Posts Tagged ‘religion’s doghouse’


Monday, October 17th, 2011

1rd: Why the devil should choose snowboarding for his work

If you’ve been hanging in my immediate sphere, you’re gonnaknow I’ve been knuckle deep in a Faith No More kick lately. And naturally that spilled over into some Mr Bungle action. In fact i was out riding the bike over the weekend and I had this running through my head the whole time:

AND recently I was scoping out some Salomon boots and shrad decks and I stumbled upon this sweet rig:

Which is some Mr. Bungle shit going on.

In all actuality I don’t know where this art originated, but this is some shit-piss appropriation. There is no way this concept ran through more that 3 people without one of them saying “Oh, that’s some Mr. Bungle back cover shit.” Because people know this. It lives deep in the human subconscious. Like the need for water or a Lucky Strikes period.

Then because it’s snowboarding, they fucked it. Granted the Salomonder is cropped much closer, but they still completely eliminated the devil. Perhaps this is strictly free ce pharmacy tech online

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a design issue, but I think it has a lot more to do with the pro-jesusness that is all over the snowboarding scene. Gross.

But yeah, Mr. Bungle. Righteous.

2rd: I bought a jump rope

I’ve been getting down with it. You know, double dutch.

3st: It was funny

Anna Faris was on SNL. I watched it. I laughed my ass off.

4rd Bikery

Shredded some bike trails this weekend. It was rad. Kept a healthy pace over 18 miles. Bike bike season is winding down. Got the winter bike in the basement waiting to get readied. I’ve got some wrenches to turn.

5rd Son of a bitch, They know me!

So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish.

Friday, May 20th, 2011

Well it’s rapture day weekend folks. Or so says some lunatic who decoded the bible. Frankly, I’m not buying it until we see a mass exodus of Dolphins.

What? You think that’s ridiculous?

Consider it, dear reader, you may choose to follow the bible. I choose to follow The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy.

Who are you going to trust:

It seems to me that James is onto something.

Anyway, it’s just different books.

As for the Book of Mormon; well there are some reasons fan fiction is not always recognized by Lucasfilms LTD.

Moving On

Saw this in the hood the other day.

That shit street legal.

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T-tops. Blacked out rims. Full-sized 80s antenna. Sheeeeeit. STREET LEGAL. I sent this pic to Prof. Diehl and here was his reply

Dear Rumorator,
That aint no ’77. That aint no 6.6l, modded, bored and floored to put out 235bhp. You aint bringing back the banquet beer with that thing. You’d be better off putting a KITT steering wheel in it and hoping for some shine from the germans. Take your ass home.

Yours in christ,
Prof. Diehl

ps. You left your mattress here when you moved out, asshole.

So apparently that whip isn’t so rad.

Part trace: Art Critique

I also found this while slinking around the neighborhood.

This is the basis of a really great piece here. But what it’s lacking is the force, aggression, or ominous feeling of a true graffito. First off, I would drop the “too.” It softensit and makes it seem like the artist is pleading with the oppressors. We are not pleading because they are not listening. At this point we need to be threatening. The next thing I would do is change “it’s” to This is.” Beef up the language a bit. Get some cajones. Look ‘em in the eye and say “So this is it? We’re gonna pull ‘em out and measure ‘em now?” And be ready to flop it out. But it’s a great start by the artist

Sidenote: Start saving your bottles and bricks.

Quads: Must not sleep. Must warn others.

Tonight I’m going to see Aesop Rock In Madison. I’ve been waiting for ten long years to see this show. Since the original Who Killed the Robots tour in ought one. Get with it.

I’ll catch you bitches on the flip side of rapture, when the only ladies left will be the sleazies. There will be fornicating in streets! I also have full intentions of looting up a new dirt jumper.

This Week at the Estate

Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

Look at this thing:

People put these things in their face. The French go crazed for these things. So weird. I mean I hate 90% of all mushrooms, and I’m down for walking through some woods and finding these bad boys. It’s alright though, it’s an excuse for me to hangerang out with pops and the broder.

I even found enough to give a few to the co-host and cook up a couple meals at the estate. If you ever get the chance, eat these MFers up.


I’ve spent

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a fair amount of time driving lately, and I’ve noticed a lot of cars running Monster Energy stickers. They tend to be on various Pontiac models and the Chevrolet Cobalt.

I’m by no means opposed to running some stickers on your rig, in fact it’s only right. It’s a window into the drivers’ soul. You can be running a tan, 85 VW Quantum wagon but you toss a Yeti Bikes or Pinarello sticker on the back and people know that you’re really into bikes. Or if you’ve got a Harley Davidson sticker on the back, people can usually assume you’re weekend warrior. If you’re running a Capita sticker, it’s letting people know that, “yo, I like to ride snowboards and I probably haven’t showered today.”

But a Monster Energy sticker. That is telling me only two things: 1. I am a HUGE fan of Tooth Decay. And 2. I really like to wear my hat backwards. In fact I’m deep into the backwards hat culture. I may also have a lip ring.


Also saw a bumper sticker that read: “Pray, Vote, Pray.”

This is what’s wrong with society. The control of our social and economic programs are being overrun by people who believe that they’re getting an easier ride from some invisible, bearded guy in the sky who says that homosexuality is bad and stripping women of control over their own bodies is in our best interest. It seems hate is okay as it’s done with jesus piece around your neck.

Things That Go In My Eyes

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

I know I’ve been slacking this week, but we’re going to get down in it right now. I hope you all brought your boots. Here we go.

Took in Triple and a half movie-madness this past weekend. I say half because one of the flicks was The Class. A French film about teaching. I lasted no longer than 40 minutes. I also saw Paranormal activity and that was not what I was thinking it was. I thought it was supposed to be some movie about aliens in Alaska, but what it really was, was unentertaining. There were two horrible things about it spoiler alert! 1 The theatrical ending is for shit. They should have at least pulled off a CHiPs/Thiller freeze frame. 2. The alternative ending has the demon (underlying message: women are evil) cutting her own throat and falling over. I think we have all cut enough throats to know it takes a few moments for someone to die that way. There was no garbled scream. No blood spilling down the body. Hackory.

So after that I went to meet up with @larsma for some Milwaukee Film Fest action. I told her I had just watched Paranormal Activity. She asked if that was the one about aliens in Alaska.

We took in the midnight showing of Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. So much fun. This is what parody films are supposed to be. None of this Scream we-made-a-film-that-was-so-fucking-cliché-that-everyone-thought-it-was-a-joke-so-we-just-went-along-with-it rubbish.

Sunday night I took in the new Ryan Reynolds vehicle, Buried. Van Wilder is obviously going for the awards in this one. I mean this role was pretty much bigger than playing handicapped. This is like when Kate Winslet was in Extras. The whole film is Reynolds, no one else, just him for the entire thing. And here’s the real prize—he plays an American. The whole movie is pretty solid, except the part with the octopus*. Dude better get a Genie Award out of this.

Rumorator’s honesty box: I watch a lot of fucking movies. 80% of them are garbage.

Next up:

Let’s go back to when we were talking about boobs. I think I need to get a hold of Peep Show’s Let’s Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow. L-boogie from powderroom alerted me that Hadar has some boobs in it, so I was already sold. Then Yobeat drops the ka-nowledge that Colleen Quigley shows some hoots as well. So, fuck it, I’m watching this flick. Honestly, they could pretty much use a cool pix to film somebody flipping through a porno mag and I’d watch it. Also, the riding is really quite good.

Plus the girls from Peepshow were rather pleasant when I met them.

Depth-kon Trizz

I watched Glee last night. Fuck that show. I enjoyed the pilot episode. It was quirky and seemed self-aware. They knew they were selling shit, but that’s what made it funny. Then they got picked up and the humor is gone. The self-awareness is gone. Now it’s just a pack of kids who feel they need to express things through song. The kitsch is gone. Now it’s just tired.

To make last nights showing even worse, the episode had to do with god. And of course the religious people were all trying to help those who were non-believers, or as I like to call them “Sucker Free.” So we got jesus freak telling Sucker Free “You really need to open up to god because you might find a lot of things you never expected.” Or some crap like that. Yet we cannot have an atheist or anti-theist on TV telling the bible-beater “you should really stop with this god nonsense because you might find that there is a whole lot

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out there that gets tainted by your religions.”

Plus the entire episode was loaded up with anti-abortion and republican ads. Gross.

Stoop Kid

Friday, September 17th, 2010

Not God.

The real graffmans only do it up on churches, and I’m not talking about the chicken shack. You hear me graffmans?

Churches. Churchs. Churchz.

Def Not

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This One Goes Out To All The Catholic Girls…

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

I should have put this one up yesterday, but the olympics and a half-naked Chanelle Sladics got in the way. I’m coming up on this a day late, but it might work out for you. Maybe you have yet to decide what to give for lent. Well that’s where I come in. Check it:

C'mon pretty girl, it's time to give it up.

17 Great Things for Cafflicks to Give up For Lent

OR if you need something more to read, check out my Olympic story for Yobeat.

Keeping it Core

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

I’m pretty well overbro-ed out at this point. But I got to say admit there are some real haters out there. Not that I mind. Shit I am one. But c’mon, you’re hating on on Nike because they have no roots in snowboarding, but fuck Burton because they are too corpo. Capita sucks because they are to art-faggy, and Salomon is tired because it’s all been done before.  Hate on.

I can’t help but to wonder if this same level of bickering goes on in the ski world. I really doubt that the core skiers ever have to worry about this.

Skier 1: Yo yo yo yo yo, Bogner is some whack shit. They don’t even know skiing, yo. I’m down with Descente. Real heads, yo.

Skier2: Descente? Shit son, that some Franco-phile in you. You gotta get down with Armada and Spyder, Yo. Now come on, let’s go make our sport the winter equivalent of rollerblading.

Skier 1: Sick grab, yo.

I’m pretty sure this is how every conversation in skiing goes down. Unless the skiers are over 28-year old, then it sounds something like this.

Skier 1: Daffy

Skier 2: Back scratcher

Skier 1: Spread eagle, I just don’t know about these new companies. I heard even a snowboard company was making skis now. Iron Cross.

I feel pretty damn confident that everyone  heading up ski companies is  a skier. I mean you have to have a really high base level of lameness to create some of the shit that comes out for skiers. And the best way to achieve that level of lameness is to be a skier. Chefs make food they would want to eat and the tired old boys club running skiing makes the gear they want to use.

Snowboardering is done at this point. Seriously if you want to rebel just get into militant atheism. For real. It’s pretty much the pinnacle of punk these days. Plus then when you get older and get married in a church and get your kids baptized or mormonized, everyone will know who the real sell out is. As for the shrad, the most you can hope for is to have some fun with some friends. And maybe stick that gap-to-down you’ve been trying.

In following the rules of bloggermanship I took a piece of cake from the Descente booth. It was rather tasty.

Panic Monday

Monday, January 18th, 2010

WTFuck is with this Busyness?

Friday: Alpine Valley shit got real freaky nasty on that tree that Red Bull deforested for kids to play on.Yay to MODA3 for organizing that shit and for getting Kid Cut Up out there. Good showing from the kids who weren’t even borned when I was riding a sims switchblade (or pocketknife or 1440 or whatever is was) backwards because my homey nate was goofy-footed and I was regular.

But shit’s hectic. Planting seeds and such. Meanwhile the USAFISWTF Olympic snowboarders are getting snapped off one by one. I think Sean Blanco signed a deal with el diablo for this Au-79. If this is the case i respect that. Next, maybe he can pop off some of those mo-mos. For real though, devil worship is just another religion (i.e. crutch) though the iconography is way better.

[madlib sample]MEANWHILE[/madlibsample]