Public Service Announcement day over here at the Rumorator offices.
Part 1: This is almost as
good as the canadian workplace safety ads.
But, in both cases weddings are getting ruined.
Part 2: This goes back to the trivia team I’m on (we’re struggling this season, so piss off). One of our potential names came from Mr. Lipski who suggested we should be “She Was All For Shower Sex Until I Tried to Use the Apricot Facial Scrub as Lube.” We could dive into the backstory of this, but it’s more important we address the real issue here—People need to know what they can and can’t use for lubrication whilst sexing. To make it easier I compiled some tips for smarter lubing. Also for what it’s worth, I knew a girl named Becky Lubs when I was growing up. Her name was a sentence. I thought she was rad. But, on to the matter at hand.
Six Tips for better lubing
- When using the KY His and Hers, be sure not to put His on her. Lest your girl will be more disappointed than when she found out you read rumorator.com.
- Don’t be fooled, Mr Zog’s Sex Wax doesn’t actually help sex. Similarly “No Fat Chicks” stickers don’t work either.
- Various things that do not work well in place of lube: Coins, Aluminum Foil, Marbles, Sri Racha Sauce
- Listening to Otis Redding works well; Thinking of Otis Redding at the bottom on Lake Monona does not.
- Before using it for lube, ask yourself, “will the child in her womb be effected by this Seventh Generation All-Purpose Cleaner?”
- Always used water based lubricants. Unless you’re in a hot tub, then use vodka.
Hump on my friends. Hump on.