Posts Tagged ‘Yobeat’

Paying Bills and Paying Debt to Society

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

Taking the day off, but you can read some mush I wrote up over on YOBEAT.

While you’re over there, you should probably leave some comments. You should also click on those links to Knockaround glasses and Forum.

However, I am going to leave you with this today:

The Private Family Foundation that paid for this add would like to remind you that only minorities commit voter fraud. They would also like to let you know they went with the “Fuck a high-resolution image” option when making this sign.

The last thing we should take away from this ad is the overarching feeling that while you maybe behind some really shitty looking bars, imprisoned with two other faceless criminals, your words can forever be free. You can be your own Mumia Abu-Jamal.

Things That Go In My Eyes

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

I know I’ve been slacking this week, but we’re going to get down in it right now. I hope you all brought your boots. Here we go.

Took in Triple and a half movie-madness this past weekend. I say half because one of the flicks was The Class. A French film about teaching. I lasted no longer than 40 minutes. I also saw Paranormal activity and that was not what I was thinking it was. I thought it was supposed to be some movie about aliens in Alaska, but what it really was, was unentertaining. There were two horrible things about it spoiler alert! 1 The theatrical ending is for shit. They should have at least pulled off a CHiPs/Thiller freeze frame. 2. The alternative ending has the demon (underlying message: women are evil) cutting her own throat and falling over. I think we have all cut enough throats to know it takes a few moments for someone to die that way. There was no garbled scream. No blood spilling down the body. Hackory.

So after that I went to meet up with @larsma for some Milwaukee Film Fest action. I told her I had just watched Paranormal Activity. She asked if that was the one about aliens in Alaska.

We took in the midnight showing of Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. So much fun. This is what parody films are supposed to be. None of this Scream we-made-a-film-that-was-so-fucking-cliché-that-everyone-thought-it-was-a-joke-so-we-just-went-along-with-it rubbish.

Sunday night I took in the new Ryan Reynolds vehicle, Buried. Van Wilder is obviously going for the awards in this one. I mean this role was pretty much bigger than playing handicapped. This is like when Kate Winslet was in Extras. The whole film is Reynolds, no one else, just him for the entire thing. And here’s the real prize—he plays an American. The whole movie is pretty solid, except the part with the octopus*. Dude better get a Genie Award out of this.

Rumorator’s honesty box: I watch a lot of fucking movies. 80% of them are garbage.

Next up:

Let’s go back to when we were talking about boobs. I think I need to get a hold of Peep Show’s Let’s Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow. L-boogie from powderroom alerted me that Hadar has some boobs in it, so I was already sold. Then Yobeat drops the ka-nowledge that Colleen Quigley shows some hoots as well. So, fuck it, I’m watching this flick. Honestly, they could pretty much use a cool pix to film somebody flipping through a porno mag and I’d watch it. Also, the riding is really quite good.

Plus the girls from Peepshow were rather pleasant when I met them.

Depth-kon Trizz

I watched Glee last night. Fuck that show. I enjoyed the pilot episode. It was quirky and seemed self-aware. They knew they were selling shit, but that’s what made it funny. Then they got picked up and the humor is gone. The self-awareness is gone. Now it’s just a pack of kids who feel they need to express things through song. The kitsch is gone. Now it’s just tired.

To make last nights showing even worse, the episode had to do with god. And of course the religious people were all trying to help those who were non-believers, or as I like to call them “Sucker Free.” So we got jesus freak telling Sucker Free “You really need to open up to god because you might find a lot of things you never expected.” Or some crap like that. Yet we cannot have an atheist or anti-theist on TV telling the bible-beater “you should really stop with this god nonsense because you might find that there is a whole lot out there that gets tainted by your religions.”

Plus the entire episode was loaded up with anti-abortion and republican ads. Gross.

Aweenda shmure da froog’s legs. Bork, bork, bork, bork.

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

Terrible Tuesday: River Trip Sauce with Laura Hadar from Pat Fenelon on Vimeo.

It’s also worth rolling over to Yobeat just to try winning some slick new Nike Boots

The Shakedown of the Breakdown

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

There is a slight possibility it might be time to wear shorts here in brew city. That’s good, but it’s not what’s important. We need to stay focussed on the fact that May is National Asian American Heritage Month.

This also means it’s time for me to re-examine my “Asians I Know” list.

  • Oyama—Still asian, and I still know her, so she’s all good.
  • Lorene—Ahhh! see this one was a trick, West Asian!
  • Some dude named Charlie.
  • Photek—That harsh MFer.
  • Watts—Forget it, she’s canadian.
  • And I once helped Nam Tran get his release signed so he could ride The Dark Territory at Winter Park. I’m going to count that.

In other goings-ons:

It seems like Katie and Chelsey might be some people I want to hang with.

It’s too bad they don’t seem stoked on recycling. John Denver’s corpse just shed a tear.

Are people still talking about snowboarding?
I guess so, but the season’s wrapping up. It’s like the end of summer camp for everyone whose season didn’t end in like, March. I hope you all got to see that one smokin’ ass counselor naked at least once.

I copped these sappy-ass vids  from Yobeat. Obviously.

I need to hook up with SASS and get my ass to Chile.

Through the Thursday Murk

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

We real cool. we
Left school. We

Blawger-back-end is fixed up and seems to be running at 110% thanks to Lorenius. She got all up in like 20 minutes and then smacked it down like “oh your shit wasn’t rendering and I fixed it up for you, in the meantime I also made you some stickers, knitted a hat, built four new websites and printed your wedding invites. In case you ever decide you’re going to take a wife.”

Meanwhile I got the Mac Mini up and running.

Lurk late. We
Strike straight. We

So I wrote up this piece for Yobeat and I had problems all day with it. You could say I was in funk and couldn’t get the story told properly. Someday I’ll update it and tell it with some pizzazz. Until then maybe MTV could have me MADE into a writer. That would be some shit.

In the meantime, I cannot stop thinking about next year’s shred gear or Claire Bidez’s belly button.  But I gotta stay focussed. The first thing I need is a new mountain bike. Preferably an all mountain rig. Kick out any suggestions you might have.

Sing sin. We
Thin gin. We

So while we were all hating on Sean Blanco, this seemed to go undetected by the Guardian Council of Shrad:

The Vito gear is pretty much the worst shit to hit snowboarding since John Kerry. Where’s Todd Richards to tell the young gun what’s rad? Where’s that Nike money rocking out for some designers? Fuck off. Never has Blanco’s deal with Target seems so wise.

Also I suggest getting down with this today:Prince – Kiss (Kid Cut Up Bounce ReMix)

Jazz June. We
Die soon


Somebody tell me what you think of the new blawg. I’ll send you some stickers.

Snowboardering and the Public Perception

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

I’ve been sitting on this for a few days now, not wanting to go on about Kevin Pearce’s accident. The fact of the matter is the kid is good. He’s really good. He fell and got wrecked bad. That sucks, and I’m wishing him and his family the best in this time and I hope he makes a full recovery.

But now this is when the rest of the world starts to chime in on our game. It’s starting to sound a lot like 20 years ago when snowboarders were too wild and dangerous to be in public.

Dig this ABC news piece on KP and the extremity of extreme sports. The first half is a legit piece. Halfpipe riding is ridiculous these days. I remember when Trannyworld was hyping Stevie Alters for going 10ft out, and their measure of 10ft was questionable. Even Pat Bridges (what up, Pat!) makes an appearance and says it was a matter of “when not if”  this was going to happen. That’s because, as anyone who rides a snowboard knows, you fall all the time. All you can really hope is that you ride away from the next kicker, handrail or halfpipe. People even get knocked out on open slopes. Unfortunately for KP, he got the rotten egg. I’d think anyone can understand that.

Risky Maneuver Lands Snowboarder in a Coma
(At this point I need to thank anyone who clicked on that link and watched the clip. ABC news you suck, Disney sucks, and you need to make that shit Embeddable. Tom Brokaw 4 Life!)

EDIT big thanks to Brooke at Yobeat for scratching up some embed code!

Then we have Fat-mouth come in on the second half blaming everyone else for this happening. She blames the “Eurocentric IOC” (because they didn’t give the Olympics to Chicago, but  rather that Euro-Megalopolis, Rio de Janeiro) and wants them to send out medical examiners.

What are they going to tell us? KP is like a machine, and unfortunately he got caught up. I mean he fell probably 15 ft, face first, onto ice. And he was still heeling from an earlier concussion. Great. Thanks. What they need to do is bring in someone to be like “Whoa, Homey over-rotated which leads me to believe shit is going to get bigger and faster in coming years.”

He fell. It sucks. We want to see him back out there. And we all want to see Mike Schwarz back out there as well. this is inherent to snowboarding.

Then Fat-mouth keeps running on about how it’s snowboarders fault for trying to out extreme each other. It’s called simple competition. AND Fat-mouth, it was you and your shitbagged mainstream media that tagged it as “Extreme.” Disney owns ABC and ESPN who gave us the wonderful “X-Games” moniker. The media has done more damage to snowboarding than competition ever has.

Now here comes the kicker: I think I want people like her out front, running her Fat-mouth, talking about how bad-ass snowboarding is. Shit, she would flip her lid if she could wrap her mind around fashion smoking. Snowboarding has pretty much taken two routes: Pipe-Jock-Olympic path, or the  fucking-off-with-friends route. The pipe-jocks are what you get on tv. They are the family friendly snowboarding. Sean Blanco is the epitome of pipe-jock. Then there is the rest of us out there fucking off with out friends. We’re stoked because really snowboarding is what we know and it makes us happy. Doing shit that doesn’t get judged. Some are even able to make money off it.

There was a reason Terje boycotted the olympics in 1998. It had nothing to do with fear of head trauma. It was saying “Fuck you” to anyone who was trying to make our sport something that it wasn’t. Fuck you for putting us under the “guidance” of the FIS. And if you were going to spend 3.9 years ignoring or dumping on snowboarding, there was no reason he should get up and absolutely blow your mind for 3 minutes. The general public is not ready, and doesn’t deserve to be given anything back from snowboarders, skaters, surfers, etc.

Specs December 09

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

You gotta help me choose which ones to wear for NYE:

Okay so they aren’t all scripts. Those purple wayfarers are regulars, but they are gold mirrors in there and I use them to represent my choice to wear contacts.

Part deux:

Man, everyone is hating on Brooke Geery, even the shit that lands in my spam folder.

Meltdown Monday

Monday, December 21st, 2009

One:

I guess the BBC finds the value of this news questionable:

Two:

Maybe you missed my Christmas list for the world of snowboarding. That shit is jumping off at Yobeat.com

Three:

Year end analytics run down

Top Keyword searches by time spent on the site:

  1. Milwaukee Radification Project
  2. Olive garden target market
  3. Chana Jaffe-Walt
  4. Coins seven mile fair
  5. Cafe Hollander lezzers
  6. Trivia team names
  7. Mtn Ops
  8. Devils’s head Holy fucking shit Rollback
  9. OHSU halloween party
  10. cigarettes Riverwest
  11. The goonie pitcher
  12. shitting water
  13. Riverwest travel advisory
  14. Car Thule Lady Gaga
  15. Fuck Chrysler

Servers that spent the longest average time (with more than one visit) on Dos:

  1. Zen Internet–London–59:35
  2. The Boeing Company–Cypress–48:05
  3. Carmel High School–Carmel–24:26
  4. The Boeing Company–Saint Ann–22:34
  5. Burton Snowboards–Burlington–21:58

Most visited List of 2009:

Trivia Team Names

Fin

Weekends are like calendar porn to the working class

Friday, December 4th, 2009

I got a whole weekend of winter activities coming up. Hopefully you’re getting out to enjoy this weather as well. If you do, the thing most everyone is going to be talking about is the 40th birthday of the one, the only, Hova. Jigga’s been heat since Hawaiian Sophie (Yeah, I saw it), but just in case you forgot:

Minus 2 points for the lack of pineapples on turntables, but plus 3 for Ja Rule.

I think BroBomb, is knocking off Yobeat! This is bigger than when Transworld Snowboarding ripped  off Hoon. Reminds me of the times I get too drunk to walk and just recycle Don Rickles stand-up routines with 47% accuracy.

You want to know what’s hot? DeLoreans. They’re hot because they are super sketch. Running a company on coke money is nothing new, but they took it to a whole new level. Example: Long ago my friend Dan and I were doing things outside, outdoorsy things and Dan smashed his finger. Seriously straight up crushed it. Blood spurting and all that. So we race to the nearest community with a clinic. they whole time I’m doing like 90mph (not in a DMC, or i would have kept it below 88) to the clinic and holmes is just saying “Oh curses, oh curses.”  30 minutes of thinking he’s going to lose his thumb and he doesn’t drop a legit swear word. So Dan gets his finger Lee Majored back together (faster. stronger) by a doc who then offers him a handicapped parking pass. Noble Dan turns him down and so the doc offers me one. WTF? Anyways that Doc drove a DeLorean. Obviously. Super sketcher. Long story short The Hundreds x DMC line is wottlesauced.

Lastly because it’s shrad time, look at this slop:

While I’m not a fan a huge fan of prints, this jacket is alright. Mostly because that crest on the chest reminds me of the Miller Beer logo. Plus the whole thing is Gore-Texxed the fuck out. On the other hand those denim pants are tricky. I mean distressed for a nod to Sean Blanco’s Cali’s roots, but all the euros are going to be like “WTFuck is wrong with USA-ers and their denim?” MORE IMPORTANTLY it denim. C’mon Burton, this is not so good. You are not sending these jocks to a Math Davehews concert. If you really wanted to be running a proper kit with them denims why not replace that coat with a proper drug-rug (aka the fedie-weave) from the old Mission/Poncho Villa kit? Looking forward to the team issued Birkenstocks and footbags.

Actually it’s for the best as the entire olympics team is all jocko and the more the general public can hate on snowboarding the better. Right?

ps. I stole that image from Powderroom.net

For a better plan of what to do this weekend, Imma defer to Ms. Twist.

Heeeeeey, Holidays. When did you get here?

Monday, November 30th, 2009

Alright fools. Back at the estate, the turkey is gone, and that god-awful parade went through New York so we seem to officially be in the Holiday Season. Channukah fires up in 12 days. Eight days of anxiety, wondering if this is enough oil for the lamp, Jesus gets tossed up on the crucifix 13 days later. No wonder the holidays keep us on edge. History is telling us it’s touch-and-go.

Meanwhile there is still no snow in Wisconsin. Well Tyrol Basin blew a bunch and tossed out the rail garden. So all the youngstahs can be stoked on that. They even made a little edit and got it put up on Yobeat. Then in classic Wisco form, a bunch of kids lamed up the comments calling each other “fagets.” Keep it classy Wisconsin.

And if you weren’t getting your shred on maybe you found yourself at Brew City’s very own Art vs Craft. Let me recap it for you, you take 4 people are making things that people find interesting and doing it well. They you add 45 other shitbag hipsters making potato press cards of sparrows and cupcakes, add a sewing machine , Cat Eye glasses, some rap lyrics for “irony” (we have already discussed this), a serious lack of Laura George, and BLANGLE!! that’s what you missed out on.

None the less the Milwaukee Radification Project missed it’s chance to pretty much wipe out Riverwest, while 68% of the neighborhood’s population was ogling the genius of making a throw pillow out of an old Reebok teeshirt. (Fact: not genius, and the Pump sucked).

Finally I find this from gem in Lorenius‘ (crafty, but way classier than those filthrolling hipsters) twitter trough.