I was once told outdoor advertising should deliver it’s message in no more than seven words. We will now discuss the pictured billboard in two takes.

• Take 1: There are way more then seven words on this sign. Granted it’s at an intersection where the audience may be captive for a minute, waiting for the light to change. Still I cannot imagine people reading this whole thing before absorbing it’s powerful message.
• Take 2: I don’t even know why they bothered with words on this one. I would have just gone with the picture and AllFlood.net. BOOM! message delivered. Floods are wicked business. You don’t want this shit washing up on your front step. Or worse—in your basement. That is some Serpent and the Rainbow shit right there, possibly caused by breathing in mold spores. Or is this referencing the Great Bayfield Flood of 1942. Coffins in the street. Bodies floating in the cellars. I think New Orleans upstaged Bayfield in this department though. Heckuva job, Brownie. The key is to remember is to not fuck with floods. That’s how you get zombies. And Apparently AllFlood.net can help you out with Residential and Commercial Water and Sewage Damage and Zombie Infestation. For  real, I live high on a hilltop overlooking the lake and even I’ve put this the company’s number on speed dial. I’m not on to fuck with the un-dead.

This dude I knew, Johnnie B,  had his Audi flooded one time. The insurance company totaled the car rather than risk zombification.

I’m looking forward to the 3D release of this sign. Next month at the intersection of Wisconsin and Hawley! Kids are going to flip.