finding out Hosoi went to prison and out Jesussed.

Anyway, I was wrong so we can all go back to doing what we do on a Friday afternoon.

Like The New Yorker could find anyone more punk than Malcolm Gladwell or Seymour Hersh. C’mon.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Couldn’t Cut the Mustard

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

1. Who’s on the seventh floor, brewing alternatives?

There are few TV personalities I like. And one of the few is Conan O’Brien. Also there are few TV personalities I hate more thanChristine Brennen. And one of them is Jay Leno. You see Brennan is just an naive. She knows nothing of what she speaks (save for the Ice Capades). Leno on the other hand has made millions upon millions putting people to sleep with bigotry and tired jokes. And he’s an egotist of the worse kind. He had his run of late night and copped David Letterman’s style for too long. Then when NBC told him it was time to go, he whined his way into a 9pm show. Then as NBC fell into the toilet Jay Leno was right there to take a shit on it, climb a top the mound and proclaim himself Hey-sues. Meanwhile everyone else was like, “No dude, you’re just shitty.”

Now NBC wants to push Conan around. Fuck That. And for now it seems like The Irish is sticking up for himself. I hope it works. We need more Conan.

2. What’s in the bottom drawer, waiting for things to give?

Since I’ve been getting down on this snowboardering scene one thing has remained constant: Todd Richards. Well that and Burton Bindings. The thing is for a long time I was opposed to TR, mostly because there was no place close to me selling Morrow decks, but also because this dude was on TV. He was the fucking sell-out. He was on the X-lames talking about the importance of a shradder being a pizza delivery boy (a job i would later take to try getting more in touch with my peoples).  I thought “What a schmuck!” But here’s the thing, TR had something figured out, he saw where snowboarding was going, and goddammit he was going do what he could to keep it legit. Everyone else was making money ,dragging snowboarding into the mainstream, and they didn’t give a fuck who spoke about it. Shit. If it wasn’t for Todd we’d probably have Christine Brennan calling Roast Beets and Frontside Indies in the half-pike.

I don’t even think I caught up with TR’s level until four or five years ago. It just seemed to click. The dude is 100% amazing and a credit to our game, plus he’s funny. Need more proof? Look at his interview with Method Mag:

3. Conquering myself until I see another hurdle approaching.

I would listen to this:

4. Say we can, say we will. Not just another drop in the ocean.

This dude lived twenty minutes in the future. I have to imagine that is something like being enlightened. But homeboy had it all wrong about computer graphix.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Milwaukee Radification Project. | No Comments »

Delusions of Blandeur: Chapter 8

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

I spend way too much time pumping the NPR. I mean that shit just clangs in my place. I’ve even got a loopt podcast of Doualy Xaykaothao reports that I let spin all night. That shit even keeps the ASIMOs awake. Think about that–They’re robots, they’re plugged in, and they still can’t get any recharge time.

But that isn’t what’s important. This is what is: I was stoked to hear them call out James Cameron and his new movie.

Basically you’ve got Neda Ulaby just killing it on the vocals here, busting up Avatar and some new “Tik Tok” song. Previous to this broadcast I had never even heard of the song, but it sounded like pop schlock. Then last night I had the pleasure of catching Ke$ha on Conan.

Fuck me.

I knew, as soon as people started hyping Avatar, I wanted nothing to do with it. Over blown, ego-stroking, poor excuse to of a movie. I’ve been pretty opposed to James Cameron for a while now. Sure I saw Abyss, but that was only because I heard there were some boobs in it. Aliens was a good flick, but seemed to be way to similar to a movie I had already seen. It was called Alien and Ridley Scott had already kicked some ass. And I’m proud to say I’ve never seen Titanic. Nevermind the fact that I think LDC and Kate Winslet are great actors, I knew the movie was bound to be 100% trash.

So you’re going to tell me Avatar was a good movie. I’m sure you’re still sleeping on that Captain EO joint. Avatar fans are typically the same poeple who are pumping KISS-FM or whatever you pop radio station is. And you love this Ke$ha track. Seriously, had I known in my younger days that all it took to get girls excited was a string of hyperboles, I wouldn’t have spent so much time skateboarding. It crap music, your personality on Conan’s show was crap, and your name is spelled with a dollar sign.Not even three of them. It basically means you’re shallow and broke.

Plus you cannot, really spell your name like that. I learned this when the state of Vermont wouldn’t let me legally change my name to 4700, because I refused to budge on the use of Arabic numerals.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Milwaukee Radification Project. | No Comments »

Time to get your slack on

Monday, January 4th, 2010

Alright all you desk-jockeys, cubicle crusaders, and office park aficionados, it’s back to normal work weeks. That means it time to get back on your blog routine. It goes like this: work 1/2 a day, eat lunch, check blogs. You know this is true. Deal with it. Get down with today.

Item #1: Thrashin’

Spectre of the Brocken once told me to stay away from civil service dramas. I always took that advice lightly. Like when your health teacher told you nothing good ever comes of drug use. I thought it was just some old man kicking some ancient mindset at me.

Then last night I found myself sucked into some serious civil service junk. Shit had me hooked. and I didn’t even jump in until it was half over. But it was about skateboardering, so I’m predisposed to getting caught up. And Just so we are all on the same page, here is the synopsis to last night’s Cold Case episode, Hoodrats, direct from the CBS website:

Synopsis

The team re-opens the 1995 case of a skateboarding prodigy who lived on the streets.

Full Recap

The cold case team opens up a case of Nash Simpson, a skateboarding prodigy who went missing in the 1990’s. The team discovers the body of a John Doe in an abandoned warehouse and they were able to identify the body as Nash Simpson. The team now has some clues to work with in his disappearance case. They discover that Nash had made many friends, but also made many enemies after he ran away from New Jersey to Philadelphia. He was able to parlay his skateboarding skills into a career. He was able to obtain a sponsor and was on his way to becoming a star but fell in with the wrong crowd. Ultimately, one of Nash’s new junkie friends betrayed and killed him in order to score his next fix.

Now we’re going to go over a few points here.

  1. No matter how many suburban white kids get skate decks they’re still going to get called hoodrats. Which is ridiculous because, it’s like  Badu said, looking for cheese don’t make you  a hoodrat. But hey, this is about cop dramas, and it’s best that CBS does whatever it can to maintain the tension between cops and kids with skate decks.
  2. Up-and-coming street skater Nash (probably named after Nash skateboards) was killed because he could “skate a line” no one else could. That’s right, Nash could do a kickflip off some ghetto ramp set-up. Seriously a kickflip. I better watch my back because at the end of my skating days i was tossing down kickflips like a beast. A kickflip is the culinary equivalent of a tuna melt.
  3. If they wanted to make this story realistic they should have focused more on Nash’s ability to skate the ghetto ramp. For real, that thing looked sketchy.
  4. Lastly to calm the erves of all the Suburban parents unwinding before bed, the proven killer was not the white kid. No it was the pan-asian kid. Like it should surprise anyone that it was the minority character. However I do have to give CBS a big high five to putting zero effort into this show other than giving the pan-asian a flannel to button all the way up, to also remind white folks that Latinos kill people too. Especially white kids who are good at at things.
  5. This show uses some visual element in which the characters are shown as themselves when the case went cold. It’s like a TV’s representation of a spank bank.  In this case I’m guessing it went cold in 1991 based on the use of a track off Siamese Dream. Like any dude in a pair of Droors would have been pumping that album.
  6. I was so pist no one ever used the term “thrash” or any variation of it.

Item #2: Wok-a-thon

Broder vR passed me a wok for christmas. I finally busted that shit out in style.

What you are looking at here is a mint chutney, tuna marsala samosas, stir-fried onions, peppers, zucchini and cashews, and garlic naan. My diet is amazing.

Speaking of samosas, I owe the recipe to the broad in this video:

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in I watch too much TV, Milwaukee Radification Project. | No Comments »

Sounds like the Grizzwalds got a new hi-fi

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

I’m not much a Christmas music person. Even hearing it peripherally it tends to drive me a little crazy. In fact, after hearing the absurd …I’m just crazy about horses at the end of “Jingle Bells” and the pop-sensation-of-the-year doing a cover of “Santa Baby” I become increasingly soured on the Holiday. Actually, the “Santa Baby: song just makes me feel uncomfortable.

However, there are some Christmas classics I’m always down for hearing.  I’m going to do the list countdown style, just so you can feel the tension. Brace yourself.

5. Run DMC–”Christmas in Hollis.” Classic rap and Christmas music together. It seems everyone should be happy. No additional explanation needed.

#4 The Ramones–”Merry Christmas (I don’t want to fight tonight).” Another Queens classic, plus one of the stranger endings of any video.

#3 Megafaun- “I Saw Three Ships.” This is a new one for this year. Unfortunately I’ve only got the audio of it, but check it out.
Click and Listen

#2 “Auld Lang Syne.” This is the only holiday classic I can deal with apart from Ukrainian Carol of the Bells.  There is just so much tension sitting just below the surface of this song. So long 2009, moving on!

#1 The Pogues with Kristy MacColl–”The Fairytale of New York.”If you eat too much Christmas candy you will get Shane McGowan teeth.

Tags: , ,
Posted in A Very Special Rumorator | No Comments »

« Older Entries