Posts Tagged ‘Volcom’

2012-77: The Election Day Addendum

Monday, November 5th, 2012

I wrote up this piece for Yobeat about the importance of voting. It wasn’t supposed to be unbiased, it was just part of what goes into my choices for voting. In addition to that, I should have added this part:

As a young person there are a few things you should be doing. Having some sex is one of those. And that sex shouldn’t be about being in love and wanting to spend more than 30 minutes with the other person. It needs to be about testing the waters, discovering your own kinks and getting off a few times.

Unfortunately, unplanned pregnancies can happen when dipping in.  When they do, the partners involved need to discuss what is going to be done about it. And society should be thankful that we have a safe option for giving peoples lives back to them. I’m not condoning abortion as a kind of birth control, jesus christ man, it’s way easier to toss on a condom than it is to discuss terminating a pregnancy.

But look around you. Look at your friends. How many of them do you think are ready to be mothers or fathers? How many of them are ready to give up on everything else to dedicate their lives to a partner they met on a fling, while they were trying to figure themselves out? Now, just assume that most of those people feel the same way about you.

An unwanted child is going to certainly cramp your riding schedule. It’s going to fuck up your work life, social life and even your schooling. Keeping abortion safe, legal and affordable is crucial to a progressing society. Mistakes happen. You should learn from them, but the results shouldn’t have to keep you down for the rest of your life. Why would you vote for someone who is going to do nothing to protect the rights of young women, because his boogieman in the sky said it was wrong. Jello Biafra’s god told him to skin you alive, but he’s not telling all of use need to do what his god says. Anne Frankly, women’s right to choose will protect many men as well.

 Dos.

I think this is the best part I have seen come out this year.

Sure he’s got the Michael Myers thing going on, and Michael Bay would shit on his special effects but, this riding is really, really great.

Non-fucking stop. Watch it twice.

Where you been all week?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

Whoa, it’s mega catch-up time. I should have written this yesterday but I was detained by the TSA. I figured since Osama was taken out of the equation it would be totally cool for me to fly with a 5 gallon bucket of paint thinner.

I was wrong.

Which leads me to item number one: If we are now in a heightened state of a terrorism warning, weren’t we better off with this boogey man alive. I’m not saying that the dude deserved to have a happy life with a harem of middle eastern whores taking care of him. But what did we gain by assassinating him? We’re still burdened with the Patriot Act, the TSA, and the legacy of two Bush-Cheney terms.

Then we also got deal with crowds of people out in the street chanting “USA USA!” Consider this: If anyone of those crowds would have had Bin Laden’s body, what would have the scene looked like? Would the people be body passing the corpse, ripping the clothes off and waiting for him to land on the ground so they could spit and piss all over it?  That seems way too much like what has been done to the bodies of American soldiers by the crowds in the countries our military is occupying. We are trained to believe the people of the middle east are savages and we need to make their lives better. But it seems the only difference is our crowds are lacking a corpse to desecrate.

I keep thinking that people are better than this, but humanity keeps letting me down.

Part 2: New tunes

Get with this pleasant sound coming out of Minneapolis:
Edmund by fatheryouseequeen

C’mon, the band’s name is Father You See Queen. I can get down with this.

In other music notes. The new Beastie Boys album is out today. You should probably all get it. If for no other reason than it’s the Beastie Boys. Go get it now.

Part 26.1

I was up in the northland this weekend because my friends EDK and Hinx were running a marathon. So much respect to them. In all honesty I watched the crowd of 1800 take off and never once saw them. I also had to duck out before they finished. What I did see was people who could barely walk, crossing a finish line. Including one  dude who had to squat down and walk across the finish backwards. Why would people do that to themselves? Weirdos.

I saw their kids too. Rad kids for sure.
I also ingested two of the worst cappuccinos ever. It seems people from the norf don’t know how to pull espresso shots.

I also gave a dollar to this Riverwest looking broad:

All she told me was, “You’re fucked.” At least when the Chinese tell me that, I get a cookie to chomp on.

Fuck a roof rack:

I took this photo at 80mph.

I’m going to let you decide what caption to give this nest image, but I’m giving three examples to get you started:

1. This is where we keep the horses.
2. Last time I saw something like this I woke up with it in my bed.
3. They used to have another very similar to this, but it was a full length one of Solo.

Part 4: Snowboarding

I thought for sure Volcom being sold to the parent company of Gucci was going to be the biggest news in snowboarding yesterday. Then I saw this:

Fuck. Good god.

I’m pretty sure the pants shown at 3:58 are what Keylo wears to summer shows at Alpine.

Part 5

Speaking of Keylo, check out the new shirts the boys just put out.

They actually put out a whole new spring line-up, I just happen to like this one the most. Check ‘em out and order ‘em up here

Long Overdue

Monday, March 21st, 2011

First things first:

Whistler is a mere 24 days away. And in even better news, it seems fellow bloggerman A-man will be joining me. I’m pretty stoked on this. I’m probably going piss in his bed at the hotel. You can pretty much count on our room to be going off every night until 8:30 or 9:00PM. I’m also going to recommend he gets a wrist brace, a la  Corey Chrysler. It was that dude who always wore the wrist brace, right? Whatever. A-man is gonna be wearing on. We’re gonna make amazing old man shred videos  and maybe some amazing movies about how good we are at blowing minds.

I’m also hoping to swing by the Origin Design offices and tell them they should probably give me a job as a writer. I think it would be in the best interest of everyone.

Part two:

Wrapped up the local winter season around here on Saturday, and that was a blast. Slip-slid some boxes and handrails and only fell a little bit. On the corrugated tube. Like always. Effe that black plastic bastard.

Year end gear end recap:

Capita Indoor Survival camber: It rode switch nicely, the topsheet still sucks for stickers. Definitely a great board.

Volcom Gigi Jacket: Yeppers. Super ugly. Super Tech. I like it all except the built-in hood visor was kind of bothersome.

Malavita Bindings: At no point this year did my feet hurt, nor did my board fall off. Success!

6- or 7-year old Rome Flask: Still Works!

Part 3:

I’m pretty sure this guy needs to have his windows and or nuts smashed:

Keylo must be fuming, looking at that picture.

Selling out his state like he’s the governor or some shit.

Part 4:

I’m in some sort of college basketball pool, and I guess I’m winning money. This is good for me, as I really can’t be bothered to fill out an entire bracket, or even care.

Por ejemplo: we were sitting at a bar the other night watching some game and I had to ask Jake which number was the score and which was the shot clock. I suspect he may have been lying to me.

What the Shit?

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

What is this thing Nico is wearing and where do I get one?

Imagine it, me just strutting down the street, enough swagger to make that head piece ka-lang-a-lang, looking like the love child of Sweetums and Marjory, the trash heap, and all the lades on the avenue would be like “Yo.”

But I’d just keep on bopping, I’m on my way to the liquor store.

NAXT!

SIA is on! So I guess 2011 is already over and 2012′s shelf life is limited. Early reports look good on the Capita front:

This is like the 5th year in a row they haven’t put out the sexiest board around. It’s cool, you can admit you got a little partial boner looking at those sketch-titties. (pee ess–I took this pic from that dude over on Totally FK’n Awesome.)

Other brands to watch:

  • Volcom
  • Yes
  • Bataleon

Also, Burrito is claiming Airblaster looks good. But as our good friend CLK reminds us, “Those clothes look like they are made for people who eat right and exercise regularly.”

Now forget everyone else and suck down some free beers.

Winter Wear Wallpapers

Monday, December 20th, 2010

I’m finally getting around to maybe doing some snowboarding this year. And to do it right, I grabbed some new outerwear. Now, I could give you a facebook-teenager-in-the-bathroom-mirror shot. But I knew that wouldn’t work around here. So I stepped it up a notch. I’ve taken the time to drop my outerwear into some wallpapers for you. Feel free to grab these and put them on your parents computer while you’re visiting them over the holidays.

First off, we’ve got my outerwear costume in the grips of  with some really badass, elfen hussy. EVERYONE IS AFTER MY STYLE!

The second option goes out to the Jesus Freaks. I mean if Kelly Clark has taught us anything, it’s that Jesus helps you win contests.

Lastly, we got that bad shit. Careful! In case you didn’t notice, there’s a cougar back there.

FUUUUCK my costume and cougar? Together? Two of the deadliest beasts known to man in one place, crazed.

Late breaking news: It seems I’m not the only one who got new outerwear today.

Handful of Hackory

Friday, September 24th, 2010

Step one: 3 shots of Old Overholt, because this is going to hurt.

Now Watch this:

If we were playing Hackocity SkeeBall, dude just scored 100. Now you have to take into account that lifted this from the pages of Copyranter. So I’m already chest deep in the mucky-muck of Hackwork, and I’m still able to look at this and call it super weak.

This is worse than high school when Mofaniel, Hater and I used to reeneact Marlboro ads, except we used snowboards and skateboards instead of horses. Actually that that was just us hanging out and smoking.

This out-hacks the shitty choose your own adventure books  I would write in fifth grade where you would always die and I would always end up making out with Hairmetal Renee who rode the same school bus as me.

This is even worse than 5yr old me and older broder set up the Nizo super Ocho and re-enacted the final scene in the intro to Marty Stouffer’s Wild ‘Merica.

Big difference is that I was kid, not running for congress. This is some shit kids do. A proper youth learns through hackmosis, until one day they can just cut loose for like six hours on shit that comes out heated. It’s all 49% derivative, but its 51% fresh. Then they get old and bitter and become bloggermansandwomans.

Anyway Jerry Labriola is at 25% derivative and 25% bad tie and 100% hack. I can only assume Slippy is voting for him.

The Sequel

It seems The Citrus Report knows when bite the Sartorialist as well.

Thrice

9191. It was good. Not too much slow motion, I didn’t fall asleep and only like 5 heli shots in 23 minutes. However I wish I‘d used my deductive reasoning skills and deduced not to get the high def version.

This was a VOLCOM flick so out it was art-housed to fuckall. Well not quite Videograss style, but you get the motion picture. Grainy grainy grainy in many parts, completely negating the HDness. Thankfully, it never reached the dreadfully awfulness of the iFauxn users who use the hipstamatic app. Cuntos. Holga-hacks. Even though the typical Holga was really just an excuse for not knowing how to shoot a picture. “I can’t really handle taking anywhere near decent pics so I’m going to get a Diana and shoot everything at an angle, you know so it’s artsy.” I think a very similar reasoning justified the film Waking Life.

Single-minded message: get your hands on 9191 because Gigi is rad and Iguchi is in it and it’s a good flick and just because you can sext in hipstamatic doesn’t give you an excuse for that disco bush.

One Point Twenty-One Jiggawatts!

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Hopped in the DeLorean for a minute last night, landed in 1993 and got on this shit:

It’s good. You should probably listen to it. Granted it’s not Slack Motherfucker, but it’s also not 17 years ago. And Learned to Surf and Crossed Wires are straight-up anthems. It’s got a lot of what made gritty alt-rock rad.

Go get it. In fact buy two.

Also picked up this last night:

But I haven’t watched it yet. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to call this “Ninety-one Ninety-one,” gigi” or just “The Gigi movie.” I guess it doesn’t matter it’s going to be hard for a movie about Gigi to go wrong. I’ll let you know about the sloooooow-motion work tomorrow.

Typical Tuesday: Trivia Recap

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Listen.

All I got to say is “If you’re in Milwaukee and not spending your Monday nights playing trivia at the Red Dot, You’re missing out.” We had another banger crowd last night. The humidity was high, the sweat was sweating, and brains were getting bigged.

Plus now we’ve got this projector system that enables me to put up massive pictures of Emanuelle Chriqui.

So recap this shit. And be there next week at 8pm.

Round 1
The Simpsons

1. Who is the head of the Springfield Mafia?

2. What is Marge’s maiden name?

3. Who voices the characters Moe, Chief Wiggum, and The Comic Book Guy, among many others?

4. What new name, inspired by a hair dryer did Homer once choose for himself?

5. In episode 95 what doll does Lisa Simpson help create to positively influence young girls, a counterpart to Malibu Stacy?

Round 2
Art

6. Who drew The Vitruvian Man?

7. What artist are these works credited to?

8. In November of 2006, what Dreamworks founder sold, #5, 1948 and Woman III, fetching the two highest prices for works of art in history?

9. Owned by the Milwaukee Art Museum and coveted by museums such as the Louvre, who does this Francisco de Zurbaran painting depict?

10. Who painted Study after Velazquez’s Portrait of Pope Innocent X?

Round 3
Current Events

11. Tens of thousands of files related to the war in Afghanistan were recently leaked to what website?

12. Who was recently ousted as CEO of BP?

13. Name the New York congressman, once head of the Ways and Means committee, now the subject of ethics charges including failing to pay income tax earned from his Caribbean villa?

14. Kaing Guek Eav, aka Duch, was sentenced to 35 years in prison for commanding the S-21 prison, where more than 14,000 people entered and just more than a dozen survived. Under what regime did he serve?

15. Twenty-one people were crushed to death and more than 500 more were injured recently at what German music festival?

Round 4
Sports

16. Who was the first boxer to hold the IBF, WBA and WBC heavyweight titles simultaneously?

17. Who won the 2010 Tour de France?

18. In what Wisconsin town was Danica Patrick born?

19. Who is the last woman to win tennis’ grand slam, winning all four majors in the same calendar year?

20. Name the original six NHL teams

Round 5
Famous Nightclubs

21. What Minneapolis nightclub, identified by the 531 stars painted on it’s exterior, was originally a Greyhound bus station and was featured in the film Purple Rain?

22. What NYC night club originally intended to play country, blue grass and blues, but became known for The Ramones, Blondie and the Talking Heads?

23. On what West Hollywood street would you find the nightclubs Whisky-a-go-go, The Roxy Theater and The Viper Room?

24. Dinosaur Jr., Mr. Lif, the Minibosses, and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones have all recorded works called “Live at the Middle East.” What city is The Middle East in?

25. On February 20, 2003 a fire broke out during a Great White set and killed 100 people at what Warwick, RI nightclub?

Round 6
WTF

26. Visual

27. Visual

28. Visual

29. Visual

30. Visual

Round 7
Jazz

31. What Belgian guitar virtuoso popularized Gypsy Jazz?

32. Who released the albums Criss Cross, Straight, No Chaser, and Underground?

33. What style of Jazz is also one of the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

34. What film director typically plays clarinet with the New Orleans Jazz Band every Monday at Manhattan’s Carlyle Hotel?

35. Composed by Fred Morton in 1905 and published in 1915, what is often considered the first Jazz arrangement to be published?

Round 8
Currency

36. What country’s currency is known as the ‘dong?’

37. Where in the US would you find the American Numismatic Association Money Museum, that houses the largest circulating numismatic library in the world?

38. Ragnheidour Jonsdottir appears on the 5000 kronur banknote of what country?

39. In what country could you pay with Havelbluete, Agusta, and Chiemgauer?

40. What artist is featured on the 100 Swiss Franc Banknote, with his sculpture L’ Homme que Marche I?

Round 9
Who dat?

41. River Phoenix

42. Wayne Brady

43. Emanuelle Chriqui

44. Karl Lagerfeld

45. Ke$ha

Round 10
Wild Card

46. Which of these East Side (Milwaukee) streets runs opposite the others: Frederick, Linnwood, Shepard?

47. What was the name of the TV reporter who befriended the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

48. In what plant do you most commonly find Urushiol Oil?

49. In print and outdoor ads for watches what time is most likely displayed?

50. In the 1985 movie The Goonies, what was the name of One Eyed Willy’s ship?

Round 11
Westerns

51.Who portrayed ‘The Waco Kid’ in Blazing Saddles?

52. What Akira Kurosawa movie inspired the classic western The Magnificent Seven?

53. Who starred in the 1960 western Flaming Star?

54. Who directed A Fistfull of Dollars?

55. What character coined the phrase “Missouri Boatride?”

Round 12
Game Shows

56. A popular game show which presents contestants with the answer and asks them to provide the question.

57. On what 1980′s game show were contestants known to yell “Big money, big money, big money, no whammies, STOP?”

58. What game show inspired the internet acronym ‘ftw?’

59. What 1979-80 game show hosted by Jim Peck used the tagline “Who knows a man better, his wife or his secretary?”

60. Visual

Unrelated

I saw the press release today that Luke Mitrani is officially head-to-toe Volcom this winter. Which is good for the V.Co. and probably doesn’t matter to the B.Co. But yeah, it’s time we start thinking about winter on these 90degree days.

I also got some press release from DC regarding the Xgames, but that one just went directly into my trash.